First of all I want to Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your advice & compassion. I have been very stressed over all of this and I could feel the genuine concern you have for our situation. Just to fill in a few blanks, we are both now 56 yo. DH has his BA & MBA & a certified Project Manager. He worked AND went to school at same time. I'm afraid I am lacking in the educational department. I have 2 AA degrees in nothing marketable, & got my RE License about a month(2006) before the market started crashing-but left because of my DM deteriorating health at the time. But, actually I was the main caregiver for both of my parents from 2001 until 2007 in our home until they both passed. Dad had cancer & Mom had Alzheimer/dementia. About 2 months after my DM died (Dec '07) I started babysitting(Feb'08) for my 2 granddaughters until just this past November '09, when I started working part-time again. Can't believe I did the formula, diapers, potty-training all over again, but my girls were a good distraction from my grief. My DS & DDIL paid when the could, what they could,--most of the time, not at all, but I just wanted to help them out & make sure the girls were safe with me. It was never about the income, it was all about what was best for my GDD's. Last summer I looked into a local university here & wanted to start school to get a Gerontoloy Certificate ( would take 18 months) & eventually work in Hospice & for seniors. (Heck, I am a senior now too according to Bob Evans--lol) I guess I am just destined to be a caregiver all my life. I started the application process & was told I would probably be eligible for Finacial Aid, but I think working Full Time has to be my priority now. I've been brainstorming to think of any additional means of bringing in some income--like maybe renting out the in-law quarters of our home. Selling off some jewelry--only about $200.00 worth, but every bit has to help. We're down to 1 car which we "juggle". Right now, everything just seems up in the air. We might know more by this week-end, when either my DH's project goes well or comes crashing down & him with it. I am preparing for the crash down, because in the past few weeks, anything that could go wrong, has gone wrong. Like servers going down for hours, connection problems etc. One manager just walked off the job, because he said he couldn't take the pressure anymore. So, Thank you, thank you, thank you, all for taking the time just to let me talk/write about this & for listening. I know there are those here with far worse problems (health etc) & my problems are miniscule compared to theirs, but I thank you again for your suggestions & support. God Bless ~~ katclaws

Well, so far things are better... I had a talk with DH that seems to have opened his eyes a bit. I explained that I have so many other things on my mind, the housework & even SD's attitude are low on my priority list. I told him that I am fine with her attitude & not liking me, but I'm not fine with having someone give me an ultimatum when we are supposed to be partners. I'm not going to let SD be on of our "issues". She does not have to like me but I also explained to him that it goes both ways, I don't have to DO things for her so when she says I'm being "mean" to her, it's just HER perception because I'm not offering to do things for her nor giving it any energy when she wants/needs things. She has a play this week & needs a costume. She started whining to DH last week about it and he has said several times he doesn't know what to do about it because she hasn't told him what KIND of costume she needs. Normally, I would jump in (because it's a mommy thing to do) and find out from the teacher what she needs & get it for her. Instead, I have let HIM handle it. I have not said a word and when he asked me what he should do, I could only tell him that I think he should put as much energy into seeing that she does her homework & study for her tests as he does in finding her a costume. She has a D in PE because she took a 0 last week. She got an F on her report for the play she is in. Personally, I don't agree with the way the school gives points & grades... her math teacher gave 20 points for kids that brought food in for the canned food drive. Really? Of course, I am mean Ima & said no when she asked if she can take canned food to school. I donate directily to the food bank so why give her extra credit points when she's not doing her homework? Anyway, the only input I would give on the play costume is that it's HIS thing because SD isn't talking to me and I think she should worry so much about the rest of her grades as she is about the costume. He agreed. I won't do anything for her... except driving her to her bus stop. I agree Amber that if I weren't around, he would have to leave work or figure it out. The other option would be to have him get his mom (who doesn't work & is on SD's sied against mean Ima) go pick her up, which if fine with me but SHE says she's too busy all the time so DH doesn't want to ask her. She will do it, but then piss & moan about why can't Ima do it? That's just another