Nordstrom has a number of plus size dresses similar to what Ruby posted most recently.

I was also going to suggest a skirt and a top. It's such a flexible choice - depending on the fabric and style it can appear to be a dress or separates. It's also easier to find a top: tunic, sleeveless, twin set, etc. and you can play around with a belt or a sash to change the look.

Just want to say that you are a good soul, Annie, for helping your neighbor considering that things are a bit tough for you right now. Take it easy and I hope Mr. Annie is doing well. That said, I am plus size and have purchased mob dresses at Penney, Lord and Taylor and Macy's. Many stores still have a plus section although the selection isnt very wide .

Thanks satine for your kind thoughts.

I’m interested to see that people are suggesting long evening type dresses for guests at a wedding. Can you tell me when these are worn? Only the bride and bridesmaids would wear long here.

floral-uk, this is for the mother of the groom and this is for a Friday evening wedding.

?

So sorry, mdln, misdirected and I've fixed it now.

(It was early a.m. before coffee! My bad!)

Dillard's and Macy's have nice dresses. I would take a look at a place like DressBarn. They will be limited in selection, Sometimes they have elegant looking dresses for dressier occasions.

There's Macy's and then there's Macy's. One area mall is on the down and outs and the selection in that store looks more like scorched earth. The other area mall is in a more vibrant community and that Macy's looks just like they used to with all the merchandise and shoppers.

Oh geeze, I totally missed that she was the mother of the groom!! I thought SHE was getting married! So now you have the other issue of at least trying somewhat to coordinate with the MOB and the bridesmaids. At least not dramatically clash . . .

Is this really going to be a fancy do where everyone wears long dresses? Haven't been to one of those type weddings in 50 years or more. Not that I wouldn't love to attend one, but my social set is too money challenged to pull something like that off these days.

I checked with the bride. The invite says formal, but my understanding it was more of a message to contemporaries not to show up in shorts and flip flops. The groomsmen will be wearing suits, not tuxes. I asked if she wanted guests in long gowns and she said knee length or so would be fine. But I think members of the immediate family will be going floor length. The MoB is in a floor length gown.

That seems to be the norm. Most guest don’t opt for floor length.

Money-challenged also seems to be the norm these days. This couple is currently renting and hoping to save enough for a downpayment on a house in the area which will also be quite challenging.

Petite Plus is one of the most difficult for formal wear because you want to find a focal point to create shape, while managing to the occasion. And I think long dreses devour that body type.

Here are a couple examples I think can work.

https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/tadashi-shoji-plus-size-corded-lace-neoprene-dress-prod242640178?childItemId=NMT22X0_&navpath=cat000000_cat000001_cat78040731_cat000116_cat48580754&page=0&position=34

And, while I know there’s controversy wearing black, this is a fabulous silhouette. I would add a statement necklace amd evening bag with bling.

https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/mac-duggal-plus-size-long-sleeve-ruffle-hem-jersey-dress-prod239710055?childItemId=NMT1SKX_&navpath=cat000000_cat000001_cat78040731_cat000116_cat48580754&page=0&position=22

https://www.google.com/shopping/product/14406873800576780632?q=tadashi+shoji+plus+size&client=safari&channel=iphone_bm&biw=375&bih=553&tbs=cat:2271,vw:g,init_ar:SgVKAwjfEUoKUggIm-wuIPTwLkoKUggI-tY2IP3WNkoHsgQECO2oIA%3D%3D,ss:44&prmd=sinv&sxsrf=ALeKk02yVGQ16-W9XEOgNqCD2TwbrxxWwA:1625501688914&prds=eto:17920117396848628175_0,cdl:1,prmr:1,cs:1

I totally agree with 1929Spanish about focal point and shape-- for both plus size and petite. And i realize now why Annie's Azn selection wasn't sitting well.. that shape doesn't work well if you have a heavy middle/apple shape. I am pear shaped but developed a heavy middle in my 50s. That style would make me look dumpy.

