Pudgeder, I am so sorry......thoughts & prayers to their family & friends:(

I’ve said a prayer and will again.

I’m so sorry.

Praying for your dear friend here too. I am so very sorry. What a devastating thing.

Yes, will absolutely keep them in my prayers. I’m so sorry for their loved ones and those of you who knew them. It’s incomprehensible. 😔

I don't know what you say, there are no words. I'm so sorry, what a horrific thing to happen.

A horrific tragedy.. I am so very sorry and will keep them in my prayers.

I don't think there is really anything you can say. I would simply let them know that you are there for them. I am so very sorry. Praying for this family.

I am so very sorry. I believe what Bestyears wrote about finding words and actions that say "I'm here for you for however long you need me" is the best one can do in this tragic situation.

I'm so sorry for that this horrible thing happened, and I will pray for all of you, especially your husbands friend. I don't think there are much better words than, I'm sorry, I'm here for you and I'm praying for you.

bestyears, that's it exactly.

it's strange how we fear or dread facing friends who are suffering a huge incomprehensible pain. There is very little right stuff to say because there are no answers. The kindness is just being available, maybe presenting yourself or small forms of assistance especially as time begins to pass.

So very, very sorry. Sending prayers.

Sending prayers. So very sorry. How tragic, and senseless.

Just let them know you are there as much as you can be right now. Stay in touch with them & reassure them of your love & your support. Such a senseless horrific thing. Tell them you hurt so desperately along with them.

How terrible. So sad to learn of that.

FWIW, I was recently listening to stories from a group of mothers of the murdered, and one thing they emphasized was they wanted to hear reminiscences about their children, that when people stopped talking about them it was as if they were being erased.

It’s unfathomable, what the family must be going through. Listening closely and carefully, being there for your friends may be more comforting than any words of comfort that one may be struggling to find. Hope you’re able to be of some comfort to them in a COVID-sensitive way.

Pudgeder, that is so sad and horrific.

What Carol said. We tend to try not to say the name or share memories of the deceased for some strange reason. Although your friend is going through an unimaginable, horrific situation, perhaps your memories of the deceased will bring them some comfort. When a friend's son committed suicide, she too said that it was awful for her that people seemed afraid to mention his name, when that was all that she wanted to hear. In my mind, the worst thing that anyone could say is the retoric "they're in a better place, or The Saviour called them home." I'm not a religious person, so it may be different for you and your friends. When my Mom died of cancer at age 76, I loved how many people described her as gracious. Maybe you can find such a word to comfort your friends.

I’m so very sorry and will certainly keep this family in my prayers. What a tragic and devastating loss.

Oh @pudgeder , I am heartsick for all involved. What a horrific tragedy. I will keep the family and you & your dh in my prayers.

Oh they must be totally wrecked from this. Their daughter and grandchild, gone. I have no idea what to say, maybe just listen and help them keep,the memories alive. So sad.

So very sorry for the unbearable heartbreak for each of the families touched by this horrific loss. It's just incomprehensible, there are no words, just your presence (albeit by call, text, mail, whatever you can do). My prayers have also been added to all those above.

I am so sorry and will keep them in my thoughts.

So very sad, I will indeed say a prayer for all of you.

How terrible and devastating. In addition to what others have said above, is there someone who could advise what kind of practical help they might need? Food, shopping, letting others know the terrible news?

I’ve been going through some of my late father’s old correspondence. He had a copy of a note he sent to a good friend of his and my mother’s, on the loss of the friend’s wife to murder during a robbery of her shop. It brought tears to my eyes, from the heart of my engineer dad, So, I just say, write, briefly, from your heart.

How devastating! Just awful. My thoughts are with all.

I think I could only find mundane, useful words: we are here for you and will be here for whatever you need, for any use we can be to you..... for anything at anytime. Our hearts are broken for you. Something to that effect

Wow. That is beyound heartbreaking. I can barely fathom it.

If it were me (and I cannot even begin to imagine myself in such a horrible situation) I would always appreciate a loving and caring friend to say that they something such as there are really no words to express how truly sorry I am that you have to go through something so tragic. We are always here whenever and however you need us. We are just a phone call away anytime. If there is anything at all we can do please let us know, day or night. We love you and are thinking of you. You are in our prayers and in our hearts.

I just reread what martinca wrote. I guess we both have the same thoughts on this.

I asked here for advice a month or so ago when our best friends lost their one year old granddaughter on Christmas and received so much thoughtful help. Using that advice, I always make sure to use their granddaughter’s name, and text or call every few days to let them know their pain is ours. I was surprised at how much they seemed to need to talk about it. They never hang up without telling us they love us, which is new. i hate to say it, but these kinds of tragic events often show the grief stricken who will and who won’t be there for them. Just be there.

Such horror. Before the capacity to feel an inkling of grief, I imagine I would be overwhelmed with rage and anger. All emotions are valid and I hope they know this. How can words be anything but awkward and inadequate in such situations? Be there to listen and validate their feelings. (They might need a professional ear. Will they receive resource recommendations from authorities?) Offer concrete help as nosoccermom suggested, if you can. Their world has stopped. Wishing them strength.

Oh what a tremendous heartbreak. Sending them thoughts of strength, courage, comfort and solace in this most difficult time.

How does the family even begin to deal with something like this...most fervent prayers for them....

When there are no words to erase such deep pain the very best thing is for you to be there for them and to say you love them.

My thoughts are with you and your friends.

I am so sorry for your friends and all connected to them. It's a family and community tragedy. Showing love and concern is the best you can do. Call, write cards, whatever works best (or both).

This happened to one of my dear friends...her brother killed his wife, but thankfully took their baby to the babysitter before he did. Unbelievable pain for all involved.

Luckily, they have friends like you to show their concern and share sorrow.

Thank you all for your kindness.

This is the fifth time in my social/family circle that I have heard of someone being killed by a close family member. It is more common than people think. In all of the cases I am referencing, the woman and in some cases children, were killed by the father/husband/boyfriend. Getting over it will be a long process. I would advise taking a tip from the "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" school of thought. One will never be able to figure out the "why" or get over the shock and horror and grief. But one must move forward. Important to move forward in honor of those we have lost. This is what they would want for us and from us. Just be there for them consistently, let them talk about it without trying to make it less or make it go away, but also encourage positive actions in honor of those who are lost. Perhaps some type of memorial. In several of the cases I know where someone was killed, the community has established scholarship and violence prevention programs in their honor. Perhaps there is one already going on in your community to which you could donate in honor of the family.

My deepest sympathies to the family. How horrible, and now two families have to live with this horridness. I have nothing to add but, my thoughts are with you and the families touched by this tragedy