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Difficult Conversations; Difficult Decisions

bbstx
2 years ago

My husband died 2 days ago. This is a plea for you to have the difficult conversation with your spouse/partner so when you have to make difficult decisions, you are prepared.


I heard DH fall in the bathroom in the early hours. When the ambulance arrived, he was pulseless but still had electrical activity in his heart and he wasn’t breathing. The EMT asked if I knew his “code wishes.” No, I didn’t. I had his healthcare power of attorney and I knew what his end of life wishes were in that, but those covered events that you would encounter in a hospital. Standing in my kitchen, I had no idea what he would wish in that moment. I allowed them to resuscitate him. He lingered in the hospital in a vegetative state for a week.


I so wish we had talked about what to do in situations such as this. I am strong; I am tough; I can do what needs to be done. But not knowing his wishes, left me second guessing myself.

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