headache for me that I don't want/need. But, I agree it's not MY problem. "I had hoped your SD would act/behave like mine for a couple weeks anyway ..." It would be nice for her to be pleasant & she has been... in her way. She came home from BM's last night, cheerfully said "HI!" to me and I said Hi. Then she went in her room, got ready for bed & came out to say goodnight to DH & said goodnight to me. Then this morning, back to not talking to me. I don't know if she sincerely wants to be nice or if she is forcing herself. I get the feeling that she throws out a nice, friendly hello or thank you so when she is crying about how mean I am to her, she can say she TRIES to be nice to me. I don't know? It's not very consistent or sincere so I don't know what to make of it. I am friendly when she is friendly, I ignore her when she ignores me. I don't go out of my way to kiss her @$$ so she will like me because I think if she wants to like me, she would be sincere and not use me to get attention from everyone by making me the villain while she is my victim. I did tell DH that when she thinks I'm being mean to her, it's just me treating her the way she treats me... and he can tell her that. (and if HE ever thinks I'm being mean to her... he needs to come talk to me about it & not jump on me based on what SHE tells him) As for her being nice to me for a couple of weeks, I prefer her to be sincere. If she is going to fake being nice just to get something from me... and then go back to backstabbing me, I'd rather not have two weeks of fake BFF niceness from her. But, I will take cordial pleasantness, fake or real. Unfortunately for her, until she proves sincerity, I just assume it's fake. That makes me sad but it's the way it is. As for my son and DIL, I know everything JMT said is true & that's why it's upsetting to me. Realistically, I may be worrying over nothing. My DS came home for the holidays two years ago & I backed off to let him take care of his son for the two weeks he was here. It was too much for him then & the baby was only 21 months old. DIL has had the opportunity to spend more time with DGS than she has but has made excuses... has to work, wants to go out, etc. and in the last 6 months, I have provided the majority of transportation for her... taking DGS to see her and picking him up. Even then, she complained that I was an hour late picking him up after she hadn't seen him for a month. Then she went 6 weeks without seeing him and has seen him ONE time since getting out of rehab three weeks ago. I am taking him to see her this next weekend because we are going to a party near where she lives. Otherwise, I don't think she would see him. Those are not the actions of someone that wants 50% shared custody. When I visited my son in March, he said how he missed DGS before & was going to miss him more when we were leaving. I asked him if he wants to keep him & he said it was too much for him. He didn't think he could handle it by himself. So, realisticaly I don't know how serious he is about taking over full time. I would be happy to have him take a few days a week when he returns but leave him "living" in my home where he is stable... at least until he (my son) adjusts and is able to handle full time. It has to be a transition for DGS sake and my worry is more about DIL wanting to move back to the area when my son comes home. They are like oil & water. Separate, I get along good with both of them but when they get together, DIL goes psycho. She gets jealous, insecure, & starts fights... then plays victim. She has been arrested for domestic violence on him a few times but the DA never ressed charges. She claims she is the victim. They need to stay away from each other & my only job is going to be to keep DGS from being pulled into the middle of it & have him be the pawn they use to hurt each other. My mom went to Stanford for a second opinion. They did a CT scan & told her she has 5 cancerous lesions on the surface of her liver. The prognosis was more positive than her first doctor gave her. I guess her first doctor didn't spend much time explaining it to her so she didn't have a lot of confidence and was stressing out. and for holiday plans. So far, DH hasn't said anything about going to his parents at all. I'm not going to worry about it. I bought them a gift & will drop it off to them if they don't invite us over... or will send with him if they don't invite ME over. He is free to go without me. :) My niece is getting married on Christmas Eve on our property so I will probably be helping with that as well. My dad is planning to take his lady friend (he doesn't call her a GF) to dinner on Christmas day. She is spending the morning with her kids. I plan to stay home & spend the day playing with DGS unless DH wants me to go with him to his parents. It would be more pleasant to stay home than spend the day with MIL but I also don't want to put DH in a position of having to explain my absence... unless I go visit my mom. Honestly, they don't care to see me but would talk crap to DH if I don't go. LOL, they will probably talk crap whether I go or not.

