No. I would say something to a close friend but not a stranger. I agree with the etiquette advice. No need to embarrass someone over something they can't easily fix. Some years back a lot of older women were into a brand called Chicos? Anyway the pants were loose and stretchy. Heavier set women were especially fond of them. The problem was that the fabric went completely sheer if they bent over. Nothing like being a a Red Hat Society event and seeing a whole row of extra large white granny panties under sheer purple fabric. So it's not just young women wearing too tight. It's people in general who never think to check the back view.

I never buy legging, breeches or riding tights without taking my fist and testing the opaqueness at maximum stretch.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about how I hate shopping for new jeans and I'm glad I saved some of my smaller sizes since I have lost weight. I said pocket placement was important to me because I hate the pockets they cut at the crease and give that flat saggy look and I'd been trying on my old jeans. She remarked that she would have to check her jeans and pants fit now since it never occurred to her to look back there. Never in 74 years has she checked her rear view regarding her wardrobe. More common than you'd think I guess.

"She didn't look like the kind of person who *wanted* that look." You have no way of knowing what she wanted to look like!! You KNOW she purchased those "pants". You KNOW she chose to wear them. You KNOW she chose a shorter not longer top. Walk away, soooo not your place/business to comment.

I see there's a consistency in answers so far...still my 'antenna' said she'd want to know and I'd be doing a favor to tell her.

I guess as I'm getting older, I'm getting more "Sophia-like" from the Golden Girls where the filter is dropping and I'm more apt to say something.

No, I wouldn't have said anything unless it was a good friend.

Leggings are thick enough to not see through and aren't skin tight. Skin tight and sheer - those are panty hose. I've seen way to many women at the gym wearing panty hose and they are not flattering (or appropriate) to any body type.

At first, I would think that those leggings had to be an accident. She couldn't possibly know how they looked from the back. But I think she did know and chose to wear them. I would not say anything.

No they were definitely leggings as they had patterns of sheer and less sheer areas in the fabric...just what manufacturer in their right mind would put the sheer right across the back!

Just keep walking. Sheer patches and holes are in style so it's not a mistake like food stuck in your teeth, or an unzipped zipper, etc. A mis-judgement perhaps, but not a mistake.

I don't say anything when I see it. But I do have the bad habit of busting out laughing when I see it. It's not that much different than when I was a kid and spandex was the trend, the joke then was spandex is a privilege, not a right. Some of the yoga pants I see are just as bad as sheer leggings.

I tend to be unable to restrain my mirth when I see people wearing their pajamas in public too.

I guess part of me is, if I wore something that I didn't know was revealing something I'd rather not I'd hope someone would let me know. Y'know, not having any daughters and as my Mom is long gone, there's no one to say, "You're wearing that!?!"

I witnessed someone at the gas pump with no bra and a tank with armholes cut down to her waist. In other words, everything was on display. The guy was pumping the gas but she repeatedly got out of the car to open the trunk, to open the back doors, etc. Since it was a Costco gas line I was there for a while. I came to the conclusion that she wanted everything exposed. Maybe this lady was the same.

My mama tole me "If you have nothin' nice to say, then say nothin'." Plain and simple. Now....you can THINK silently whatever ya want. ♥ Peace. Out.

Well "fashion" has changed since I was young. What some women wear now-a-days would have been considered indecent back then. Look at bathing suits that are little more than dental floss in the back. We would never! We might have been arrested. There are now actresses and reality stars who whine and cry about people making fun of their nude bodies. Well, honey, put some clothes on and that wouldn't happen.

Yes. I hear it. I sound very old.

I wouldn't consider saying anything to a stranger.

I would not. I hope a family member or close friend might clue her in. Maybe her toddler will say something. They often say what they see. “ Mommy, I can see your bootie!”

When leggings first became popular our schools sent home a notice saying please be sure your pants are not see-through.

I think you made a good decision. While I would appreciate a kind stranger's words, so many don't. If someone is in danger for some reason, I would speak up. Otherwise, let it be.

Lucille, you are too much!! :-)

Very funny Lars!

It's not a matter of "nothing nice to say"...I wasn't thinking of being unkind...rather I was trying to save her from embarrassing herself if that wasn't what she intended. From the rest of her, it didn't look like a "fashion statement" was on her mind at all...rather a harried mother trying to be comfortable and unaware of her bottom line...

