I found the following from This Website

You may have chances to visit a host or hostess. In this case, you should bring something as a gift to their house. Gift combos, coffee, tea, wines, cakes, baskets of fruits for the whole family. Chocolates, cakes, candies, toys or children’s books will make kids in the house happy. Read more about Top 10+ Host and Hostess Gifts in Vietnam.

NUMBER AND GIFT IN VIETNAM

Number 13 is not a good number in Vietnam. A basket containing 13 fruits is not a good gift in Vietnam.

Do not choose a gift containing 4 items. Number four is pronounced “bốn” or “tứ”, which is similar to “tử” which means dead in English. A set of 4 statues, a set of 4 cups are not good choices. A set of 1 teapot and 4 cups is a good idea.

HOW TO GIVE A GIFT IN A PROPER WAY IN VIETNAM

Do not put your gift on the floor but hand it to the receiver. If she/he can not receive it with her hands, you can put it on a table or chair.

After or before giving gifts, you can shake the receiver’s hand or hug him/her. You should not shake hands or hug a female receiver. Certainly, kissing or hugging your lover when you give them the gifts are acceptable.

Say something when you give them gifts.

Do not forget to smile when giving gifts.

Do not unwrap or ask the receiver to unwrap the gift right after giving is the gift is wrapped. However, if she/he is your close friend, lover, a family’s member, or a child you can ask them to do that.

I think I have been to just one dinner that a Vietnamese family helped prepare. There was wine, and they drank beer. Some of the food they had helped with was wonderful! Wish I had been there early enough in the day to watch some of the prep, I learn much faster watching someone prepare food than having it explained to me.

I think too that flowers are just about universally welcome and I did notice a couple of the family members seemed to be greatly enjoying a fruit tray that had more than one type melon and an assortment of different grapes.

This is helpful, thanks. They have an enormous flower garden, but my husband just reminded me that he smoked a bunch of sockeye yesterday, so we will take a plate of that, along with a bowl of our cherry tomatoes. I did google, but always feel more comfortable with people's personal experience. I will be able to observe what other guests do and be prepared for next time.

Would love to know how it went...what all you ate....

I'm a little late to this thread. My over-the-back-fence neighbors are Vietnamese. They drink beer and wine and generally eat what the rest of the neighbors eat. However, the dad is an ace fisherman and so they have a lot of freshly caught fish.

I have had several work friends over the years who were either of Vietnamese descent or immigrants. My experience has been they do not expect you to know their culture and are very happy to accept American style gratitudes such as a bottle of wine. They have a lot of French-style foods and traditions as they were under French rule for many years.

I'm wondering if it's appropriate (culturally or otherwise) to treat neighbors differently than other neighbors because of their ethnicity?

Obviously, if you know that they are non-drinkers you wouldn't bring wine, or if they were diabetics you probably wouldn't choose chocolate, etc.

Interesting thought, but I would say it is just a variation on being mindful of a recipient's preferences based on what you know of them, whatever that happens to be.

From my perspective, it demonstrates thoughtfulness and courtesy. It's not discriminatory or prejudice to be mindful of another culture. I could be viewing this differently, though.

Years ago, I stayed with a South Asian family overseas, and their kitchen staff prepared spaghetti with meat sauce for me for dinner one night. To them, it was a decidedly American dish, and certainly not in their cooking repertoire (they were vegetarian). I was honored by their consideration.

While I realize the intention here is to be thoughtful, some could argue that this comes off as "othering" people. Unless you have a concern about a dietary issue, like beef for Hindus, pork for Muslims, I would imagine the most welcoming gesture is one of inclusion.

How nice! If you're stumped, a nice bouquet of flowers is always a welcome gesture for any culture

When I read this earlier I immediately thought flowers because that is so very French influenced which their culture has been. But when you have smoked sockeye that would certainly blow the socks off of flowers. By now all has been decided but that would certainly be my choice because who else can supply smoked sockeye salmon? To die for an all.

Any gesture of kindness will do, wine, flowers, food ect...... I am sure they would not be offended either way.

I hadn't seen all the comments when I posted the recap last night but I just want to make it clear that our neighbourhood is diverse and inclusive and it was not my intention to "other" them, but merely to try not to unintnentionally offend them. I find the ways of other cultures fascinating and love learning about traditions and celebrations other than my own.

What fun. Lucky you!

nekotish, sounds like you have some fantastic new neighbors! And no, I wouldn't remotely guess that you were "othering" them - you were NOT. You were considerate, and that goes miles.

What Artemis said.