Here's a style that worked very well for me-- still my favorite formal dress of all time. Not suggesting THIS dress but i think this style of skirt is worth considering.

This has similar lines in long length

(all below are from JS Collections web site.. a brand know to fit plus size women well.. and they have a summer sale + 20% off for the holiday)

I shared this one because you said this color would like nice on her:

It sounds like the MOB is going to be dazzling. Maybe just like with the First Lady and a VP's female spouse (everything's changed now!) at the inauguration, it's fine for the MOB to be the star (after the bride) and the MOG can be more subdued. Maybe wear tea length or shorter - esp if it flatters her figure more and it will open up her options.

Re colors, no black and no white for the MoG...one looks too mournful...the other says oedipus!

Considering how a long dress can devour a petite person, you might want to go with a skirt and matching top. That way you could do one print and one solid. My Mom was petite and that was one look that was good for her. Tea length with just a bit of ankle showing might work too, or something that definitely breaks up the body a bit if all one color. Something of interest either at the neck or waist . . . Looks like there are some great options out there!! My late mother was also petite and busty, hourglass. She could look stunning in the right combo but it wasn't always easy to find the right cuts in clothing for a petite person . . .

And I think long dresses devour that body type.

Exactly! why I suggested a shorter length, but I didn't come up with the words to explain why I thought something from calf to just above the ankle would be more flattering. Especially if she has ankles that should be shown off!

I really believe than a well fitting, flattering , tasteful and shorter dress will make every bit as much impact as the sequined floor length gown.

I like rubyclaire's suggestions best. A longer length will 'lengthen' her. The soft fabric will not wrinkle. doesn't need to be 'cut in two' by separates, and they will tend to pull apart as she moves. Long, loose, a shade that flatters her hair and complexion.

All the MOG has to do is smile and nod -- at the wedding...and pretty much forever!

annie, I read what you said about what it is expected that the guests and family members are expected to wear and I just can hardly believe that anyone would dictate what others should wear. It is easy to see how you would like for the guests to have the decency to dress appropriately.

But, to expect guests that are not part of the wedding to dress in any manner other than just one that respects the fact that they are attending your special affair and not going to the beach, is just almost unbelievable.

I have a sincere distaste for such formalities that surround weddings, and for weddings in general. But some do like it, obviously.

I noticed that the expectations were mainly for the women. Most men will just put on that tired old suit and tie. Most men will be dressed in something that is, at least, comfortable. The women, on the othe hand, will be wearing structured under garments, garments with reavealing slits, pushed up boobs and uncomfortable shoes. Then, because there are no pockets in these dresses, they wil be forced to carry around a decorated pouch to hold their phones, keys, etc.

As I get older there are fewer weddings that I get invited to attend. My own kids and their generation have passed that point of having weddings, so not many to come. That is fine with me. They all began to take on such sameness.

On the plus side, they do often amount to being a family reunion, of sorts. And that is welcomed.

Who knew that just buying a special occassion dress would be so complicated? It is one of those things that disappeared with not much notice. I have not seen formal wear in any store anywhere for a very long time. I have not seen many dresses in any store for a very long time and have, actually, not seen the inside of many department stores in a couple of years.

It used to be that department store windows would be graced with a display of such that reflected the social season. All of that is gone.

I thought that Dillards brick and mortar stores were all shuttered. It looks like they are online now. A google search turns up a few still listed in far between and few locations. And, that might be old information. The website offers no "find your store" option.

Dressbarn has also shuttered the store fronts and appears to be online only.

So, how does one try different things but to order and have to ship it all back?

No, thanks.

Many offer free returns.

I find for fancy occasion dresses, you just have much more to choose from online.

If you choose the right vendor, shipping back is a breeze. You don't even have to pack it up. You take it to UPS, and show them a QR code, and waltz on out. Often, it is free.

Wednesday Morning..