I think she knew what they looked like when she put them on. After all she purchased them. It might not even be the first time she wore them in public.

Some people just dress like that.

Maybe she just doesn't care? I mean - it's simply a human body. Why anyone should worry about people "seeing" things is beyond my comprehension.

Some cultures are offended by seeing women's knees or collar bones. Some are offended by seeing women's hair. We, as a society, have been conditioned to believe that seeing someone's butt or boob is a horrifying thing, but they're just body parts. I don't worry about what others dress like. If they're comfortable in a g-string or a burka, it's up to them.

And did you notice, it's just women's bodies that are the subject of the taboos mentioned here?

No...you did the right thing by abstaining from commenting.

A woman shopping with a baby has enough on her plate without worrying about her appearance.

No, its best not to say anything. They DO know what they are doing. I was just at a relatives wedding and the photographer (a young girl 20-30's and over weight) had on skin tight flesh tone leggings and a sleeveless open back shirt that showed all her bra straps. She looked disgusting ! She knew how she was dressed, I guess its a thing these days. I think they must thing it looks sexy or something.

in today's climate, i would not say a word! you could be verbally berated or worse...

in a normal climate, i still would not say a word.. not my business and the person more than likely does not care...

Your good intentions are noted AnnieD. Maybe a case of a frenetic mom grabbing something old to wear and it didn’t fit like it used to.

Yes, that was the right thing to do -- not to say anything. Hopefully she had some choices as to what clothes to put on that day, and that's what she chose. Very few people choose to dress in unflattering ways -- I'd guess 99% of people getting dressed in the morning, choose what they do, for a reason. It might not be the reason we'd choose, but a reason nonetheless. And to comment that the pants were not flattering or were see-through -- I can't imagine that poor woman would feel anything other than bad. On the spot, her other options are not good. And, if she didn't have other choices of what to wear -- that's really a different challenge.

I agree with advice with which you ended it. She couldn't have done anything but been embarrassed, so no thanks!

Take heart, America. The skin tight leggings are soon to become yesterdays fashion, and it could not come soon enough. Maybe we will be seeing less undulating flesh floating around. under a thin spandex fabric. A colorful friend described it as two hogs wresting around in a tow sack. Except a tow sack would be a thicker fabric and probably a better choice.

I see some of these women who wear the most gawd awful stuff and I cannot be convinced that it is comfortable. There are many things that are much more comfortable to wear and much less revealing of what may be best kept to yourself. I think that some of these women are not really aware of how they look and might be embarrased if they actually took an honest assessment of what the public is seeing.

I have seen those where you can actually see the print on the panties right through the fabric.

It is not that we should be shocked that people are wearing panties or have undulating fleshy thighs and backsides. But these women might as well be naked. They would never walk out the door naked, but they might as well with some of these things that they wear.

Yes, you should wear whatever you want to wear, but you wont go unnoticed. It is your right and privilege to wear whatever you choose.

I remember shopping prepandemic and I had picked up and looked at a knit dress. It was in my size range but still a bit tight fitting in the wrong places, so I put it back. A woman came from behind me an picked it up, looked at it and declared that it fit and was what she wanted. She was much larger than me and that dress would have to stretch as thin and tight as possible to get it on her body. She even held it up and stretched it out to see. And, yes, the dress was for her and not her slimmer sister. She was going ot look like a badly filled sausage casing in it. I guess that is what she wants to look like.

I am beyond thrilled to see loose pants come back. What insanity all of those leggings have been! Unless you are actually headed to do yoga, why do we call them "yoga pants"?

I always said that those leggings worn like that are hot in the summer and cold in the winter...supremely uncomfortable in any weather. Good riddance!!

One problem is that so many of the fabrics anymore are knits and they are synthetic fibers with lycra. That fabric does not lend well to a loose pair of pants. Loose style is better with a woven.

I agree it is best not to offer comment or judgement to a stranger. You need a much broader base of relationship with the person to do that....only those that you are close to.

Perhaps if I saw her panties through the sheer would've been one thing, but it was flesh....she was going commando.

I have seen so many women wearing things that are unflattering that I can't help but believe that they don't care, don't know, dress out of habit...what worked for them when they were different sizes or ages, dress like their daughters do, don't own a full-length mirror, or focus so on comfort that the rest goes out the window.

