There's a saying about how you can't tell if your doctor graduated at the top or the bottom of the class by the diploma hanging on the wall. I guess the same goes for architects.

Glad I don't live in that 'hood.

Tuscanomaly for sure!!

The interior frankly looks like many suburban Northern California suburbs where Fuscan was all the rage. That does not phase me. It seems almost like the owners had a dream home, had some money, but didn't want to leave their neighborhood. I hope they enjoy their next home.

The realtor, bless their heart, picked the best angle for the exterior shot. You don't get a full appreciation of the Frankenstein architecture until you round the corner, and see the "whoa" appended to the row homes.

I'm afraid to ask what kind of portmanteau is "Fuscan?"

I love it. Oh dear, what does that say?

I have no words.

Skibbylove, you do not!

I can seeJames Gandolfini walking about in his undershirt (god, how I miss him) and Edie Falco getting the parm out of the freezer.

The realtor forgot to tell them to depersonalize the house. It will be a problem unless the new owners have kids named Marie-Elena, Christian and Blake

Whether their taste exceeds their bank account balance or vice versa, I’ll leave it up to you to determine. (article linked above).

OUCH! Great article, dedtired.

Pal needs to come back.

It looks like the newer listing photos (at least for living room and kitchen) attempted to depersonalize the space by removing furnishings. unfortunately, no one bothered to clean the floor or the dusty counters before the photo shoot!

Well, darn. I just went in to ask my husband if he would consider moving back to PA! How could he resist? He just said, "no." Sigh. ;-)

ETA: That huge shower with the seating all the way around just begs for Tony and the boys to be sitting in the steam with their cigars plotting someone's demise.

From the article posted by Mtn: “Before we go further into this house, we should observe these facts: There are people in this world with money. There are people in this world with taste. There are people in this world with more taste than money, and those with more money than taste.”

Oh my——a far cry from my grandmother’s NE Philly row home!

Oh my!

I hesitate to get too catty about it. They might be perfectly nice folks.

But it's not like they're ever going to see my comments here. The phrase 'delusions of grandeur' did cross my mind.

Another is phrase I got from a dear friend: their taste is all in their mouth.

The exterior reminds me of this horrible McMansion down at the end of our street - which is up for sale again for I think the 4th or 5th time in 8 years. I just cannot understand why nobody ever thinks to repaint the exterior. Photos don't do it justice. There's a section randomly painted in a stippled pattern of reddish brown and ochre that looks like poop.

Bless their hearts; these realtors really have to put lipstick on a pig sometimes. I love how the palm on the right perfectly hides the poopy brown section above the balcony...

What is it with these mass produced balustrades and McMansions anyway?

I do believe that facade is the fugliest thing I have ever laid eyes on.

Yeah, that is truly a monstrosity.

The "what would you call this style" question reminded me of this San Francisco house that I used to drive by weekly. I dubbed it a Mission-style Queen Anne. Sorry for the poor picture quality, they are from Google street view.

Interesting. I don't think two-toning house, esp top and bottom works that well.

The outside is terrible. Most of the interior finishes are workable if not all to my taste. I don't mind one or two oddly shaped rooms but a whole house filled with curved walls and half-walls and jigs and jags would make me crazy.

I'm saving this pic for the next time anyone asks if they should put an ebony finish on their floor. Only if you love to clean or have excellent help.

Do you think this is her wedding dress?

One more comment, I can't tear my eyes away from this house! I am surprised there isn't another full kitchen in the basement.

Oh Gawd! 😳

You know, I saw this documentary about gypsy families a long time ago...and this house reminded me of that for some reason.

I was really distracted by the vanishing curtain rods to nowhere.

This kind of overgrown home is being built in all the outer boroughs of NYC. Detached single family houses are being rebuilt out to lot lines and height restrictions. It is happening in areas that were once blue collar and middle class. The homes are usually not knocked down or the city wouldn't let them build larger. It's a loophole in the building code in many areas. For example neighborhoods like Mid-wood Brooklyn, Dyker Heights Brooklyn, Whitestone Queens and Rego Park Queens to name a few. In upper class areas like Brooklyn Heights, and Park Slope the brownstones are protected on the front side by the Landmarks Commission. They are often purchased in great condition and completely gutted to a shell, the back wall is pushed out as far as code allows, an extra story is placed on top so that it isn't visible from the front and then often all the original detail is recreated in a slightly more modern way. I've seen two side by side large Brownstones bought reconfigured on the inside into one home, but on the outside it still looks exactly the same, like two houses.

Dee, that was the first thing I noticed, the dusty floors. I was thinking, couldn’t someone have come in with a Swiffer before they took the photos? Makes you then wonder about the rest of the house and the carpets, even though it looks clean. The whole house is oddly busy and ornate for the size of some of the rooms. Some of the kid bedrooms seem so small, yet all that space is used for grand staircases and such.

The condition of the bed platform in the main bedroom is puzzling. Did a dog chew it off? It does seem to be torn as someone mentioned.

If the house is still occupied, it’s understandable the rooms are somewhat personalized, but still it is usually advised to depersonalize as much as possible. I’m sure there are some clients who just won’t.

Honestly I expected the inside to be ten times more... just MORE than it was based off the exterior design. That’s pretty wild.

Some of the kid bedrooms seem so small, yet all that space is used for grand staircases and such.

That made me think of when I toured Hearst Castle - the staircases were anything but grand, think more emergency service stairs. Of course they made up for it in massive fireplaces.

@ mtn asked...

"I'm afraid to ask what kind of portmanteau is 'Fuscan?'"

