Ahhhhhhh I understand completely. I havent had the medical problems you have had, except for a broken hip below the ball and socket, a yr ago, that still keeps me limping.. Worst part is that it was entirely my own fault, for doing something stupid. I have lost a son, many years ago, at the age of 18 months, and I do understand the pain.

My suggestion, dont look at everything all at one time. Take one room, and completely finish it. Dont even worry about the rest. Once that room is finished, it just might help you tackle one more, and then finally one by one you will have them done. Once you have finished the second room, take a day and go back and give that first room a cleaning, so it stays done. After the third room,, take a day and go back and go over rooms one and two. You need to make sure they stay done. Little by little. Once you have conquered all of it, you should have be able to keep it that way by taking one day a week, and do the dusting, and the vacuuming and maybe any mopping etc. Then take yourself and your hubby, out for a nice well deserved dinner. Best of Luck to you.

Taking one room at a time is the backbone of this program...and, the daily maintenance, and then one special extra task...maybe dusting the bedroom...maybe spiffing up the bathrooms, etc. This keeps you in front of the house cleaning. Thank you for reading my diatribe!!!! Margee

Oh, and a broken hip is awful. From the nurse in me!!

I haven't read the book you mentioned, but I know that clearing out a room at a time can work as long as you aren't frustrated that there will be some disorganization and clutter as you move things to their best place. The hardest task for me is physically removing items from my premises, so I hired a lady who would come and take all of my discarded items out of my house to a donation center or the dump, whichever was needed. She would stop by every morning and load up her truck, then I could spend the rest of the day clearing out more. Having the physical help was a huge reason that I was able to rid myself of unneeded items successfully. It's been almost two years since I finished the project and I still get a thrill from looking at my organized closets, drawers and cabinets.

I hope you are successful in your project!

Honey, if you can survive all that, you can conquer this! We are all on your side. One little project at a time. I started with my closet, only throwing out ten things I hadn’t worn in years. Donate items if you want, but throw them away if it is too much for you and your sweet husband to drive to Goodwill or Salvation Army, etc. right now. Later in the day, I picked ten more things from my closet and put them in a garbage bag. Soon, I had a full bag and my closet was lighter. It snowballs and no one is judging you by how many days or months it will take to lighten the load of disorganization. Keep us posted.

Years ago I joined Flylady. Her saying is, your home didn't get like this overnight, it won't get clean overnight. I liked that she was about routines you do daily, and over time you get on track. Her style isn't for everyone, but I still find that if I used the routines, my house and life run better. You just do what you need to do, I don't follow to the letter and adjust them to fit my abilities and needs.

You've had way too difficult times, I'm so sorry!

No ideas, just hugs, (((Margeetx)))

Oh, my! You HAVE been through a lot! My heart breaks for you losing your son.

It occurs to me from here where I sit at my computer with none of your problems, that I can offer to you a bit of a perspective.

Both you and your husband are not living the same life you had before age, infirmity and tragedy came to you. Starting a new life by ridding yourself of the weight of the past might be so very helpful and freeing.

You sound as if you are fortunate enough to not be burdened in poverty, you have the means to be provided for, and that you have grandchildren to love. Those are things to be thankful for.

Lighten up the material things, clear out the clutter and see who you are at this time of your life. I really do believe that there is a world of truth to the idea that many of us can function better in our lives if there is more order, less chaos and greater appreciation for the things that are left after we clear out the excess.

Margeetx, I think I need to look into your new system. While Flylady worked for me for a long time, I’m finding I may need something else. Do you think you’ll find that you get off track with 5 days in the kitchen? I worry that I’ll get to Day 3, then something in another room will need to be taken care of and take me over.

Hello all: Bpath.....each day, while conquering the main task, you are guided to always complete the DAILY MAINTENANCE CLEANING, and then one special emphasis task....it could be concentrating on the bathroom, or bedroom, or kitchen, etc. the author emphasizes that her book is a GUIDE, and with special logs that can be downloaded and printed...then used to your liking. I really liked one day her special emphasis was a “rest day and dinner out!” It seems that with all of our doctor appts and various procedures, I sometimes can’t remember what I did today, much less yesterday. Anna: your system sounds a lot like what I did when I was working, and concentrated my real housework on the weekends. I remember when my kids were little, I would always do my heavy cleaning and loads and loads of laundry on Friday nights, to leave my weekends free for yard work, shopping, and usually birthday parties that the kids were invited to. I urge you to go to Amazon and get the book. I got it on Kindle, and then ordered a hard copy that I could highlight and mark up. And, I have been forced by health issues to really let my clean house go by the wayside, and I need this guidance. I know that if I can get my home back to where I always had it before, I will feel better. Thank you all for your comments.

My heart goes out to you! Sending hugs and warm thoughts your way!

I agree with one step at a time. It doesn’t even have to be one ROOM at a time. Pick one thing each day- maybe it’s a drawer, or a section of counter space. A shelf. One thing a day will help keep it manageable and hopefully not overwhelming.

