You asked about your walls: Most of my clients prefer eggshell finish throughout, and sometimes satin in kitchen, baths. Or you might want to look into some of the newer matte finishes. Use alot of Ben Moore's Regal Matte- Clients like this finish also, but not in kitchen's or baths. Best to you. :)

Do you have some lamps you can drag to your new construction that will give you similar light quality to what you will end up with? Your post reveals that you understand the control that light has over the final effect..it's everything! My other thought is that you might discuss this problem with your contractor, and see if he/she will compound and prime the drywall, but hold off the final painting until after the lighting is in place? It's not unusual at all to do it that way, particularly since, if you hate the color's final effect, you'll have wasted the time and money, and either have to do it over, or live with a lovely new house that isn't right.

We matched the color of white trim we had throughout the house (SW Dover White) because I had lived with the white for years and still loved it. By going with the trim color, I was a little more confident that the cabs would like they belonged with the rest of the house. If you love the color of your white trim, that could be an easy answer to a very tough question. Our walls are SW Honied White and I like how the white trim pops just a bit against the walls but the low contrast makes it look unified and airy.

Color doesn’t have to be consistent, but sheen and durability should be different from what is used in the interior. Link below is very helpful and also has color suggestions that will better handle scuffs/wear and tear vs white. https://www.garagetooladvisor.com/design/best-paint-garage-walls/