Thanks a lot you guys!!! I really appreciate the two birthday cakes! Now, I believe all that icing and the candles was just a coverup for a tasty chocolate cappichino cheesecake and a snickers chocolate cheesecake. I needed 2 cheesecakes 'cause everyone in the FN was able then to have some. They were sooo good! Back to reality. At 3:00am our 20 year old son woke us up to tell us that he brought a few friends home and they were going to use the hot tub. At 5:30 he woke us up again to ask us if he was in trouble...he had driven his friends back to their homes and on the way back here to our home, came across a drunk driver who had just finished totalling her car in the ditch. She asked for a ride to her home and so, he obliged and now wanted to know if he would be in trouble legally. We told him that no, since she did not hit anyone, it would be considered a single vehicle accident and it would be her choice to leave her car and go home for a few hours. By that time I was wide awake. So I got up, checked the FN and made my list/map for garage sales. Yes, Marg and I went garage saling. It was great! We had a wonderful time. What better way to spend a birthday than to do something you love to do with a very special friend. I bought stuff for the new office...2 clocks, coffee table and end tables, leather chair and ottoman...even a garbage can. For me, a spagetti strapped top (its original owner went to Thailand, bought it there and it shrunk so she couldn't wear it anymore...fits me perfectly), assorted scented body lotions (working in the garden in summer makes my feet and hands so dry I use a lot of lotion and love all the assorted scents out there these days), scrapbooking paper and stickers (someday I will get back into my stuff, maybe when things get slow at the office this winter), Partylite candle, christmas ornaments, tupperware (an oval 2 and oval 5 modular mate to go along with all my other modular mates with the assorted colored lids already at home), huge huge shallow wicker basket with a handle to plant up. Marg and I thought that petunias would look great in there. Marg thought it was large enough to plant 12 petunias in. So, today's job... A picture frame with dragonflies all around the frame, etc, etc. To go garage saling with someone who shares the same interests is wonderful...they can see an item and know exactly what you will do with it to make it better. Marg bought a number of baskets that, with a touch of paint, would look awesome. One garage sale we went to had some plants in the landscaping that we did not know. After talking to the owner, she gave me a baby and I will be posting a picture of its leaves later this week, when I get time, for you all to identify for me. She did not know what it could be. I had to make my own lunch and lunch for my DH and DS (who were mowing grass in the yard when I arrived home). I needed to have seafood at least once on my birthday so I made us some shrimp alfredo for lunch. In the afternoon I walked around my garden, taking pictures of my flowers blooming today. My DH and I went back to Brandon and picked up the furniture I purchased in the morning and took it to the office. My DD and her husband came over for supper, played Taboo, went for a walk down the country road (us and the dogs) and then came back to nibble on pineapple and watch a movie, the Wedding Crashers (a very morally wrong, lighthearted comedy). A great way to spend the evening, with family, doing no work. For my birthday cake today my DH bought two 1/4 cheesecakes from the best bakery in town, Sweet Temptations. I had my choice of a cappichino or a Snickers chocolate cheesecake. My DD and her husband gave me $ to buy plants and my DH bought me a new watch. My youngest son has been at a track and field meet near Winnipeg for the last few days and told me that I would get my present from him today. My 20 year old son also today. My DH bought a prime rib roast and we will be having a family supper here today 'cause my DD turns 21 tomorrow. Saturday turned out to be a wonderful day. Thanks for the 2 cakes! You all on the FN share the same passion for gardening as I do, and I am having a wonderful time getting to know you all better! Brenda

Good Morning Everyone, Sorry I've been away so long - time for me to re-join the world. Again, I can't thank you all enough for the kindness and support that has come from this group. There was such an outpouring of love - you all are truly special! Shirley and Dawn, that is just too funny when you say that your Mom/Gram did all the talking for the men - it was just the same with my FIL and MIL - she definitely did all the planning for what they would do and also talked for him much of the time. He would just get that twinkle in his eye and smile. It must be such a common thing with couples that are together for so many years. We (the family) finally all got together yesterday and celebrated Christmas. Art was so sick and in the hospital much of December and into January that we just never did it. Yesterday was the first time we were all together since the funeral. We all had some good laughs and some good crys, but definitely felt his presence there with us. Carol, I am so sorry to hear of your granddaughter's