I dunno. I think if you are open to a shift from old ways of shopping, you will find it is MUCH easier to buy online/return what doesn't work. Many places have free shipping/returns.. and some make it easier/faster than making your morning toast! With Nordstrom, you put the item back in the box it was shipped in-- and they provide the label. You can leave it outside your door/on your porch for USPS to pick up.

Not only can you try it on in the privacy of your home.. you can try various underthings/shoes/makeup looks/hairstyles. You can even take it to your tailor/seamstress to get their input/options.

PLUS stores haven't been stocking much in the brick and mortars for years. It's not just a pandemic thing. It started 10 or more yr ago. Especially for formal wear.

Funky, that goes for petites as well. I would not have a wardrobe if I didn't shop online.

You get used to know sizing, but so etimes it can be tricky.

LOL. i know i have been talking about plus sizes.. but "plus" above meant "also".. they are not stocking lots for any sizes.. regular, plus, petites. I am not saying the stores are empty-- but the variety is greatly reduced. Just browse a site.. I know I sure see lots of items marked "online only"

it is beautiful-- and a figure flattering shape. So glad she found something she loves with plenty of time for alterations!

Very pretty dress! I know she’s happy to have one less thing to worry about.

I’m not familiar with JJs House, will have to remeber for future needs.

What a serendipitous error ! the dress is stunning .

Very pretty!

Lovely dress, and what a fortunate accident!

I love that dress!

Very pretty! Loving her outfit will make the occassion even more enjoyable.

Yes the dress does look fine on the model

But, as to online shopping, just look at this one incident where it turned out OK, but the dress did not fit because she could not try it on first, and it was the wrong one. Now she has to go to the added bother to have someone alter it for her. What a lot of effort!

I cant be bothered sending things back and forth and I dont buy anything until I know that I like the fit and the fabric and the style. You cant tell that from any online source.

I simply cannot buy clothing online.

Mens clothes may be a bit different given that mens clothes dont have as much variation of cutting, sewing and decorations and have standard sizing of the ususal variety

Womens clothes have untold number of variables of lengths, necklines, seams, frills, seaming, crotch depth, leg length,etc. Ordering by size has absolutely no meaning for me, at all.

What a lot of fossil fuel used to schlep all of those packages back and forth. I can . hardly imagine doing that.

I am glad that I can sew and can still sew some basics, mostly linen.

I really dont understand how any but those few who have no fitting issues can order online.

I could not be bothered with all of that back and forth of shipping. You know that you do pay for that, right? Nothing is free really.

wednesday morning, I hear what you're saying, but in this case, she would need it altered anyway as she does not have an "off the rack" body size or shape. What really helped for her was that this site has a lot of very nice dresses to choose from and they have a lot in plus sizes which she needed. No in-person store could possibly have such a selection on hand for her to try. Unfortunately, these days, as much as I'd prefer to go to a store and try it on, sometimes, the only way to get the item is through the mail. Frankly, the way some retail stores are suffering, even going to the store is not what it used to be with sparse inventory.

That dress is lovely and yes what a happy accident that they send the wrong one ( and she was open minded enough to try it).

I too don't do online shopping for regular clothing because I am so between sizes and never quite sure, but for formal wear, this is really necessary and has been for a while. The stores just don't have the stock at each of their locations. In store A they might have size 10 but no 8 or 14; or they might have green but not blue in size 12.

When my daughter got married 7 years ago, way back, I did go to stores initially and saw that even the ones with formal wear departments just did not have much in stock to try on. Even back then. So I did order from Nordstrom and I think Macy's and Lord and Taylor ( rest in peace). Maybe in total it was like 15 dresses; and some I ordered in 2 sizes.

There were a few that I sent back, and most I did return to local stores ( which would in turn send it back to a centralized location- very rarely was the online purchase put back in stock and the brick and mortar).

I agree too that one of the benefits is to be able to try on with various undergarments and heel hights.

I ended up still bringing the winner for some alterations to really tweak the fit. I don't normally get clothing altered but for mother of the bride I wanted it to fit 100%.

Annie, what you say is so true for me. I would love to get my entire wardrobe from the store, rather that online. But, the selection is not there.