jrdip, I'd advise a rum and diet soda if you weren't pregnant. Since you are pregnant, drink that herbal tea and realize that $hit happen$ $ometime$ and some people we deal with are $hittier than others. OK...try to laugh. You KNOW it's true. That being said, look at the myriads of documents that you signed over your counters. Is there a clause that addresses the remedy in this situation if there is a delay on your job? If not, then try to negotiate a compensation. FWIW, next time, do not go to HD, go directly to the fabricator and do business. Do not sign your rights away in a situation like this ever again and make positive that you have a remedy in the contract for delay due to the fabricators fault or errors. This is how I did business for my granite with the same fabricator that HD uses here in north Florida. I ended up collecting on suggested remedies I hand wrote in my contract. I got free upgraded edging of my choice, free metal underplate on my 4'x8' island, and 10% reduction on overall cost of job. I collected THREE times due to my remedies in my contract. How? I let them give themselves PLENTY of time to do the job. I paid 50% up front. I wrote down suggestions for remedies. They chose the remedy. For delay to the job past 7 calendar days, 10% reduction on job cost = $800. Forgot to charge me for metal plate: got item for free because it was in the contract bid I submitted. Gave away one of my slabs for which they had already been paid: got free edging upgrades on all slabs. (I had a whole house, too. Kitchen, 5 baths, three other vanities and counters.) There are SO many things you are going to learn because of the delays. Think of it as a free course at H.K.U., my Alma Mater. This course should not cost you a dime, but certainly should cost HD's subs. I would talk to the manager or DISTRICT manager of HD to insist on some compensation. FWIW, right now, you and your baby's health is what is most important. This is just minor stuff that seems huge right now, but in the scheme of things,nothing that has happened is insurmountable. I would refute that credit charge and threaten HD. HD is the one that should be on the hot seat for charging you before you were smiling. This is flagrant abuse in this situation with everyone knowing that the job is not completed and wrong. I'd bark up HD's food chain for a reduction in price or make them seek compensation on your behalf with THEIR subcontractor. I'm still correcting a mess from my kitchen cabinet maker and it's almost three years into it. Search my name and the story should come up. I will never do business again with someone that cannot afford to be sued.

Because I grew up in So Cal and lived there till I was nearly 30, I saw and met and had random encounters with celebrities all the time. Some of my favorites were when I worked for a catering company that did the wrap party for a movie Bill Murray was in in the late 70's. He ended up hanging out with a bunch of us young people and telling jokes. One night while out for dinner at a thai restaurant, my boyfriend and his friend, who were in a band, started singing a Doobie Brothers song, and then the bass player for the Doobies came over and sat with us, he was laughing at the guys and decided to join us. I was a mail carrier in the area near Universal Studios and I had many celebs on my route-Robert Blake once invited me in for breakfast; the guy who played Gary on Knotts Landing always greeted me very pleasantly. I saw Mark Harmon at McDonalds (Swoon), Ed Asner was nice to me, and he lived in a simple suburban cottage! But the one who really bothered me was Eric Estrada. EVERY TIME I'd deliver his mail, he'd be standing at his mail box and would try to flirt with me. I once yelled at him because his dog jumped in my jeep and he coudln't apologize enough. I'd see him at the grocery store all the time too. He's just as smarmy as you can imagine. My personal fave is when I was standing on line at a deli and started chatting with a tall, skinny blonde guy. We chatted about random stuff for about 10 minutes and I kept thinking "I know him from some where" but I wasn't going to ask who he was. Later, when I got home I realized it was Tom Petty! My family has a long history of theater, music and working in Hollywood. My uncle has a special effects company and he specializes in explosions. He's won an Emmy and is very good friends with a famous director. He works on several TV shows currently. But my biggest claim to fame-my Great-great Aunt was the Italian lady who Lucy Ricardo stomped grapes with in the famous I Love Lucy episode. Her son, my father's cousin, was in the band Climax-their most famous song was Precious and Few. Aunt Teresa was actually an opera singer!