Especially for women who have trouble with their weight, especially during the pandemic, spandex is their friend in terms of fit, but not necessarily in terms of look.

littlespaces, you dont see any but women wearing this kind of thing and you are right that folks have the freedom to dress as they please. You are also right in that it is mostly women who are held to these standards. However, men also will be judged by how they present themselves to the world. It makes a statement about you and defines the person others see when they look at you. Most of us do have some care about how others perceive us. Our clothes make a statement about us. We are free to express who we are, but not free from judgment as to those choices.

It is not a matter of being offended or seeing a butt or seeing the panties, or any of that. It is not about anyone being offended. It is more about how a person chooses to present themselves to the world. As much as one might want to discount the opinions and judgment of others, how a person presents themselves to the world does make a difference in how one is perceived and in many instances does reflect our own sense of self worth, or lack of it.

It is not at all about being offended. It is all about what you tell the world about you and the major portion of your fellow humans will know nothing more about you than what they can see. How you are seen by others can have a profound impact on your own personal success and happiness and perception of your own self worth.

That is a notion tied up very nicely with the confident and pleasure that many women feel about having the opportunity to dress up and "feel good "about themselves. It can be very relevant to our idea of self worth. If one values their self worth so little as to allow strangers to have visual access to their private space, so be it.

Choosing to go out in public as some of these legging wearing women do is about tantamount to going out sporting plumbers crack . That man, usually, who is walking around with the crack of his butt showing is likely to be harshly judged. Some women are wearing those things that do ride up into where the sun doesn't shine.

Well, there's no accounting for taste, even among the professionals....

Annie, I can see his knees through those sheer stockings! LOL!

Is he dressed for success?

In this case, maybe he is.

These fashion shows are completely unreal.

Annie, since you have come to talk about this here, I think that it really struck a cord in you.

DH and I have our private joke when we see something similar. We look at each other, and one of us will say, “Didn’t she look at herself from the back?” Most people will not think to check all angles.

In the case of this woman, I believe If she did check herself, she would not have seen what you saw outside.

What to do, moving forward? Assess the situation, Would it be terrible to say, “ Excuse me, but my motherly instinct in kicking in, I don’t know if you realize how revealing your leggings are from the back, out here in the day light? So,sorry if I am over stepping. Have a good day.”

And, keep walking, no need to continue the conversation.

Yes, we are all worried about the crazies out there, but somehow I’m thinking this woman, living in Annie’s town might have appreciated the feedback.

It's funny. I was talking to a friend about it and mentioned "what not to wear"...the show where they would ambush people about their wardrobes. All of them were nominated by their friends/family/co-workers. Some were delighted, some knew they had an issue and didn't know how to fix it. Some didn't realize how bad it was but were open to change. There were those who never realized how they came across, how their clothing was a turnoff or damaging their careers, and a surprising number who didn't own a full-length mirror and never checked themselves from the back.

And then there were those who were horrified and wanted nothing to do with it, at first anyway. And of course, the ones who weren't open to it at all never aired. But in addition to the humiliation of being called out for what they were wearing, they were getting compensated with a week in NYC, $5000 toward a new wardrobe and a head-to-toe makeover with hair, make up, mani-pedi, and professional wardrobe consultants.

What was I offering to this gal in return for potentially humiliating and embarrassing her? Not much. And what did I know about what was going on her life, what struggles she faced or what suffering? Nothing. So I agree that saying nothing was the right choice.

I loved watching Trinny and Susannah, the original British presenters (had to look up their names). I even bought their book! It gave me confidence when choosing clothes for my body type, that there was some chance of them flattering even imperfect me. I loved the American version too, they were so good at new work or nice-casual wardrobe ... but what about gardening or working or even lounging around the house? No way I'd let them throw out all my old shorts and tshirts.

I really enjoyed watching the show. And some of these (mostly) gals were so badly dressed it was incredible...one church choir ordered robes as the one gal dressed so badly and they wanted to cover it up...one firm instituted a dress code because the gal was so badly dressed and had been sent home to change because of what she was wearing...one applied for a job as an exotic dancer and they told her what she was wearing then, including a raccoon tail pinned to the back of her jeans, was perfect...one started wearing fairy wings for a costume party and continued doing so on a regular basis.

sweet betsy, I wonder if that was photo-shopped. Oh my!