miscarriage. I know that you were excited for the baby even though she was so young. We always have to try to believe that everything is for a reason to help us accept and get through it. Oh, it must have been so hard to let those last two sweet little pups go! Glad your planning for a vacation and something to look forward to. Dawn, crossing my fingers and saying a prayer that your footers stay put until the temps warm. Once it warms up are you guys ready to get the walls in place now? I'm looking forward to seeing pics when that happens and it really looks like a house. It will be so fun for you too when you are able to start doing some of the things inside. New belly pictures too please - I imagine you're quite a bit bigger since the last picture. It is such a cool feeling when the baby starts really moving around alot when they get bigger. I can remember actually seeing a knee or a foot pushing out from my belly sometimes. Oh yes, and the hiccups. These next couple of months are going to go so fast for you now. Now really is the time for you to try to get get lots of rest and also get anything done to prepare. Your life is about to change forever - very exciting but very physically and emotionally draining much of the time too. We just celebrated my firstborn's 14th birthday last week and I look back and wonder where the time has gone. Feeling a little anxiety already about how fast the next few years will go by and I have to let him go out into the world. Annie, I am also so sorry to hear about Kelly's miscarriage. I'm glad she is feeling better now though. Your family has certainly been through enough. You are such an amazing woman to always keep your chin up and stay so strong. Sharon, Nancy, Carol, Annie and Dawn - Just want to say thank you for being the "bones" of our group lately. We all have times that we all but disappear for awhile and there always seems to be a core group that steps up and keeps it going, keeps us all connected. Thank you for being that these past few weeks. And speaking of disappearances - Miss Cindy, I sure do miss you and could certainly use some pictures of some of your awesome daylilies right about now. Oh, and please drag that friend of yours Sherri on over here too. Miss you guys. Marea, love the canna in the living room pictures. It's so nice that your sun is strong enough to grow them indoors in the winter. What a nice thing to look at in February. Glad to hear you're still making progress towards your move. I'll bet you will be so happy when it's done. "Snazzy Memories' is just beautiful and will be so meaningful to Dawn and Jenna. Once again, I am so touched by your big heart. I hope that some day we are all lucky enough to have 'Snazzy Memories' in our gardens. I have a few hostas that were potted on the porch that I ended up bring in a few weeks ago. They have all sprouted and opened their leaves. Makes me want Spring even more. An early arrival would be just fine with me.It is so cold here too right now. Hope you're all remembering to keep those bird feeders full. I've been filling mine twice a day. The birds will just sit in the trees within 3' of me now waiting while I fill them. I barely turn my back to head for the house before they flock to the feeders and ground to eat. The poor babies are so cold and hungry right now. Barb, hope your "blueness" ends soon and things start looking up for you and hubby. Missing your posts. I'm going to try to get those DL seeds out to you soon. Debbie, MaryS, Gloria and Angie, it was so nice to see you all post. Please come around more often - miss you guys. Jo, I don't think I have ever seen you so quiet - miss you too but know how busy your life is these past few months. Please let us hear from you. Anita, so sorry about the tragedy at your house. Hope your hubby realizes that he did all he could for his friend and feels at peace with it. We sure would like to hear from you again soon too. Dawn, how are the fish? Well, enough rambling. Sorry if I missed anyone. Got to work later on today so I have some chores to do at home ofcourse. Hope you all have a great day. Any big Colts or Bears fans here? Hugs, MaryB

Some financial advisors in this area were telling us a few years ago how to get money out of our tax-deferred retirement account, which are added to our income and taxed at high rate, at no tax cost. If I am required to take $5,000.00 from my retirement account this year, if I borrow $100,000.00 at 5% and invest it, the interest of $5,000. is deductible, which offsets the $5,000. taken out of my retirement account, which leaves me with no tax to pay on that withdrawal. In the volatile markets these days, there`s no way that I want to invest a large amount of money into equities at one time - I want to invest small amounts on a regular basis over a period of months and years. I would need to be in a position where I not only didn`t require the payout from the retirement account for current expenses, but didn`t foresee that I might do so for a substantial period. In order for me to borrow $10,000.00, the lender (bank) wants quality assets in the ratio of 2:1, e.g. stocks worth $20,000.00 as collateral to support the loan. For myself, I don`t want to borrow more than $10,000.00 