skip to main content

The Kitchen Table

Smile Today - 4/6

Annie Deighnaugh

4 years ago

I've been in love with the same woman for 41 years.

If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

-- Henny Youngman

Featured Answer

jim_1 (Zone 5B)

4 years ago

last modified: 4 years ago

Two guys were doing construction on a house. One of them who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail, and then either toss it over his shoulder or nail it into the siding.

The other guy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first guy explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed towards me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the house, then I nail it into the siding."

The second guy was outraged. He yelled, "You moron! The nails pointed towards you aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (7)

aok27502
4 years ago
When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no, you're going to get it anyway.

Erma Bombeck
Related Discussions
Smile today - 6/4/21
Q
Comments (9)
https://www.newsweek.com/man-teaches-cat-laugh-hilarious-viral-video-tiktok-1597282 Man teaches his cat to laugh...,,.SUPER CUTE!
...See More
Smile today - 6/4/22
Q
Comments (10)
Turns out that all the answers to my problems were not at the bottom of a pint of ice cream. But the important thing is that I tried.
...See More
Smile today - 6/6/22
Q
Comments (9)
I don’t need to play hard to get, I am already hard to want.
...See More
Smile today - 6/4/23
Q
Comments (10)
Those mirrors at the beauty salon are killers.
...See More
Jasdip
4 years ago
susanwv
4 years ago
Rusty
4 years ago
norar_il
4 years ago
norar_il
4 years ago

Related Stories

ARCHITECTURE 6 Tower Houses Rise to the Tastes of Today

By Dorman Architects

No medieval turrets here, just materials like sleek metal and glass — and, of course, spectacular views

TILE 10 Reasons to Consider 4-by-4-Inch Tile

By Becky Harris

Designers are embracing the once common but recently overlooked square tile in kitchens and bathrooms

MATERIALS 6 Ways to Bring the Richness of Leather Home

By Culpepper Carpets & Interiors, Inc.

Skin has always been in around the home, from classic sofas to luxurious walls, but today's leather options are broader than ever

FURNITURE 6 Decades-Old Designs That Look Better Than Ever

After getting a few nips and tucks, some favorites from the ’60s and ’70s have made a stylish comeback

LIFE Thank U 4 the Gr8 Gift: How to Send Thanks in the Digital Age

By Laura Gaskill

We click open invitations and RSVP via text, but a handwritten thank-you is sometimes still best. Here's how to tell

NURSERY IDEAS 6 Nurseries That Wow With Bold Graphic Style

By Becky Harris

These parents who love modern design are finding beautiful and cheerful ways to pass their style on to their babies

POOLS 6 Dream Poolside Retreats

By Becky Harris

Immerse yourself in stunning pool house designs from Greek revival to modern Gothic

ARCHITECTURE 6 Amazing Homes Dug Into the Earth

By Dorman Architects

Designed to disappear or with portions peeking out, these houses bring a new meaning to 'communing with nature'

KITCHEN ISLANDS 4 Great Kitchens With Workhorse Islands

By Mitchell Parker

In these modern, contemporary, French country and industrial spaces, the kitchen island pulls it all together

COLOR 6 Ways to Use Pumpkin Spice in Your Decor

By Becky Harris

Add a dollop of this harvest hue to your home to get ready for fall

Sponsored

More Discussions

Have you found any bargains or deals lately?

41

Tragic news for a very close friend of mine

22

Gas station prices

30

I'll show you mine/you show me yours - Th 4/25/24

15

Smile today - 4/25/24

5