I was at the eye doctor once, standing at the counter paying my bill when a lady came up to me and quietly said "There is a sticker on the leg of your jeans". You know, the strip of tape that gives color, and SIZE in big letters halfway down you leg? Yeah, a women's plus size. geeze.

I appreciated her telling me and laughed as I removed it but still was embarrassed.

At one time you could purchase those leggings that made you look like you did not have anything on so not photoshopped just a up yours I will wear what I want.

ugh.

One time when I was still working I'd walked down the hall to the restroom. A woman I didn't know was exiting the restroom. She apparently worked in the next bay over. She was quite large, and when she turned to walk down the hall, the bottom of her skirt was tucked into her panties, and she had toilet paper attached to her. I thought, "OMG, she's going to be embarrassed if she walks into her work group like that," so I said "excuse me," and she turned around. I walked up to her, and quietly told her, and she reached around and felt it for herself. She was so thankful. She kept thanking me for saving her from embarrassment.

And then another time, I had my own fashion faux pas. I sat next to a guy named Dave that I really liked, and he and I would banter back and forth. I was wearing a blouse where the material on the inside looked like the outside. I must have been in a hurry that morning when I got dressed, and somehow put the blouse on - inside out. Took a look at myself before I left the house, and went to work. About an hour into the day, Dave scooted over in his chair and whispered, "hey, you have your blouse on inside out." I was like "WHAT?!? I felt the back, and felt the tag on the outside. I got up and walked really quickly down the hall and corrected it. When I came back, I thanked Dave over and over for alerting me, and saving me from embarrasment. It didn't bother me that he told me - I actually wasn't embarrassed by him, and we laughed about it. It became our running joke. I learned that when I wore that blouse to check the tag. Whenever I would wear it, Dave would laugh.

I did not tell when the opportunity came walking towards me with a long trailing piece of toilet paper stuck in the waistband of her skirt and many people turning and laughing.

I pictured myself swooping in and stepping on said tissue but she exited into the stairwell and the door closed on my opportunity.

That's why I I wish there were trifold mirrors in all washrooms...

I always found that show mean. For the most part, people should be allowed to look how they want. Even the leggings woman. Imagine being ambushed on TV and told that your family and "friends" felt it necessary to have an intervention in front of the whole world because they didn't like your style because it didn't match theirs. I also got mad at the makeover part. If the woman had short hair they would glue extensions in, because short hair looked "frumpy" and aged her. If she had long hair they hacked it off ruthlessly because it looked "unkempt" and she needed to look her age, whatever that means. It was always colored some outrageous way that would be expensive and tedious to maintain, because natural anything is ugly and unsuitable. And if she was happy with her face as is, they insisted that no, she must paint on someone else's face over hers. And they always looked uncomfortable after. To be told you are ugly and dress badly by people you love. Nice.

As long as we're telling stories. My BF once was outside talking to a male friend when she decided she was too warm and took off her shirt. She soon discovered that she wasn't wearing the sports bra she thought she was. It was her normal bra. I don't remember if she put her shirt back on right away but she told me "I wonder what he was thinking when I whipped that shirt off and was talking to him with just my bra on". LOL

I do remember the time I was giving a talk and one fellow in the front row kept staring at my belly just above my navel. Took me awhile to realize my button up blouse had gaped. Fortunately it wasn't at the bra line. I adjusted and he stopped staring. It was the last time I wore a button front shirt to a talk without a long scarf.

Too much time wasted on things that really aren't going to matter in the scheme of life.

well, thankfully most things like that won't matter in the grand scheme, but sheesh, when it happens...it sure can be embarrassing! That was me walking out of the airport bathroom and down the concourse with a trailer of TP dragging along behind me. When I got back to where we were waiting, my sister instantly informed me. But...I'd had to walk quite a ways like that!!!! Totally horrified! (and yes, thankful it was something I could fix).

I was re-entering a cruise ship a few years ago when a security person checking people in pulled me off to the side. She pointed out that my top was partly unbuttoned, caused by my heavy shoulder bag. Yikes! I don't know how long the buttons had been undone, but no one had mentioned it until then, so I hoped not too long.