I'm contemplating soft gray or greige cabinets, but none of my inspiration pics have soapstone countertops. They are all low-contrast. The second-to-last kitchen posted by Boxerpups is one of my favorites. I also love the 12th one with the clock above the impressive range. These cabinets are Martha Stewart sharkey gray:

I'm a messy cook too, and prefer a continous counter b/w the sink and the range. But in your case, a galley may be preferred, because it would give you bigger cabs, which I believe can be less expensive than a number of smaller/irregular sized cabinets or even if not cheaper, give you cabs that can be used more easily. Maybe it's not possible to have all drawers due to budget constraints, but you can have rollouts(or add them when budget permits) and it would be much better than dealing with tiny cabs with shelves or susan(s) in a tight corner. How are these? The coffee machine and toaster can be stored on a shelf when not in use and you'll have more counter when you're prepping a meal.

I had this set-up in a rental house years and years ago ... though the dishwasher was closer to the corner (imagine the drawer unit flip-flopped with the dishwasher). Admittedly, I was just out of college and was simply thrilled to have a dishwasher ... but I never once considered it a problem. I don't think the dishwasher is a problem here; rather, the thing to question is, do you have drawers under your peninsula? In this set-up, you'd be okay: you have drawers for your silverware -- you could easily move silverware from the dishwasher to the drawer ... and you could pass silverware over to the eating area. Ditto for prep items such as knives, etc. I would NOT want this layout with the dishwasher only /no drawers. I think a small kitchen is fine -- as long as you have a big adjacent pantry. In this picture, I think the question becomes, does the dishwasher open without hitting the adjacent cabinet hardware ... and does the open dishwasher door prevent you from putting things away in the cabinets? The fixture should be centered on table. Has nothing to do with window I think both matter. The light fixture should be centered on BOTH the table AND the window. It'd drive me crazy otherwise.

I would definitely remove the pantry and the peninsula, and maybe paint out all the red. Then leave the rest until you have lived in the house 6 months to a yr, so you actually know what works for you and what doesnt. Anything else that you would do now, may be something you will hate in 6 months to a yr.