Help for my son's first home...paint color
wcdoran
2 years ago
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wcdoran
2 years agohousegal200
2 years agolast modified: 2 years agoRelated Discussions
My son started his first job.
Comments (14)Kudos to all our sons as they evolve into wonderful men. Terri, your son has a case of shyness, mine too. Yes, he needs to go in or follow up with a phone call so they can see the handsome wholesome fellow in person. If his name is difficult to decipher maybe he can include a pronunciation guide parenthetically. My maiden name wasn't hard but everyone got it wrong. Meinhart (mine-heart) Something like that, maybe. Sharon I SO wanted to take a photo of my handsome son in his "fancy" clothes, as he puts it. I decided it might be over the top after the fingernail inspection and gum extraction. ;) Thankfully neither of my children are inclined to piercings or tattoos. Daniel loathes pain. Alice begged for months for a navel piercing. I finally relented after 6 months. It still gives me the willies! I wrote a tongue-in-cheek essay about the experience. Advanced Parenting My 15 year old daughter has been pestering me for months to let her get her navel pierced. When it first came up my response was cautionary: I Googled infected pierced navel images to share. "Come here, Alice, look at this gooey one!" "Ew!" I thought it might be a passing notion and best to wait a while and see if she was still hot for a bellybutton ring in a few months. Her best friend, Kaitlyn wants one, too. My thought was that this was a good best friend tandem activity. But her mom is firmly opposed. I called the other mom to discuss letting the girls go together. Nope. Odd, because her older daughter has a pierced nostril. I'm still scratching my head at that double standard. Every few days the subject comes up. "Mom, can I get my bellybutton pierced?" "Sure, honey, when Kaitlyn's mom says she can..." "Mom!" In truth, I'm not all that bothered by the navel ring thing. I'm far more opposed to facial piercing. I'm not concerned about what other people do but I believe my daughter's face is perfection just the way it is. I knew eventually she would wear me down. I wanted her to be certain of the decision. It happened yesterday. We went for a walk together and passed the downtown tattoo/smoke/body piercing joint which was surprisingly open on Sunday. With mock hope she pointed out the store, "Look, Mom, they're open! I can get my bellybutton pierced!" To her astonishment I said, "Okay, go in and see what it costs." My stunned child jumped on the opportunity and in we went. The cost was within reach of the cash in my pocket. The clerk/piercing dude thought we were doing it together. Uh, no. My wobbly post natal navel shall remain intact. Ouchie. I remarked that a search party would have to be sent to recover it first. Thirty bucks, a wince, and a few drops of blood later my kid admired her bejeweled umbilicus in the full length mirror. "Oh, it's so pretty!" As I reflected later on this odd mother-daughter bonding moment I realized that after a fashion we paid homage to our connection. This bit of midriff sparkle adorns the point at which we were once joined. Aw, gee....See MoreMy son, my ex and my son's taxes
Comments (18)oh, definitely--have the son put a freeze on his credit w/ the credit unions, in case dad tries to take out a loan or credit card. (is it possible that dad doesn't realize the son will not get his refund bcs of this? Maybe dad thought the only party affected would be the U.S. govt? And so dad didn't think he was actually stealing from his own kid?) And help your son figure out what he'd need to prove that he is not his dad's dependent: -rent receipts and utility bills from the entire year, to prove that he paid for his own roof -ATM-card records to show that he bought groceries often from a grocery store near his home, to prove that he paid for his own food -pay stubs, other work documentation to prove that he was occupied full-time and therefore not a student If he doesn't have any of these things, he can substitute letters (notarized!) from the appropriate people--landlord, boss, roommate. "Junior was a full-/part-time employee who worked X hours a week, from Start Date to December 31, 2006"--especially if he doesn't have pay stubs w/ hours worked, etc. Also to prove he wasn't a student. Have him put it in a folder, and label it, etc., and find a place to keep it so that he'll find it when he needs it. (I keep all receipts, etc., from every tax return in a folder w/ the return itself--just in case) Another thing perhaps, to help w/ the immediate crisis, is for someone who could be a go-between (paternal uncle? paternal grandma? you?) to call the dad and tell him he needs to give his son some money to make up for the fact that he has stolen his kid's tax refund. I know you're using the term "adult" lightly, and in this situation, you *should* use it lightly. Things like this are hard for kids to learn while they're still "kids" and being taught by their parents. This sort of grownup-finances stuff is why parents' work isn't done just because a kid turns 18. This could be a good lesson for him in how to prepare documentation for court, in how to keep records of finances, etc. (all the best lessons hurt, unfort.) I wonder if your son could take him to small-claims court for the amount of the refund? print out the reply from the IRS, ask his brother to testify to the conversation? The ideal would be if he could get his hands on his dad's tax return; I don't think you can subpoena documentation for small-claims court....See Moremeeting my biological son for the first time.
Comments (13)Just wanting yall to know reading this has gave me courage. I recently met my 18 year old son for the first time. Also, in tears because he described how his Mother and her boyfriend had abused him. All started off great. He called me asking for help, he was going to be homeless. Not being financialy stable myself....didnt matter. I went and took out a loan so i could buy him, his girlfriend, and my new grandbaby across America with minutes notice. My son is a little taller, and bigger around then me, but otherwise, we look like twins. I arranged for him to have a home, since my apt isnt very big, and arranged for him to get a job. Like I said all started perfect. Soon I begin to notice that other family members trying to help him are calling me complaining that he was rude to them. So, i took it upon myself to readvise him in the ways this side of his family treats each other. He blew up at me completely saying many hurtful things. Which spurred me to say a few things myself that I will forever regret. I havent given up on him. I never will. I just need to find a different way to build his confidence. While doing so I need to protect my new family. My parents are in their 80s, and my new Son is 4, so it is tough. Seems everyone has a set plan as to how we should progress this relationship, but no one has the patience. So before any more feelings are hurt I gave him some space to think. Ultimately, I think I figured out that things will be great, even if scary at first. I plan to take him fishing in 2 days. Just me and him if i can convince him to leave his family behind for a few hours. I have told him how proud I was of him for knowing better then to follow in his moms footsteps. Since his brother is only 4, we share alot of the same fears. I tell him everyday I love him, and I`ll always be there for him when he needs emotional support. To be completely honest though. I have never been so terrified in all my life, scared I`ll say something stupid. Anyways. It always feels better knowing then spend even more years wondering. Going on day 6 of no sleep over this though. It`s tough because I was adopted. I met my Bio Dad, he hated my life, and got arrested driving home, because he stopped at a bar down the street. I may never talk to my dad again, but at least I know now why. Atleast I felt better knowing I had the choice, but decided to protect my family from him....See MoreDoes my BF’s son come first over my family for Christmas?
Comments (8)Your boyfriend should put the NEEDS of his child first. But, what he's telling you is that he's going to put his child's WANTS first. A child's wants do not need to always come first and, in fact, they shouldn't. Your wants are just as intrinsically valid as those of your boyfriend's child, but your boyfriend is telling you that they aren't, probably to get what he wants. He'll continue to treat you this way in the future. If you continue on in a relationship where your wants and maybe even your needs are always going to come second to a child's WANTS (with a man who will also try to get his way by saying it's what his child wants)...this does not bode well for you and for the relationship. The needs of children need to come first. Not their wants. Having said all that...you're not married to this man. I don't think boyfriend/girlfriend relationships should disrupt anyone's Christmas plans. I think you should spend Christmas with your family and he should spend it with his, until you're at least engaged. Why should a child have to spend Christmas without his family because his dad has a girlfriend?...See Morewcdoran
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