Be kind to yourself! If you miss a day- don’t try to double up or beat yourself up about it. Just commit to tackling one thing the next day. You’ll get there. You’ve been through so very much. Love & peace to you.

The basic concept of the book is sound: gradually establish daily and monthly cleaning routines while chipping away a larger issues. There are a number of "systems" to do that. You just have to find one that resonates with you. I read through the book and found that it wouldn't fit with how I do things. The monthy schedule feels like a jumble to me. That doesn't mean it won't work for you.

With aging and limitations on mobility and energy, I've had to reconsider how I do household chores to balance what I can do with how I want to live. It's especially hard when one has been meticulous and can no longer function at the same level. It still irritates me to no end that I can't just zip through housework. It's especially galling that I that I need to ask for help with some things. Grrrr. Obviously, the less stuff one has, the easier it is to clean. You're definely on the right track with wanting to declutter.

Before jumping into any system, it helps to know what's important to you, what isn't working now and why. People have wildly different ideas about housekeeping standards.

The minimum for health and safety is a clean bed, bathroom, kitchen, litterboxes and no tripping hazzards. A routine to make that happen is where I'd start if you don't already have one. Think of this as the "good enough" baseline routine for times of crisis. You and you husband have been in crisis for quite some time now with health issues and grief. Please try to be gentle with yourselves.

After that, what isn't working and why? Is the house just too big to clean at your current energy level? Are there too many knick-knacks to dust? Is there an old floor that never looks clean no matter how much one scrubs it? Too much stuff in closets? Once the "why" is understood, it's easier to work on solutions.

I'm a list maker and crossing things off lists makes me feel good, so I have a schedule of tasks in Excel with due dates, desired frequency and last date I did the task. Tracking dates allows me to see progress. I've also found that some things don't need to be done as often as I thought. Those add up and give me more time and energy for other things. Since I'm retired, spending some time every day works better than marathon cleaning sessions.

Consider tools, too. I bought a Dyson stick vacuum recently - and oh my! It cleans well and is so light that I no longer hate vacuuming. Since one of our cats sheds a lot, this is a big deal.

We have lived in this big house for 41 years, and it has big closets. They all filled up as we raised 3 kids here. Now I want to work my way through them to clear out stuff so that the kids won't be faced with this some day. We aren't getting any younger. I have sent many sacks to the Assistance League for their resale shops and need to return to weekly closet cleaning.

Checking back in. I have been able to TOTALLY clean 3 rooms. Now, I am back in bed....new aneurysm found on CT scan last Wednesday. Waiting for tomorrow morning to connect with my vascular surgeon. Will most likely be in surgery by the afternoon. Will get super shower and shave the old legs in the morning. I am scared. Since my dear 44 year old son died 21/2 years ago from a pulmonary embolism.....the grief has not been kind to my health. Hoping you all stay safe, well, and happy. xxoo. Margeetx

oh, marge, I’m so sorry! You are so fortunate that it was found, and I know your vascular surgeon will know what to do. Having the accomplishment of the clean rooms, though, I hope will be your bright spot. Like when you clean a closet and keep opening the doors to admire, keep walking past those rooms and glancing in to lift your spirits, and while it doesn’t offset the extraordinary grief of losing a son (I can’t even fathom that feeling), the lift is good for your health.

Sweet MargeeTX, Now is the time to enlist your other children and friends to help you finish streamlining your belongings and caring for your house. You need to free yourself from stuff and focus on building and maintaining your health and spending time in such a way that gives you contentment and even joy. Thank you for the tremendous amount of good that you have done for so many as a lifelong nurse. Praying for you.

A fellow Texan, Cupofkindness

Marge, I hope the surgery went well. Get well soon. A couple of things that could help with maintaining the place clean is a robot vacuum and a robot mop. These are wonderful devices and pretty cheap and will largely eliminate vacuuming and mopping chores. I am happy to provide more details and suggestions if and when you are interested. Be well.

Very sorry to hear that you are back in the hospital. You were doing so well with your goals. Looking forward to hearing that you are home and recovering and getting some help to get back on your feet.

A robot cleaner is only good for floors that it can have access to, and only good for floors, period.

It won't do much good in a crowded or cluttered room and it certainly will not clean out a closet or a cabinet or have any effect on overstuffed boxes or things piled in a corner.

For many people with a house that is just too cluttered, there are numerous issues that need to be addressed before any attention can be paid to the floor, or, in some cases, before the floor can even be seen.

My daughter got one of those robot vacumns and I am not at all impressed with it. It gets around freely but I think that a dust mop would be just as efficient, a lot cheaper, and a lot quicker.

For a lot of people who are laden with clutter and disorder in their homes, the dust bunnies are the least of the immediate problems and even they may be hiding behind the excess of stuff.

First you have to clean the space before you can clean it.

I did say maintenance. Obviously, decluttering has to precede any effort to vacuum floors.