How often do you have company? For the time being, could you not just remove the leaf? It should still seat your family of 6. I have a 60" square table (with the leaf in) that seats 8. In our last house it fit fine in the kitchen, but in our current house, the kitchen is smaller. I just removed the center leaf and made it into a rectangle (I store the 2 extra chairs and the leaf in the basement). It still seats 6 and I don't have to reach so far across to wipe the top. But, if you are set on reno, I would remove the wall and that desk (it's pretty large). Then move the pantry over to the other doorway. (I would not close off that entrance, if anything I might increase it's size a little). This should gain 3' - 3'.5. Not to be bi*chy, but, I think you should paint those lower cabinets white also. Those dark lower cabinets suck the light out. I feel lighter lowers would help to "open" that space too. When we moved in here, our cabinets were golden oak (personal preference, I don't care for golden oak). I painted uppers and lowers white. It brightened up the room and made it appear larger.

Okay, now that you've explained all that, I think I understand. I live in a open plan and everyone still crowds into the kitchen! I am a believer that function comes first and form should follow. You'll end up with a hybrid look, but it will be better for living I am sure. I was also thinking how nice it is that the sink and DW will be right there. We have a similar set-up from the patio, we can pass dishes through a sliding window right onto the sink deck. It's great. Getting back to your original questions...I don't know a lot about soapstone, but I think if you can find a "clean" one it will be okay. You mean for in the kitchen, right? I was thinking about wood for the bar surface. Then as I read back, I think you have already considered that. Don't rule out quartz, btw. Not sure why you don't like granite...maybe just because you love soapstone! Also, do get a quote on custom (not the brand...the concept!) because it might price out better than you think and you'll get exactly what you want. Maybe you can make a trade-off somewhere. Contractors in some areas are slow with the decline in the market. People I know have been getting fast service and better prices. I think the biggie is finding fridge panels and slab doors that really look nice with your DR furniture. Counter material is less important IMO. I don't like the white as much as I like the Custom doors...wood with black, especially for the fridge. Mixing in some painted black units could give you the unfitted look suggested above. And maybe you could even find frameless cabs to paint black to go with whatever you have to do to get the black/wood look on some of them. (Yes, leave it to me to make things as difficult as possible!) Have you thought about color? I know Allison's F&B French Gray appeals to you. Maybe there is a color in the Bird of P fabric you could use, a dark gray/green or something. Often, one way to ease a style transition is through color. Like even when the style is different (a less formal kitchen) if there is a color connection, it makes sense to the eye/brain on a deeper level. I do it all over my house...because I have no style! ;-) One last thing to think about... I am a huge fan of frameless cabs and will never "go back" if I don't have to. But, I also find that I can get along fine with very little in the kitchen in the way of food and equipment. I have satellite storage (pantry shelves in the nearby laundry room and a linen closet I borrowed for seldom used dishes, candles, napkins, etc.) and find I really only need about 20-30% of what I have (equipment and food) on a daily basis. Just something to think about...aesthetics vs. storage. Which matters the most, etc...

Dining room will be painted Coventry grey Metal Chair frame painted a brass gold as sink. Would chevron grey white material work? Or a dark grey? Table top round glass with metal base will be also dark gold as sink

I saw the photo Yayagal posted when I was scanning Scandinavian style for my response, and agree it is good inspiration for the look you're after (if I understood your meaning). The warm woods and caramel leather warm up the space and make it inviting, but it still reads light and bright. I held off commenting on the fireplace. I really don't like the black and white pattern of the stone with the abstract pastel patterns in the existing decor. I do think it would be a fantastic focal point with a certain stripe of contemporary minimalism. But I'm not sure about it with the Scandinavian style of Yayagal's inspiration pic. I think I'd wait until the new furnishings were in place to reevaluate.