I am so sorry , Cubby. It must be quite a shock right now. You are receiving so many messages of positivity because people care for you, in your real life, but here,too. I know things will be much easier to come to terms with after, as you say, you have had more time to process it all and to learn more about it. Knowledge really is power. There is no need to be any certain way for any one else. Just do and be what feels transitional and cathartic for you. Right now, allow yourself to experience fully all the emotions you may be feeling - anger, sadness, fear, loss of control, listlessness, fatigue …..Every stage is a step with which to propel yourself forward in your health journey , and to become strong to the degree that this becomes a natural integrated ,and much smaller ,part of your life than what it may seem right now as it “looms over” you . I, too, was given a diagnosis of an autoimmune disease in my first year of marriage 43 years ago. I can tell you that I have experienced many iterations of professional thought , advice, and medical procedures as great strides in the ever- evolving medical field have taken place. You have been diagnosed at a time when things are now so much more advanced in every aspect. I can vouch for the notion that one’s personal evolution in living with things , and gaining wellness and peace ,and overcoming what now seems insurmountable, WILL happen quite naturally. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, Cubby.💕🙏