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janinroch

The "Shoulda Woulda Coulda" of the VIRUS

JAN MOYER
4 years ago
last modified: 4 years ago

The scene: Me in the grocery yesterday. A list in my hand from my sister, and an ordinary " small liquid dish soap, any" request . Nope! Zero dish soap. Just a long shelf, void of .....soap.

Back in the car with the 80% satisfied list , I mused on one of my all time favorite books;

"Home Comforts" by Cheryl Mendelson. Written in the mid nineties, it resonated with me in a way glossy and gorgeous design books could not, despite my shelves are sagging with those to this day.

Why? Because I was witnessing daily, the very thing this tome sought to explain, to avoid, and how to avoid it. Despite the luxurious exteriors, the super convenient interiors, the luxury fittings of that decade? Chaos, many times .......I shall continue this oh - so - fascinating topic below.

Comments (81)

  • printesa
    4 years ago

    That is such a kind thing to do wacokid! Many of us are affected by this and no matter how much one makes, it's still difficult. I am not referring to those who have millions..even those who have salaries above 100k don't have it easy..usually expenses are a lot higher as well (mortgage, cars, insurance, etc)

  • wacokid
    4 years ago

    I walk the walk. To many here just talk the talk.

  • Karen
    4 years ago

    Wacokid, what you did is wonderful, and I commend you for it, and thank you for your example, as I'm sure everyone who knows about it does. I know emotions are running high, but let's all try to be gentler with each other, and refrain from making the kind of judgments you've made here. You can't possibly know whether "too many here just talk the talk" - the only way commenters here know about your generous act is your revealing it; surely there are others using this forum who are "walking the walk," but without telling us the way(s) in which they're doing it.

    Wishing all well!


  • wacokid
    4 years ago

    Well then Karen, I challenge anyone on Houzz to "walk the walk" with me. What are you and others on Houzz doing to help others? Besides just "talking the talk". Why don't you start? What are you doing?

  • Karen
    4 years ago

    I'm sure I could do more than I am doing and have done so far. I'll use your example and challenge to consider ways to help that haven't yet occurred to me. Truly wishing you and yours the best.

  • wacokid
    4 years ago

    Awesome Karen, that is what I was trying to accomplish. Now, who else is going to "walk the walk".

  • zeesosa
    4 years ago

    Jan, which culture specifically experiences those situations of poverty you speak of.

  • jmm1837
    4 years ago

    I'm not going to be guilted by " not walking the walk." We don't have rental properties any more, our investments have tanked, and we're at the high risk age for infection (plus, we're in a Covid 19 hotspot thanks to the mindless behavior of some wealthy city dwellers who went on a ski trip to Aspen, picked up the virus, and decided to come down to their holiday homes in our little part of the world instead of self isolating at home in Melbourne). The best thing I can do is observe the Stage 3 instructions to reduce the odds of catching or spreading the disease. This is the second disaster to hit Australia this year, btw, and after the bushfires, I and a lot of Auusies who were generous then are tapped out.

  • wacokid
    4 years ago

    Nobody else? I did not think so........

  • jmm1837
    4 years ago

    waco - I've explained my reasoning and Im not going to apologize. Nor am I going to judge the many people who've been forced to close small businesses, or been laid off, or lost rental or investment income they relied upon for daily living. They're not " walking the talk" because they're too busy "treading water" to keep afloat.

    This situation is affecting all of us, but in different ways. I'm perfectly prepared to criticize irresponsible behaviour by the Bondi Beach or Aspen ski sets, but I don't think any of us is entitled to judge the responses of people who are struggling financially or medically or even emotionally right now.

  • wacokid
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    I’m only seeing if anyone else is doing anything to help others. You don’t have to keep explaining to me why you are not. Those people who have been laid off, lost rental income, etc. are the ones that need the help.

  • jmm1837
    4 years ago

    But why are you assuming that people commenting here aren't among those who are struggling themselves? It's great that you can forego income from your rental properties, but I have a family member who is entirely dependent on that income to support himself and his kids. He doesn't need help at the moment, but he's in no position to help others out financially. A lot of folks are going to be in the same boat. Right now, not doing something stupid that will spread the disease is the biggest help a lot of people can offer.

  • knicetime
    4 years ago

    Well it looks like Jan’s thread has been turned into a different issue.:(

  • Anna (6B/7A in MD)
    4 years ago

    Houzz commenters have a tendency to morph a topic.

  • wacokid
    4 years ago

    Lucky for you there are people around the world risking their lives, certainly I am not, to help others. I did what I could and encourage others that can to pitch in. Not everyone can help, you have made that clear.

