First of all, according to various people, you may want to reconsider keeping your catfish and pond fish together. I posted a link below - or you can do a search yourself on the subject. In our pond in Upstate NY (similar in zone to you), I remove all my tropical plants in early October. We cut back our hardy water lilies which are planted directly in the pond and drop to the bottom the other hardy plants. Our pond is 3 feet deep and approx. 3,000 gallons so the fish overwinter in the pond. I don't know what you should do with a pond that small. We purchased a plastic 100 gallon tub at Country Max for our tropical plants, and I think that would work well for your fish if you decide to bring them indoors. You would have to add a pump or air stone for aeration and something for filtration. My husband altered the "plug" with a faucet and we can drain it pretty easily with a garden hose into our basement sewer come spring. Here is a link that might be useful: catfish in a pond

Remember when you called me and I also told you that the baby heucheras, sold as starter plugs, should be started in small pots? I still think that is what you need to do to have any success with them. The hostas should probably do fine in spin out bags but I don't think putting starter plugs of Heuchera into a 5 gallon spin out bag will help them to get started. If you are putting things in the spin out bags I don't quite understand why you would also be continuing to amend and till the soil. Baby heuchera do not need to be constantly moist. Let them dry slightly between waterings and then only water them lightly. They don't like wet feet and don't like clay soil. You want to encourage them to get new roots without rotting them away. The hostas will like more water than the heuchera. I would still recommend, like we discussed on the phone, that you pot up the heuchera in a well draining potting soil in small pots (about 4" deep and about 3" wide) and tend those that way until they are rooted out. If you were to plant directly in the ground I would recommend adding a lot more soil amendments to the garden and then rototill that all in and plant the hostas that way. If you are worried about root infiltration and are going to try the spin out bags then just dig the holes big enough for those bags, I believe people fill it with good garden soil, then plant the hostas in that. But like I mentioned I don't have any direct experience myself with the spin out bags. Lots of people have given what I think is good advice but I think you are getting confused by all the different things being suggested. And while I hope you do have some success with some things there be prepared for some losses as it can be tough figuring out a new garden situation like this and what will grow there. Chris

The boy has been living with his grandmother for half his life, and all his 'memory life'. That is his home, his mother, his life, his stability, his comfort. Dad bought a house 8 months ago and there's not enough room for his son. But there's enough room for you? The fact is, and you need to look at it in the eye--he doesn't want to take care of his son. It says a lot about him. I'll let you think about what it means. So then there's you, and you pressure your boyfriend to do what he ought--step up to the parenting plate. Your boyfriend has made it very clear he doesn't want to, so he pushes the burden back onto you and pressures you to step up to the parenting plate. The truth is neither of you want to do the job (and I don't blame you if you don't want the job, it's a big responsibility and a lot of trouble--particularly when your partner isn't going to do his part). However, both of you are quick to criticize grandma and how she raises him. How many children have you raised? How many ADD children have you raised? A supreme court justice once said, "I used to have 9 theories about how to raise children; and no children. Now I have 9 children and no theories." You've invested very little into this relationship. Only a year, you are independent, you have your own house, you aren't hungering for a wedding and a family. Already you are pressuring him, he's pressuring you, things seem to be falling apart, you have the inkling that the engagement was 'premature'. Stop and think. And be honest. Nobody but grandma has stepped up to raise this child, not his mother, father or you. And you should not; because if things do fall apart and this child gets to depend on you and you leave, you will have done a terrible thing. His grandmother is doing fine, no matter what you think. She's his home, his center, his world, all he knows best. Don't meddle because you think things 'should' be different. If you really think things should be different, you need to find a different situation that fits your definition of should. That's the only way you will be happy. You cannot force a square peg into a round hole. If your boyfriend does not feel paternal, he does not feel paternal. Deal with the reality. It is what it is. You cannot pressure him into feeling what he doesn't feel. Any more than he can pressure you into feeling something you don't feel. And why is he pressuring you so marry so quickly, to move in, elope, whatever. Is it to get you off his back about his parenting? Or is there more. I say do nothing until you think this through more. He's not 24, he's 30. And he's immature. And he's not good parent material. And he's coming with baggage. A little boy with problems that are only going to get larger as he understands his situation better (where's mom? why don't I live with dad? is grandma going to die?). No you are not being selfish, you are being wise.

Great minds think alike! I also planted VQ to co-mingle a bit with my ND. :) I think the difference in colour and bloom form is just enough to keep it interesting. Regarding transplanting now vs. waiting, I would let it finish its flush and then move it if it's an established plant. However, your cool temps would be perfect if it's fairly young. I'm also a newbie to general rose growing, but have had 75yr old ND for years and have now transplanted them multiple times, most recently this Spring. With the help of everyone on this forum it was very successful. I got as much root ball as possible and dragged them on a tarp to their new location, having already dug and amended the new (huge) hole. I water in after adding ~half the soil and again at the end. I also make a little berm around it to keep the water from flowing off. Lots of compost, but no fertilizer. I watered well until established. Two of the transplants didn't miss a beat, and the other lost its first set of leaves to shock, but