Instead of searching for "a" color or "a" brand maybe you should try searching for a professional colorist. a.k.a. Color Consultant, Color Designer, and don't forget about color tinters who work behind the counter. You have a very fun challenge for the right person. If you can find the right color pro, they will help you. Otherwise, I'd simply suggest methodically moving from one brand to another; it's really just a matter of trial and error. Because what I perceive to be the color of a ball of string is probably different from what you're envisioning.

Benjamin Moore Flint AF-560 Website with this photo

If shiplap does become dated, then one can always do what we’ve done for ages and replace it, just like shag carpet, olive green tile and laminate countertops. But if you love the look as I do, and you’re happy with your space, you don’t need to be shamed as if you’re an uneducated peasant. Often what professional designers think is fabulous will seem garish and cold to the average “peasant” person. I believe any material done tastefully will never go out of style, although it may not appeal to the taste of a future buyer. The pictures posted here of tasteless 70’s fads do not fairly compare to the clean lines and character of today’s shiplap. I can find plenty of examples of high dollar interior design work that would make one’s eyes bleed. That being said, I would go with a matte white on the shiplap and a satin white on the trim.

It depends on what you are applying the brass finish to. For most applications, I think RubNBuff looks more authentic then spray paint.