It does make sense to get what you want but I do believe you can find a house in the lower price range that you would be very happy with. I don't think you have to compromise and buy a house you absolutely hate! Look for a house in a cul de sac. You get more privacy and more land (most of the time). Look for a house in an older subdivision. It's going to take a lot of getting out there and looking! Sure, you can make an extra payment or send a little extra in each month, but in reality, how many people who say they are going to send in that extra money ACTUALLY do it? Have you thought about how expensive child care is for the future little one(s)? Consider the "what ifs" like if your child was sick a lot and your wife had to give up her job to take care of your child? The big question to ask yourself is can you make the house payment, car payments and all the other bills just on your salary?? Don't most moms like to stay out of work with a newborn for at least six months or longer? If it's imperative that you MUST have two incomes EVERY month, then I would go with the lower mortgage. If you have everything tied up in a higher house payment, it's less vacations you can enjoy, less cruises! Don't forget to figure in $400-$500 a month for child care. Don't stretch your budget so much that you would be living/working only to pay the bills with no freedom to enjoy the important things like a cruise to Alaska! I guess I just think of all the foreclosures that are in the millions, and I wouldn't want this to happen to you.

We are on our 5th house, three were brand new, one was old, and our current house was three years old. There are trade offs in every decision. Brand new houses have no maintenance, but they do involve expenses to put in a water softener, window coverings, landscaping. A brand new house can have some mistakes. Our second house didn't have duct work to one of the bedrooms. They forgot! The nice thing was, with a brand new build, it came with a warranty and all that little stuff was fixed for the first year. While I disagree that all new builds are shoddily built, that one was, but it was priced as such, and what we could afford at the time. With the old house, we had had problems with plumbing and electric, it had an old furnace that had oil heat when every other house had natural gas, and wasn't in the best neighborhood. It didn't have a lot of amenities, not even a dishwasher. It also came with costs to update decor as well as infrastructure, and even with the money we put into it, it was a beast to sell. Older homes generally don't have the features we like. Both Mr. Hammer and I enjoy having a master bath. I don't want to go down the hall to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Master suites are more common in new builds than old. I also like first floor laundry and a mud room, and Mr. Hammer insists on not only an attached garage, but a three car attached garage, other things that are unlikely in old builds around here. I want to add that we are in a time in our lives when we are very busy with family life with kids growing up. Someone said 10 years go by quickly and you need maintenance on a new build, but if you are putting braces on your kid and paying doctor bills for those 10 years, that grace period is a blessing! I am the happiest with our current house, which was 3 years old when we bought it (family was relocating). They already did all the initial costs of putting in landscaping, window coverings, the water softener and upgraded the appliances. They even put in a raised garden bed and storm doors on both the front door and the door leading to the garage. We also have the newest thing around here, a covered patio. It is wonderful! Although frankly, I think we have more things we love in our home because we paid for it. We are in a much different financial place than we were when we bought that shoddy new build with a blacktop driveway and no heat to the baby's room. What amenities I have now, I paid for them!

Re-reading your original post I am understanding that this is not a home for you, that you are seeking advice for another person. Have they picked/purchased their lot? When I was deciding between buying or building many of the lots I looked at were either in developments with planned housing where you had to pick something from a selected list of plans or they were builder owned lots where the builder would build what you wanted on the lot, but you didn't get to select the builder. Very few lots were privately owned where you had the option of hiring your own builder and architect. The one lot that I was considering was a builder owned lot. We discussed my needs and he had stock plans that he had built before that would have needed to be tweaked, but basically fit my requirements and worked within my budget. I had a very strict budget and building from a stock plan from the builder would give me more bang for my buck than hiring an architect. The lot was in an established neighborhood, the style I wanted (MCM) was the dominant style of the neighborhood. I had no truly unique needs except for meeting some fairly strict work from home requirements for my office. There was no need to hire an architect to design the home that would fit my needs on this lot and it would have taken away $$$ from my budget. When you say "Owner has basic layout set in their mind" what does that mean? Do they know how many upper and lower cabinets they need in the kitchen? How much counter space do they need? How many people will be baking or cooking meals together? How many linear feet of closet space do they need? How does the closet space need to be allocated? How large does the living room and dining room need to be? How many guests need to be accommodated at any one time? What are their daily needs and how often do they entertain? What type of entertaining do they do? If the husband or wife brings business associates home regularly you may need a different layout than if entertaining is limited to close friends and family. Do they want/need a fireplace. Do they need a space to play board games or do crafts? What is their preferred seating type and arrangement? Have they thought about where they want the TV? At one time my mom was living in her 3000 sf home with one of my nephews. It seemed kind of crazy, but she still needed the massive kitchen and dining space as she was still making dinner for her working children and their families (Amish background). Every night at 5:00 there were about 14 people coming through the door. Long before open concept was popular, my parents had an open concept kitchen, dining, family room. It worked for our large family. It met our needs when we did baking and canning and needed room for 6 or 8 people doing various tasks and not stepping on each other. My sister lives with just her and her husband, but she is the designated family matriarch since my mom passed away, so holidays are hosted at her home (30-40 people). The one 20' wall of her living room is windows with a long window seat bench. Other than family gatherings they don't sit there, but it comes in handy with a huge crowd. None of us know the intimate details of how this family functions or what their needs may be. The mass majority of people buy pre-owned homes and they work just fine. The majority of new homes being built are in planned developments where people pick one of 10 plans. Many are quite similar.

@User I think you're correct. I definitely did not get the inside joke/statement until the next day when I'd read the news. On that note, it feels wrong to weaponize incarcerated human beings in this way. Similar to how it would be wrong to weaponize building a homeless shelter (weaponizing homeless human beings) near someone with whom a person in power has conflict or disagreement.