Faux Tuscan I don't know what other combination might have crossed your mind ;)

**Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.**

Perhaps that should be the architect and builders’ motto, similar to the doctors’ pledge, “first, do no harm.”

Add interior decorators to that, and balustrade sellers 😎

I've gone back and looked at the photos several times - it's like a train wreck. All that money and renovation and they still ended up with a small dining room that isn't even connected to the kitchen.

From Philly Mag:

"Instead, one must head through the totally tricked-out chef’s kitchen, climb a few steps to its butler’s pantry, then walk through a short hallway past the pantry and powder room to get to the dining room."

According to Redfin the listing agent is John Bolaris, who was once a fairly well know weatherman in Phila. and now specializes in handling real estate for celebrities and athletes.

I found it more than a little sad. All those "grand details" with , what - no ceiling moldings at all?? and no grand landscaping and neighborhood to match. Even if I liked the interior, I would not be able to reconcile the disconnect with the views of asphalt, parked cars etc. Luckily, there will be someone who will find it all just right. ETA please tell Pal how much he is missed!

Yeah, the views are sad to me.

But I am seeing it differently --- I think these are people who wanted to stay in a neighborhood they perhaps had long connections to... I am further guessing the house next door is for the inlaws.

People who have lived all their lives in South Philly really love the place although more and more are crossing the river into New Jersey.

John Bolaris! Haven’t thought of him in a long time.

People who have lived all their lives in South Philly really love the place

Back in the 80’s, I saw a wedding show where they followed the planning and wedding of 2 brides. One was from South Philly, the other Connecticut. The Ct rehearsal dinner was in a tent on the grounds of their yacht club. The other was a street party in South Philly, which looked like a great time for the whole neighborhood.

(The best part of the show was the brides showing their Moms the dresses. The S. Philly bride said “I think this is the one!” The pushy Mom said “No, I’ll tell you when it’s the one.” 😆 While back in Ct, that Mom said “I’m sorry I’m not much help, you look beautiful in every dress.” )

The South Philly mom probably said No, hon. Great people. Salt of the earth.

I don't want to veer too far into mean-spiritedness, as a native of the Philadelphia area (ok, Bucks County) and current resident of CT.

The culture of So. Philly and NY metro CT are be quite different, but juxtaposing them that way on the bridal show sounds like they were demeaning the former.

Without going there, I think a lot of us can agree that this renovation was ill-advised. Putting an Airlite next to a CT farmhouse would be unfair. But putting this thing next to an Airlite, the original was better IMHO.

OTOH, you have to wonder why someone with means so outsized relative to the original home would choose to stay put. The community that the bridal show was mocking must be very meaningful to them?

What’s an Airlite? (I did check, but Google only says it’s a revolutionary new plastic.)

^^^This article that mtn posted above explains what an Airlite is

https://jonmillerhomes.com/airlite-homes-for-sale-in-roxborough-manayunk

KSWL, It's a particular style of modest home built in that area.

BBSTX, I'm from the Philly burbs and didn't know either. Sounds like "Levittown" homes to me.

https://jonmillerhomes.com/airlite-homes-for-sale-in-roxborough-manayunk

All I can say is Yikes!!

And do tell pal he's sorely missed.

< I don't think two-toning house, esp top and bottom works that well.>

This was commonly done in Renaissance Italy. Here's an example from Venato.

My house is also two-toned, top and bottom, but it was built in 1950.

I think she got the framed wedding dress idea from Adrienne Malooff in Bravo's Housewives of Beverly Hills. It was in the entrance to their closets. Divorced now, so wonder what she did with it.

When searching for her dress, I saw this one - "Michaels framed my wedding dress in a custom shadow box. I waited until they had 60% off plus an additional 25% off. It was only $700. And now it's always displayed on the wall walking downstairs. Better than rotting away in a box in the attic." I think she should have kept her $700.

Most of the others on Pinterest are bad. Pinterest Dresses.

Has anyone researched the "look-alike" house next door? Seems that Blake, Marie Elena , Christian and Allisandra also 'reside' there.....at least, use the Mikey Mouse bathroom. And, there is more room for them at the kitchen island.....4 chairs v 3 chairs.

LOL we've all gotten too invested in this tale!

Ok, so I finally dared to open the link. I chose to see the trees and not the forest.

First - I strangely love the wedding dress idea. Maybe because my eBay Reem Acra dress was the first true designer piece I ever owned (and the only wedding dress I considered). I mean, because....love and all..... I’ve already told DH we have to move to accommodate my need for a Clozmahall. Now I need to find a wall.....Cuz we ain't moving.

Second, that weird Roman column sink in the powder room is horrible. I love it!

OK, since sc_irish mentioned it, I looked up the home next door, also for sale:

https://www.longandfoster.com/homes-for-sale/3135-S-Uber-Street-Philadelphia-PA-19145-298378534

I'm guessing mtnredux is correct and the in-laws live next door (and this house is a better layout and a little more restrained inside and out). I'm hoping the dual sale is because the clan wants to move somewhere else and not because of any sort of need to downsize due to the economic impact of the pandemic.

Poor house. I think it looks embarrassed. The owners obviously took it very seriously, though.

I couldn’t live with that exterior but it wouldn’t take much...only $$$$

It’s the goofy sticky-outy and step area that would be a must go. Also needs landscaping and full paint. Probably code wouldn’t allow for steps where I’d want them. Maybe a deal breaker, although one could just knock off that whole section of weirdness and do a whole new entry.

If I had to pick a favorite, it would be 3135. It's not as tawdry.

Yes, it's the sticky-outy, I agree, Jterri