  • PRO
    JAN MOYER
    Original Author
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    Girls., Girls, Girls, ............take my advice: Dive into a spring cleaning fit, and when we finally are sprung from our cells? You can dance up the block, down the road, up the street, over the hill, across the back forty , or wherever! )

    Your home, you, yours, how you define clean, comfort - how much you help, on/what and whom you bestow that help, and in what manner, you define it. You are the DECIDER. . Right? Right!!!! : )

    Walk your own Walk.

  • jmm1837
    4 years ago

    " Nobody else? I did not think so."


    To me, that is very judgemental, and unfairly so, for the reasons I've explained.


    I am well aware that we are all indeed lucky that people around the world are risking their lives. But I am also aware that there are those who are risking other people's lives with irresponsible or unthinking behavior. There are too many people simply ignoring the advice, and in many cases, the actual instructions, of health authorities and governments by heading off to holiday homes, crowding beaches, hoarding comestibles and face masks, and flooding into hardware stores and garden nurseries stores for non-essential supplies. Perhaps they don't understand the seriousness of the situation, perhaps they think they're invincible, perhaps they don't care - but the most basic thing I and any of us can do is to make sure we're not part of that group. That's where I start with "helping others."

  • wacokid
    4 years ago

    You see 1837, you are helping, you just did not know it. Now who’s next? Jan care to take a walk with me?

  • PRO
    JAN MOYER
    Original Author
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    AHEM!!!! This very brave new world can not go on forever. Every human on this planet will assume some risk, or cease to live in any manner that resembles life as one once knew it. Anywhere, planet Earth.

    Two eyes, two nostrils, one mouth. Limit the exposure to these five entry points, with immaculate hands and zero touching of your face. Keep that six feet of distance.

    But realize that prayer for treatment and a vaccine are the most logical things for which to pray, Few can live in this new hands off, head down , nose to the damn window pane manner, too much longer. Very few.

    If a simple thread such as this is any indication? Call "earth"...... TOAST : )

  • hemina
    4 years ago

    @wacokid-It’s good to hear how you’re helping your renters. That type of giving that will help us all in the long run, and maybe avoid the Great Depression^2. I’m paying for any service that I would have done before-haircuts, cleaning, exercise, math club and karate for the kids etc. I worry about the small businesses like restaurants and ‘non-essential’ businesses, or those that provide services like massage therapists, salons etc. I hope they get assistance rebuilding their lives once this is over.

  • wacokid
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    Thanks Hemina. I thought it was time for me to stop watching others help and do something. It was a small thing but it made a difference to those families. I encourage others to help, it might be a sacrifice but that makes it more rewarding.

  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago

    Waco, religious Christians likely won’t tell you about their charitable works because Jesus told us not to. I can’t speak for any other religions, they may or may not have the same rule.

  • wacokid
    4 years ago

    Man, the excuses to not help people are piling up. Leave "Jesus" out of this.

    “Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done.”

  • queenmargo
    4 years ago

    wacokid- in one breath you say leave "Jesus" out of this and then you post about the LORD.

  • PRO
    JAN MOYER
    Original Author
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    "Helping others" is between you, your conscience , a higher spirit in whatever faith you practice or do not practice. Even Atheists can be givers. It matters not whether that is weekly tithe, a once a week grocery trip for some other soul. a plate of cookies to someone who received bad news, or LOSING your darn fear of this virus for a mere thirty seconds to help a senior out of a car at the grocery parking lot. It can be phone calls to those you haven't spoken with in eons. It can be mending a fence in a fractured relationship; an amending long overdue.

    The joy of giving now, is no different than at ANY other time of the year. Or for any other disaster - it makes you feel good. Nobody else need even know. You can't force others to do it, you can't tell another how much, or in what manner any more than you can tell them what to eat and when to eat it.

    Kindness , courtesy, generosity, selflessness, ..............you will know. The receiver will know, or not know. The joy in any giving, is that you ultimately "gift" yourself , thanked or not, rewarded or not, seen or unseen by another. That's why giving brings more LASTING joy, than getting.

    Now, lets go back to toilet paper, shall we? : ) Are you spring cleaning? What about your donations from that closet you could be purging in advance of the summer where you may hopefully be allowed out again? Mmmmm ? How's that going? There;s more joy. A reborn cell, free of the over abundance that clutters your mind and life!

  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago

    Is that why you’re helping on Houzz, unpaid, Jan?

  • PRO
    JAN MOYER
    Original Author
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    It's for the joy that a "houzz client "can't text me...........PING ME NOT lol

    That, and at four am, it wakes me up before I DON'T gift the paying client ......who did ping me all day the previous day! Make sense?

