No worries on the hijacking. This thread ended up way more interesting than it started and got to the crux of the matter, even if I didn't realize that's I was really asking. The consensus thing is interesting and so right on. I am constantly looking for validation for my choices. I consider this to be a character flaw and I'm trying to change my ways. So the way I deal with things is to not tell anyone what our decision is (well other than a few people like the friend who has been weighing in on design decisions for years and people who I know will nod politely even if they hate it). It is easier for me to be all confident and take on the attitude of "it's my kitchen and therefore the opinions of my DH and I are the only that matter" when I've not opened myself up to hearing negative comments (real and perceived) about our choices. The second I hear something negative it takes a little joy out of it for me. Like I said, it's a character flaw. That's why I don't ask for opinions on GW unless I REALLY want to know the good the bad and the ugly of it. Because people here are honest. That's a good thing, by the way, because it's the kind of honestly you won't get from the "oh that's nice" nodders and sometimes you really need that. You'll notice, for instance, that I never came back to this thread to mention what the decision actually was or to report that I did make one (thankfully just a few days after starting this thread so I could move on with my life). People here tend to be much more positive when they see a kitchen finished not only because they see the whole vision completed but also because they realize that it's not changing now so there is no need to say anything but positive comments (that reaffirm those pesky decisions). The nightmare: a finished kitchen post that only gets a handful of comments because you know people are doing the whole "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything." And of course that's when you wish you had asked for some truthful opinions while you were making the decisions.

I'm interested to hear the feedback you get from this question also so I'm going to bump you. Hope you get more responses.

Gemcap - thank you for the link - I see what you mean about some granites seeming more suited to the job than others. Thanks for the link - I am not sure I would have been as careful as I should have if I hadn't seem that. Cloud_swift - thank you for your pictures. I love how your counters echo the shades in your pool. It looks so very pulled together. I also like how you brought the stone into your living side of the space. I do have a fireplace that will need something - right now it is large and brick. Maybe I can think about getting some of my stone over here. I guess it depends on what I pick how we could use it for that. I really appreciate you taking time to share this. (and I love the soap stone). LaurainLincoln- I really like your kitchen. I don't see me doing white this time because of my general furniture style and the space being open, but your white could almost convince me to give it a whirl. I do see that a more subtle shade has made the space seem bigger and more pulled together. I will be thinking of that while I am shopping for stone. I also really like the glass shelf in your cabinets. I have a set of glass cabinets that I am trying to figure out how to address. I am going to be marking it. Thank you all so very much. I do think Palimpsest, you hit the nail on the head - so many groutless options are very contemporary. My decorating style doesn't fall in line with that and since it is an open space, I have to be really careful about picking the right material. It is strange - I am not a contemporary furniture/decorator type, but I could totally love a very contemporary kitchen... strange, huh?

It's so hard to really know without pictures. What style are your cabinets? If they are very contemporary I think a black glass backsplash could look great (I'm actually envisioning a glass mosaic with the long skinny tiles in a variety of colors (black, white, gray, etc.). If your cabinets veer more toward traditional or transitional, I think I'd rather see something lighter that matches the cabinets.