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erin_dee73

One month from moving in; need help getting over the jitters!

Jamie Lee
2 years ago

We lived in what we thought was our “forever home” in a country neighborhood with large yards. 2020 brought challenges other than Covid - I dealt with a mentally unstable person from my past who was charged with stalking and roughing up officers who came to our aid. Never in a million years saw that coming. :( Husband and I decided we won’t feel safe in this house after he’s out of jail. (We have teenage children who are almost old enough to stay home alone.) We decide to build a new home in town. (Working with a lawyer to keep the sale/ownership private so that is covered.)

We had sometimes talked about moving into the neighborhood in which we are building and even put in an impulsive offer on a house there 10 years ago but were outbid. Kids will be able to walk to school from the new house. No longer a 15 minute drive to run and get milk or go to church. We’ll be able to bike to the coffee shop and library. No more taking care of a large yard that we never really liked because we aren’t gardeners.

Our new house is beautiful and after living in fixer uppers for 20 years, I swoon at the idea of everything being new with no work involved (we aren’t fixer-upper people either, LOL.) On paper it all seems right but I just have these jitters! While too much privacy was a problem for us (most of our neighbors didn’t even realize there were cop cars up and down the street the night of “the incident” and didn’t hear the yelling in our front yard), I am babyishly mourning the loss of my hot tub with no neighbors around. It was a big source of zen for me. (But, I wouldn’t have felt comfortable going in it anymore once the person is out of jail). We specifically chose a lot that had neighbors on all sides for more peace of mind. But the house being built behind ours has three levels that will look right into our house. The taxes are double what we paid in the country but it is what it is. Plus we’re dealing with all the people who say “oh my god, why would you ever leave that nice house in the country?” and having to make things awkward by explaining “I had a stalker” or lie and feel like they are judging us for making a “dumb” decision. :( The people who bought our house are a lovely young couple who will probably raise a happy family there like we did. I’m happy to pass it along to people like them. So it’s a healthy mix of emotions going on.

I keep telling myself in 5 years we’ll be settled in the new place and I won’t even think about the things I have jitters about now. It’s just nervousness about change and taking a big step that I didn’t plan on taking. I keep reminding myself that the situation that led to this was not my fault and life sucks sometimes and I can’t be a pouty person about what might have been. The safety of my family trumps all. And reminding myself that my husband and I are fortunate to have been able to build our “dream home” at a moment’s notice during a very expensive time to build, and afford a lawyer to help with privacy.

So I don’t know what I’m looking for exactly. Lol. Maybe I’m just needing to get my story off my chest because there are so many people who don’t know the real reason we are moving. And maybe hear from others who had jitters about a home change situation but were happier in the long run.

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