  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago

    I kinda see it. There is free will involved.

  • Michele
    4 years ago

    My parents came here from post WWll Europe. (Many aunts and uncles as well. Most went back to live there, not my parents) They were farm people (translation: not too much money). Did they run a household? Yeah! Like nobody’s business. Even when I was a kid and my parents went back and visited, they had humble homes. Would they give the shirt off their back if you asked? You bet! They grew their own food, cleaned their houses, they repaired things. Remember that? Each time we went there were signs of modernization. I‘ve not seen it in over 30 years. Why?

    Because my husband and I are not in a position financially.

    Do I clean, cook, fix things? Yes I do.

    When my oldest went through her snotty adolescent years, I heard more than once “if the two of you couldn’t afford to you shouldn’t have had kids”. OUCH! Thank God that passes.

    (Life happened. This, that and the other, as to our financial state)

    So, when I see with my own eyes how other people keep their homes, people who are doing well financially, it boggles my mind. I’m always glad when I come back home, be it ever so humble.

    Right now, got to get going. 91 year old mother. She lives in her little apartment by herself, the way she wants it. I cook, clean, launder, shop...,for her too. Off I go. Mask, gloves and a fear in me that I must conceal from my family here and from my mom.




  • Michele
    4 years ago

    I’m going to see if I can download the book.

  • queenmargo
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    LOL wacokid- you can put me down all you want, how is that being kind or productive? I just made an observance that you chastised someone for bringing up "Jesus" and then you bring up the "LORD". Why be hypocritical?


  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    Ok, you have shamed me into action, Waco. Margo, I’m sending you my last two cans of food




    The Simpsons.

  • hemina
    4 years ago

    Ok people-I look at these as sharing of ideas. We don’t know each other, we’re complete strangers and coming up anonymously with ideas on how we can help during this crisis. It might mean different things for different people. It’s not about boasting or shaming, or about religion. It’s just about helping others in need. Stop putting something positive down.

  • wacokid
    4 years ago

    Again, thanks hemina. I tried to "encourage" others, some might call it shaming. But deep down, everyone knows what I am saying. Some step up, others make themselves feel better with derogatory comments towards me. Now, I will bow out gracefully, as long as no one brings me back up. Again, reach out and help others............

  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago

    If I ate creamed eels, I imagine I’d bring them back up.

  • queenmargo
    4 years ago

    LOL, I got it Tilly!

  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago

    Did you ever get the Vegemite I sent you Margo? (Don’t tell Jesus I said that.)

  • queenmargo
    4 years ago

    Yes. It would be like eating creamed eels, loll lol. I did not try.

  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago

    You only use a little, with butter or margarine. It’s salty, unless you buy the low salt one.


    When Tom Hanks was quarantined here, when he tested positive for Coronavirus, he posted a photo of his breakfast. It showed the Vegemite slathered on toast. Well, over here he got a telling off. No one has it like that.

  • printesa
    4 years ago

    Tilly, I saw that and all the Australians were saying that he should have cut that by 97%:) I've never tried it and not planning on it:))

  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago

    We mostly have it on toast or in sandwiches. It’s a yeast based spread which is a source of vitamin B. We are brought up on it since infancy, but I have met foreigners that like it.

  • printesa
    4 years ago

    I am sure it's a acquired taste..there are foods that I grew up with and my kids who were raised in the states don't even want to touch it:) I like yeast so maybe it's not that bad:)

  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    It’s savory. When we had a tummy bug Mum used to prescribe “dry toast” (no butter or marge) and Vegemite, or crackers and Vegemite. Replaced some of the salt you lost. Mum was a nurse.

  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    Re the helping during this pandemic, here is what volunteers around the world have been doing.

    https://www.houzz.com/discussions/5889642/the-power-of-the-peoples

  • PRO
    JAN MOYER
    Original Author
    4 years ago

    In the meantime, have a smile and trust me, it WILL make you smile: Share with the kids

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=16&v=MMBh-eo3tvE&feature=emb_logo


  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago

    Haha, I shared it with friends. Meanwhile, in India, (short)


    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=puRE-HPyW9I

  • Anna (6B/7A in MD)
    4 years ago

    Jan, a thousand likes!

  • User
    4 years ago
    last modified: 4 years ago

    I feel so horrible about the people in India. Such a densely populated country, and so much suffering.

    i was hoping the disease might mostly pass by Africa and countries like India.

  • Tilly Teabag
    4 years ago

    Self service, eh, Hemina.