Why is pillow arranging so difficult?
Cor Cor
3 years ago
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Comments (38)
freedomplace1
3 years agoremodeling1840
3 years agoRelated Discussions
It's So Difficult....
Comments (9)Marie i am sorry to hear of your loss.I lost my mom to cancer 2 years ago and she also expierienced a collapsed lung during a bronchoscopy.She had a emergency chest tube inserted and was never the same again.This all happened on my birthday.Mom died 5 weeks later.For closure and to prevent the MD from hurting anyone else i sought legal advice.The lawyer said Mom signed a consent prior to the procedure which explains all that can go wrong and a collapsed lung is one of the things listed on the cosent form.Very weak case if any he said.It would cost more to prepare than would be awarded.As if that was not enough--in October 2004 my Dad died,and a month ago i ended a 3 year relationship with a wonderful man who has the disease of alcoholism but denies it.I was numb and calm when mom and dad died,but fell apart after this relationship ended.It all came to the surface,and i do not know if i will ever stop crying.I am depressed and angry and feel very alone.I know these emotions are normal,but wonder if i can cope....See MoreThis is so difficult...,and frustrating.
Comments (32)Doodle, you should have said... no woman in her right mind would marry a man who is the sole support of his ex! Sure, there are lots of guys that pay spousal support and it's a foolish woman that relies 100% on her ex's support... to be financial dependent on someone else is taking a risk that they won't lose their job, lose their assets, or die without providing for her. Then where would that leave her? Well, look at my DH's ex for example. She married at 24 & split from hubby #1 at 25... divorce is still not final but he's been paying support for 12 years. Some of it is temporary spousal support so if he decides to no longer pay it, he will likely get it stopped since it was a short marriage & she's been a student for at least 5 years.... plenty of time to get a degree (though she hasn't) and she's had 12 years to get a job, though she hasn't. She has relied on his money for 12 years.... she is now working just enough to keep DCSS from suspending her license for support she owes for SD. She works 20-25 hrs a week @ $8 an hour, not a living wage in my opinion. Well, she is 36... 37 in a few months and has NEVER held a real job! She has not finished her AA degree, though she's called herself a student for 12 years. Her older daughter is 13, almost 14... so she's got another 4 years in child support, which I would almost guarantee her husband will want to finalize the divorce and stop the spousal support too. What is she going to do? She's lived with her 70 year old mom until she moved in with her current BF who has said he has no intention of marrying her... well, besides the fact he can't marry her since she's married already, he is seeing her as a financial burden. He was after her to get a job for a while because his things were being repossessed but she wouldn't work until DCSS was going to take her license. So, in 4 years will this guy still be her BF? Her mom will be 74-75 on a fixed income & she will be 40 with no work history or education. That's what can happen when you do nothing with yourself but rely on someone else to support you all your life. and even if your ex is wealthy and he does provide for you in his will or you have a legal agreement... who's to say he will be ABLE to fulfill the agreement or that there will be anything left to will? The stock market crashing, the housing market taking a dive, or maybe a few bad business decisions can ruin someone. It is shocking how little Michael Jackson had at the time of his death... you never know what will happen and to tie your financial future on what someone else does, well that is foolish....See MoreWhy are people so flaky?
Comments (46)Running, I too am sorry for your loss, that's how I lost a parent too, it's very tragic. This is such a timely post and I'm so glad to see that I'm not alone when it comes to keeping commitments. Keeping your word or honoring commitments is very black and white for me and even though I don't agree, sometimes people say my expectations are too high. Since when is it too much to expect that someone be considerate of someone else? Like many things that are changing in this world, I think it's a way of thinking that is slowly slipping away. I travel to different offices for work, they are expecting to see me on certain days and communicating with them if I can't make it is key. Today I was asked to reschedule my sites so I could visit three different sites that needed an emergency visit. These clinics require a weekly visit and for some unknown reason the person responsible had flaked and not gone in weeks. She also had not let anyone know that she missed going to them either. The same thing happened a few weeks before, same sites, different co-worker. By the time management was advised, she hadn't been to them in weeks either. And this behavior seems to happen on all levels of the professional scale. I can't tell you how many times I've been to a clinic that was expecting lunch to be brought in by a drug rep and they completely flaked on their clients too, no calls, no apologies, just a hungry staff scrambling to find a quick bite before patients come in. I really don't understand how it's even remotely ok. When it comes to my personal life, outside of my immediate family, I don't expect anyone to honor their word. That way there's no disappointment if they don't and I'm pleasantly surprised when they do. Fortunately for me, everyone in my immediate family is like minded about this issue too....See MoreDifficult Conversations; Difficult Decisions
Comments (98)A big hug to you, BBS. I am so deeply sorry to hear of your loss. As others have said, please be gentle to yourself and put aside any second-guessing. As others have also said, we need to have these discussions not just once. When we are younger, hale and hearty, we all think we know what we would want. But the will to live is very very strong, and people do sometimes change their mind when it is no longer hypothetical....See MoreRachel Lee
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