It's normal to not be able to look into a recessed light. If the light is too bright, consider adding a dimmer for flexibility. Leviton has a really nice toggle dimmer with tiny touch pads on the sides to adjust the brightness.

If you have screw in recessed can fixtures and want to visualize the mini pendants without doing the can tearout first--you can pick up a couple of recessed can/mini pendant light conversion kits--Lowes carries a couple (nickel Model #: MPA-1PNK or antique bronze [Model #: MPA-1JBZ]) with no bulb or shade that screws into the existing edison socket, has a decorative base that covers the recessed can. You can play with different light shades as well. We did this for our remodel, and never bothered to do the formal can tearout. I think there may be other conversion kits at Lowes, but the cover and the shade did not match our kitchen. Hope this helps.

I like them all, but not number 2, but maybe that one will work for your taste- it's just not mine. I really like 3 and 4 (the one your husband likes).

I think a larger black tone lantern would look great. You have only a single light box.. I wouldn't do three. I would personally do one or two decent size lanterns left and right. The size and width of the island would need to be known if you are hanging multiples. Many different lanterns out there in black. I favor the Darlana by Visual Comforts. It's very well made and has more straight lines than the mock up above. The iron on the one above across the top each piece is slightly rounded. This is Darlana however obviously showing in the gold tone. It's available in dark, gold and silver tone. With a lantern the ceilings will need to be fairly high.