You can't live in peace...you can't, your husband can't, and your kids can't...if you are keeping more things than you have room for. We all live with space constraints, and I can tell you from experience that the constant stress of too much stuff and no room put it, and no efficient means of living and working, is TERRIBLE for your relationships, your energy, your sense of accomplishment, and your health. I am still sorting and pitching from our move out of a big house into a small one two years ago. Trying to keep more than you can live with makes you feel poor, not rich. The thing that jumped out at me in your post was that your husband doesn't want your workroom in your bedroom. And assuming that your childrens' reasonable needs are met, nothing is more important to family life than the happiness of your relationship. So from the way you describe your house, it seems to me that perhaps your dining room would make the ideal office for you. If you can keep it organized and hide it away when your workday is over, then you can turn your attention to storage for the toys your children will keep...after you explain than nobody can live with more stuff than they have room for. Last idea...do you have the budget for a small storage locker somewhere? Can you ease the process of reducing the toy mess by making a game out of choosing this month's toys...only as many as you can put away every night...and storing the rest? Then once a month, you all go to the locker and pick out a different set for that month. Like going to the toy store, only without the spending? If your children are very young, twice a month might be better...or even once a week. I think if you make a whole-house, whole family project out of this, you will all gain a sense of control and accomplishment that will bring you closer, and make everything go better.

People are giving me a lot to think about. And I did broach the idea of a lift to DH. The lot is just over half an acre--150x160. For what it's worth, I've been watching the expanded northwest/west Chicago suburban area for homes with extra large garages (or both an attached and detached garage). There aren't many and they disappear fast. They will only appeal to a certain market, but to that market, they're in high demand. (Car collectors, people who have a hobby that requires a large workshop) As for garages in the neighborhood, the few existing homes have 2--several with an additional detached garage. The new homes mostly have 3--and a few have 4. I know it's not what everyone would do but that's one of the reasons to build instead of buy--because we can plan for the things that are important to us, even, or especially, if they're not commonly available. But when it comes right down to it, few of us only have as much house as we "need". I *need* a place to sit with a computer. I want it to be comfortable (desk with pullout keyboard tray), and I want a window to look out of, and I want to have nice furniture in it. I don't need any of those things (although my chiropractor might make an argument for the keyboard tray). But I want them and can't think of any reason why I shouldn't make them happen. We're all different--there are those on this board who prefer jack&jill bathrooms. I hate them. There are those who think a 2nd sink for a hall bathroom shared by kids is a waste of money. I disagree (and so would my kids)--but that's okay. We want a house with a large double shower and don't care at all about a soaking tub. Someone else wants that tub enough to devote 36 sq ft to it. That's all okay. Looking at houses on-line, I saw zillions of "newly remodeled kitchens" that I hated. Some were objectively bad designs. But most of them weren't--they were just finishes that I didn't like at all--and knew we'd pay a premium for that 'newly remodeled kitchen' even though I'd want to rip it all out. It's all part of why people build instead of buy. We want what we want--and some of us are fortunate enough to be able to make that happen.

i dislike walking into the side of a bed when you walk in a room. my suggestion is to place the bed on the wall opposite the doors with a nightstand on the side straight in the door and a desk on the opposite side which can also be used as a night table that side of the bed. use that little offset of the room as the office. office storage (files or bookcases) could be under the window on the other wall. that would also give a flat surface to prop a suitcase on. put the dresser on the short wall opposite the desk and put the upholstered bench at the foot of the bed for putting on shoes and a place for pillows when you take them of to sleep. I think blackout drapes or curtains are a must also for better sleep.I'll try to find better pictures as examples and post

So I just tweeked your current plan a little bit by doing pier style cabinets on either side of the bed. Then you don’t have to have a nightstand. Or you can just do full height wardrobes. You will have to account for the jogs in the wall so that the bed is positioned so that you can get the doors open. Then the desk would be opposite the bed and possibly add a little bookcase. I am showing a queen sized bed.