Here is my fantasy: A store that has all the items in all sizes and colors that you then have to order.

OH, that dress is gorgeous! I have one very similar, but navy blue, in a size 12, if anyone should need it. I bought it in the fall of 2019, from Neiman’s, for an event in the summer of 2020…..oops.

eld I agree! I've often thought that there should be catalog stores where they have one of each in each size in the store for everyone to try on with swatches to show the various colors and textures as options. Once you determine if you like it or not, then you can order what you want and have it sent home.

Beautiful dress! Sometimes it is to your advantage to have something custom fitted to your shape/size.

I'm with you AD. That would solve the modern problems of merchandising and inventory. And if an item gets a certain amount of wear and tear it could be sold on the "used" market. I'm wondering if such stores will ever emerge, seems like a good idea. I'm fascinated by that "eShakti" site I linked to that let's you customize their styles. I have yet to order from them and the dresses are not being made in the US. https://www.eshakti.com/

That dress is gorgeous. Your friend is lucky that she knows of a seamstress that can do alterations. Growing up we had a neighbor who did that and we used her a lot. But so far I haven't been able to find anyone locally. It's a great way to make money working from home if you have the skills. Good seamstress skills are becoming rare. My mom made all her own clothes in her youth, many exquisitely tailored. I always wanted to learn but the mechanics of the sewing machine stymied me.

The tailor is an older woman who worked for many years for a fancy department store in our area that is now gone. So she's very skilled at what she does.

annie, you are right about the meger selection in the department stores at the moment.

I saw that when I went to buy my 9 year old grandson a few new garments, at Kohls.

I swear that there were no more than about six racks or shelves of anything, at all in that section. And, most of it was the same old, same old stuff on every one of them. All of it was awful synthetic stuff.

I walked out empty handed and havent been back to Kohls since.

The womens clohtes were just as limited and just as awful.

Online purchasing is becoming more necessary when the stores are declining so very much. With online ordering you never know what it feels like, or where any element is going to rest on your figure. I simply cannot do it or be bothered with all of that shipping back and forth.

So glad that I can sew, although about the only thing that I can find to sew with anymore is linen that I do order online. The quality of this vendor is consistent and reliable and there are no fitting issues involved with the ordering.

I am convinced that many of these fashion photos are altered to make the models legs look so absurdly long! I have seen some that are so exaggerated that it is almost laughable.

Shopping for just about anything has become a chore.

Wednesday, I am wondering if the slump is due to Covid. Everything got backed up so I am sure production did too.

Annie I'm curious - have you seen the dress and what did you think of the quality? The price was so reasonable that I wondered if it were well made.

That dress does look stunning and I've saved the website. As so many have already said I'd rather shop in a store and try the item on and check the fabric and finish. Unfortunately that's much harder than it used to be. Even ordering from a Bridal Store can take 6 months and may still be the wrong size etc.

maire, I've not seen the dress but she seems happy with it and it came in just a couple of weeks, IIRC. Before I sent her to the website, I did check it out on line as there were a lot of people thinking the same thing...that's it's one of those bogus sites. But the place has been around for years and it had a lot of good reviews so it looked legit. Certainly their selection of dresses is wonderful, especially for someone like my friend who is plus sized.

Thanks Annie. I'm so glad that your neighbor loves the dress. When DS married I ended up ordering a dress from the bridal shop owned by a relative of my future DDIL. The dress was fine and everyone liked it but I wasn't happy spending that kind of money on a 'wear once' item. I was pressured to order something 5 months before the wedding to make sure it arrived in time and to allow for alterations. Plus I was scheduled for double knee replacement and knew I wouldn't be able to drive or shop for 6 weeks after surgery. But it just seemed to me that for that $ alterations should be included. If I knew a seamstress I would have loved to have a dress made.

If either of my other two marry I'll wear something less formal. My ideal would be a tea length dress or a floor length but one that doesn't look like a 'gown.'

.