gardening.

Cooking or sewing

My new friends and do they know how to play cards

Grand children!

Yes...the Grandchildren! I do go on and on.

My dog.

The dreadful outfits that the kidnappers are wearing.

my cats

Grammar.

(Ransom of Red Chief, was that recommended here? Funny short story.)

Same as Lily, my cats. I'd drive my kidnappers crazy, talking about them. Then I'd pull out my phone and show them pictures. Maybe a video or two. They'd return me really fast.

Remove the about and you will have it. I chatter mindlessly when I am nervous.

The bad decor at the kidnapper's home, and how they need to repaint and rearrange, and have they heard about Marie Kondo, and did they know how to choose the right shade of wall paint and....

Myself.

"I'm cold. I'm hungry. I want pizza. What do you like on your pizza? I dip mine in ranch. I feel fat. Do I look fat? I must not if you picked me out to hoist into this here van. Did you hurt your back hauling me in here? How much do you weigh? It probably would help if I didn't dip my pizza in ranch. I like animals. I have 5 dogs. They like pizza too. Do you have a dog? You should get one. Than you wouldn't have to kidnap me for company. Where are we going? I have to pee. You should have let me pee before we left. This van doesn't have bluetooth? I could play Christmas music from my phone if you want. You wanna see my Christmas Decoration pictures? No, you REALLY wanna see them. You don't like Christmas? I LOVE Christmas! Lets do Christmas Karaoke! OH THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL! TAKE IT NAPPER!!!! no? Well aren't you a Holly Jolly killjoy..... Seriously where are we going and will there be food there? Preferably pizza hint hint. I could order it if you want and ill stay in the van like a good kidnapee and wait for you to bring it. I haven't eaten all day. I like pink. I wish they made pink pizza. What's your favorite color? HAAAAAAAAA I sound like Buddy the elf. "Amy the hostage what's your favorite color?" Oops sorry you don't like Christmas. Well, what DO you like besides me, obviously? Anything else you just ride around and see and just HAVE TO HAVE? I mean, I get it, I am delightful but really, you could have at least bought me a pizza to lure me in here. I would have fallen for it. Then you wouldn't have had to hurt your back putting me in here. Nothing, no hobbies besides this huh? OOOOO you should try crochet! I like to crochet! You could make blankets for your targets! Why are you turning around? What do you mean get out? Well at least take me back to my car where you got me...rude. Kay nice to meet you by-eeee!"

AmyLou -- your post is hilarious!!! And SOOO you! I read it aloud to my husband (who rarely reacts to anything) and he was laughing hard, also!

In some ways, you remind me of Erma Bombeck (of blessed memory) -- you ought to write a book (I'd buy it). Thanks for the day-brightener!

LOL Amylou!

For me, I would talk about The Great British Sewing Bee - isn't everyone interested in the finer details of clothing construction?

Amylou for the prize!!!

seagrass

Amylou for the win!

Amy, you win!!!

roxsol, I LOVE to play cards. Wish we lived closer!

Amylou, bet you would paint the van pink, and pink interior. When are you publishing a book. I want to be first in line to buy one. Always love your postings.

mindless chit-chat.

Their poor driving. Watch out, did you see that? Turn right here, no HERE. You ran a red light! Not so fast. Don’t tailgate.

endless chatter and chatter and ...........

amylou@!! ha ha

Rob....she looks so soft.....♥

I'm staging two bedrooms....ALL the deals....the colors.....the artwork coordination....on...and on....and on.....non ending.....

OMG, amylou, you're too funny! I can see your kidnappers looking at each other and thinking, "WTH?" And just pushing you back out the door to make you shut up!

https://youtu.be/hK-QcxG66vM

It would either be the conversation above or this scene,depending on what was playing.

Jesus and scripture.

I always love Amylou's posts!

I love Erma Bombeck too! I remember just after my X and I split, I was propped up on my bed reading Erma's books and just rolling in laughter. periodically 1 of the kids would poke their head around the door and say something like 'mom, are you ok?' I was laughing so hard I couldn't manage much of an answer. I just nodded my head and started laughing all over again!

Amy Lou's post reminded me of a VERY old Murphy Brown show. She was an on-air reporter if I remember correctly, and she was kidnapped. And they brought her back or dumped her out. It was funny!!