You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police. ~ Joan Rivers

A young girl was attending her first wedding, watching the proceedings with interest for a while before growing restless. The groom stood at the altar as six bridesmaids walked slowly up the aisle, one by one.Soon, the girl leaned over to her mom and whispered, “Why doesn’t he just hurry up and pick one?”

SSusanwv

So there were these scientists studying a frog. They decided to teach the frog to jump on command. 'jump frog' they would say. He did. Then the team decided to expand the test. 'jump frog' they said. He jumped 16 feet! They removed one of his legs. 'jump frog' they said. He jumped 12 feet! A second leg was removed. 'jump frog'; he jumped 8 feet. A third leg removed. 'jump frog'. He jumped four feet. They removed his last leg. 'jump frog'. Nothing. 'jump frog' they commanded. Still nothing. Last chance. 'jump frog'. He doesn't move. Their conclusion? 'Frogs without legs can't hear.' science speaks [until you remove their legs?]