if I have $30,000.00 (or even more) in collateral: too great a possibility of having a substantial drop in the markets. If I have certificates issued for the new purchases, that would add to just short of $30,000.00 of collateral. If the market drops by just short of one-third, that leaves me with $20,000.00 of collateral, which is the bare minimum that the bank requires. If there`s a further drop, they want either more assets to add to the collateral ... or cash to pay down some of the loan to under one-half of the amount of the collateral (and they`ll likely want a larger amount, to allow some extra cushion, to avoid the need to come running back with further demand if there is even a slight further drop). And - they want that extra equity today ... tomorrow at the latest! I haven`t had such margin calls, and don`t want any, either ... and even more do I not want my clients to have to deal with one! I`m only willing to stretch things that tight if I have more certificates at home, in case of need. But many retirees, the people making such withdrawals, have such assets available. I`ve been carrying a fully secured line of credit for some years (much of the time unused) and I might be able to draw on it to pay down some of the equity loan, in case of need. I do not want to be in a situation where I need to sell assets in the case of a market downturn ... for I am very conscious of the fact that I still owe the bank the full amount that I borrowed, even if some of the stuff that I bought with the loan has lost a substantial part of its value. In many cases ... that`s the time to buy more - when stocks are selling at a discount! Many good stocks are on sale these days ... step right up, folks ... big sale!! 40% off!! (Of course, they may be on fire sale later ... don`t be surprised if the market goes down farther before it resumes a sustained upward trend). Good wishes for increasing skill in managing your income and assets. ole joyful

Hello everybody, Unfortunately, I am having a relapse triggered by a family fight I had today. As I mentioned in my first post, my relationship with my mom is not good and she is very disrispectful with my stuff and has thrown away very special things to me. Things that I really treasured. Today, I picked up a carped that my mom had removed almost a year ago. She wanted to throw it away, but the carpet was in good condition and I liked it, so I took it to a place to have it washed and storaged. Today I finally got it back home and put it behind a wall in my living room. It was well hidden and it wasn't taking too much room. My mom saw it and started acting like crazy and told me she was going to throw it away tomorrow. I got angry and she started telling me that I had my stuff all over the house, which is not true, and then mentioned that the fact I put my little dog's stuff, like his plate and little bones in the laundry room was a problem for her to. This made me get very angry and I went down the stairs because I wanted to make sure my dog's stuff were safe. suddenly, my uncle, who was at home for a visit, stood up and got between me and my mother because according to him he thought I was going to hit my mom, which is a terrible lie. He dared me to fight and I told him I was not going to accept his attitude in my house. Then he asked me to go outside and I said: OK. Let's go. Next, my brother showed up and my mom to avoid the fight. Then my brother told me he didn't want to fight because he was much heavier than me and that it was going to be easy for him. I said: Come on, let0's do it. And he refused it and said he loved me. Ever since my parents divorced he has interfered in many of my family's issues that are not concer of his and sometimes he has tried to act like the man of the house. Today was the last straw and made me lose my mind. He has brainwashed my mom several times, my mom almost always does what he tells her to do and of course, he usually takes my moms side. All this conflict made me have a psychiological crisis and miss my little dog a lot since I feel very alone again and I have no friend and partner at home to rely on. I really didn't need this since I was starting to feel better about the loss of my beautiful Guyton, to heal, to rearrange my life without suffering too much and feel more peace. On top of that, my Psychiatrist took the liberty to show my mom and my brother my diagnosis file after a visit my mom and my brother made to his office, which was a terrible violation to my privacy and to the confidentiality respect Mental professionals have to have. It's the most basic and important rule. Now, my mom is using this as a weapon and threatening me to send me to a mental hospital because my Psychiatrist also told her and my brother she could do that. It is just unbelievable. He betrayed me and put me in a very difficult position. Specially now that I am trying to overcome the death of my little dog and my mind is unstable. It just looks he also took my brother's and mom's side and they are their patiens not me. Now I am missing Guyton a lot again and their loss became bigger again too. I am lost and sad again. I really hope you can reply to me. Thank you very much in advance for your help and kindness