Laurie, I too love your inspiration picture. No one I know can afford to renovate their home every 10 years and keep up with the latest trend. I have found the key is to pick out what I will be happy with in 10 years or 20 years or longer and getting what makes me happy. I wish picking the perfect cabinet color was as simple as saying BM Simply White or SW White Duck, but to get just the right white is a bit trickier than that. If you have a sample of your back splash I would take it to the BM store or the SW store and look at all of their whites next to the back splash. Pick out a bunch that are close to the lighter colors in your back splash. Then go outside in the sun and look at them again - eliminate the ones that are not quite right. Sunlight will give you the truest vision of the color. Whites are quite funny and can appear too blue or too green or too yellow or pink next to other colors. If you will be using a satin or gloss finish the cabinets may appear lighter than you expect because light will reflect more from shinier finishes. Keep this in mind when selecting the color samples. Get a pint of your final selection and paint another sample before committing to the color for all the cabinets. After you find 6 ish good candidates order a few samples from https://samplize.com/ or buy a few sample cans and make your own samples. I like using 140 lb water color paper for samples from Michael's. Heavy enough not to curl or warp. Get a pint of your final selection and paint another sample in the same gloss you will be using for the cabinets before committing to the color for all the cabinets. You can always use this paint as a first coat if you decide that it is too light or just a bit off.

Definitely remove the valance before deciding to do anything else. It's difficult to suggest color options without seeing adjoining spaces. I assume your kitchen opens to your family room. How is that space decorated? What colors do you love? I probably would not paint your perimeter cabinets. It's a huge expense and your cabinets appear to be in great shape. Have you priced a repaint from a professional?

what counters/what floor? paint can be anything....are you getting new counters/floor? Pick those...or if they will be what you have now...do wait until the big painting job is completed as adjacent surfaces create the whole effect...and then pick your paint.

Do you like the current colors in the rest of the downstairs space - the white wainscoting, trim, black rails and door, greige walls and Moss dining room? If these are your colors then I would continue with those same colors in the kitchen. Same white on the cabinets and same greige on the walls, black hardware. These colors look really good with your flooring. Hopefully they work well with the new countertop as well. If you are seriously considering changing out the cabinets in the future you may want to give some thought to the process and costs to figure out what to do in what order so that your not spending a lot of money on temporary fixes that you can live with for a year or two. Kitchen renovations can be horribly expensive and may not be totally necessary. Everyone has to figure out for themselves just how to prioritize their spending. Buy extra flooring now while they still make it (many styles/colors get discontinued in a year or two) so that you can change things in the future and not have an issue matching the floor. Decide now if you will want to change the layout of the kitchen or just replace the cabinets. Do the cabinets need replaced or just the doors and drawer fronts? How long until you will be replacing? Do you have the original painted professionally or DIY, knowing it only needs to last a year or two? Do you go ahead and order doors and drawer fronts and have the boxes painted professionally to match? Do you have the boxes painted professionally and do the doors and drawer fronts DIY until you can buy new doors and drawer fronts. Renovations cost far too much to spend money without knowing where your heading and knowing that each step is moving toward the goal.