Today's a rough day

Jasdip

A year ago Tom, my light, went out of my life. I debated going to exercise class then said that I needed to do it. I made it through my first year of 'firsts'.

At the end, a couple of ladies asked if I was all right, I wasn't my usual self. I told them and we all hugged and they said they lost theirs 2.5 and 5 years ago. They also said it's nice talking to others who 'get it', and know how tough it is losing a spouse.

I'm still going to the classes 3x/week, and really feel part of the group.

Pat, my friend with the sexy Mustang (now put away for the winter) is taking me to dinner tonight. I'll do the same in January when it's her year. They aren't called Anniversaries, anniversaries are celebrations. This is nothing to celebrate.



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Comments (47)
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graywings123

I am so sorry. Marking the passing of one who is gone is both difficult and somehow enriching to the spirit.

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Marilyn_Sue

I am glad you are doing okay.

Sue

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nicole___

It's been a year already....? Geeze....that so sucks. Sorry you had to go through THIS at all. Take care. I'm glad your doing dinner.

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morz8

Hugs, Jasdip. You made it through your year of firsts and did it very well. From where I sit, with much grace and dignity. Nothing you will do will be harder than what you've just accomplished. Please enjoy your dinner and rest well tonight.

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glenda_al



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Fun2BHere

(((Jasdip)))

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Michele

Jasdip. I don’t know what it’s like to lose a spouse. I don’t want to know. The first year is the toughest though of losing a loved one. I feel for you and I always pick up a kind “vibe” from your posts. I hope tonight is comforting for you. I’m sure you’ll be good at repaying the kindness to your friend.

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Lucille

I'm so sorry for the rough day. I'm glad you have good memories of Tom, and I'm glad you have good friends that continue to help you through the pain of your loss. Count us here as support too.

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blfenton

I'm thinking of you. I remember my mom saying years after my dad had passed away how much she still missed him just saying Good Morning to her. It was the little moments of life that she missed.

I'm glad that you;ve found a group that you enjoy. The nice thing with those regular groups is that if you're away for a time or two, they do wonder where you are and hope that you're ok.

Jasdip - if you want to, I'd love to see that great picture of Tom that you have.

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Jasdip

Thanks all!! I'm heading out to get Gino and take him for a walk. It's sunny and crisp with a skiff on snow on the ground.......a lovely day.

BLFENTON, I'll post the before and after pics. Thanks to the computer whizzes here, it's a beautiful tribute to him.

He and his best friend seeing Gordon Lightfoot a couple of years ago


AFTER: Fred and the background removed and the message is something that Tom wrote on his Facebook page, when we were in the midst of treatments.


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Uptown Gal

I am so sorry for your loss. People who had the same loss always told me

that "things don't get better... but they get easier with time". The hardest part

are the memories we shared and that only I have now. Sending you a hug for hopefully some comfort.

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skibby (zone 4 Vermont)

((jasdip))

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Anglophilia

I'm so sorry. It's hard...14 years later, it's STILL hard.

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DawnInCal

I'm sorry, Jasdip. I'm glad you have a good support group and good friends to see you through this tough day.

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sprtphntc7a

((((jasdip))).....every day is hard, some days are just harder than others....

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lily316

What a prince of a guy you had, Jasdip. What a lovely tribute he gave you. You sound like an upbeat person and you're stronger than you thought you were.

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dees_1

Seeing you write about today shows, if only to me, more of your character. You ARE a strong woman and there is nothing wrong with the emotions you are feeling. I'm glad you are creating a circle of friends with similar experiences. It truly helps with the process.


Stay the course woman. We all are here for you and care about you. My heart is with you today and every day.

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sprtphntc7a

this helps us with the death of our nephew....

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lindaohnowga

((((((((( Jasdip ))))))))))

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kathyg_in_mi

Hugs, we all are here for you day or night.

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rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7

It's fitting that the sun should shine down on you today, my friend. Does it feel like Tom is smiling at you?

I'll be thinking of you.

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OutsidePlaying

Hugs Jasdip. Enjoy your dinner, remembrances of your Tom and be thankful for the kind and lovely friends you have surrounding you.

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share_oh

Such a handsome man!

I'm so sorry for your loss... I honestly can't imagine. I hate thinking about when that time might come.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things - glad you went to your exercise class and were able to be comforted by your friends who know what you're going through.

Hugs!

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satine_gw

Jasdip, I am thinking of you and wishing good days ahead. Unfortunately Im a member of that club nobody wants to belong to.

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chisue

Chin up, sweetie! Great love, great loss, but aren't you glad you had it? I know a big piece of your world went missing. I hope you find some comfort in celebrating the love you and Tom shared. Life has bitter lessons we have no choice but to learn.

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chloebud

Jasdip, I haven't been participating here that long, but your post was so touching. You might be familiar with this quote from Anne Lamott I've always liked. Hugs to you.

“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”

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Okla Moni

(((( Sherry))))

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salonva

I am so sorry. I think it's really commendable that you went to your class and also that you shared why today is not a good day. I will continue to wish you strength

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Annie Deighnaugh

I'm so sorry. Sending you thoughts of courage and comfort on your day of remembrance. Sounds like you are doing all the right things for yourself. Hang tough.

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kadefol

((((Jasdip))))

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georgysmom2

That's such a great picture, Jas. It's tough, really tough. I have friends who have been through it. I know that some days are tougher than others, but I'm always impressed at how you make yourself go on. For now, that's all you can do. Eventually, you will reach what my friends call "the new norm".

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Lukki Irish

I can’t believe it’s been a year already Jasdip. It’s always going to be a sad time of the year for you, but I think Tom would be so proud to see how you’ve managed to pull through this year. ((((Hugs))))

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rob333 (zone 7a)

My heart is full of you, lovely lady. Sending my best and kindest thoughts. So glad you're surrounded by people who understand and are helping you.

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nickel_kg

A tough day ... I'm glad you are able to share with us and with some real world friends as well.

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cooper8828

(((Jasdip)))

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patriciae_gw

You are still managing and that is something to celebrate. congratulations

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woodsy_1

I don't post often, but I read here regularly. Jasdip, I wanted to tell you that you inspire me. You see, my hubby is undergoing treatment for stage 4 esophageal cancer. You make me see that, no matter the outcome, I can be okay. Thank you for that.

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stacey_mb

Thank you for the reminder that these dear relationships should not be taken for granted. A hope for you that sweet memories of your DH will sustain you through your feelings of loss. (((((Jasdip)))))

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yeonassky

Hugs Jasdip. So sorry today was a rough day. Glad your friends were able to understand what you were going through. I admire you for continuing to do the things you need to do including the exercising. It shows your resilience in the face of difficulties.

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hounds_x_two

Sending gentle hugs your way.

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eld6161

(((((Hugs)))))

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mama goose_gw zn6OH

jasdip, I hope today was a little better, and each day a little easier. Hugs to you.

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ravencajun Zone 8b TX

I just can't imagine it. I am so sorry for your pain. You are so strong!

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Janie

Jasdip, I am sorry for your loss and I know that the pain will never go away. You made it through a lot of "firsts", I admire your strength.

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sjerin

A year passes quickly, when it's someone else's grief. I've admired your way of dealing with it immensely---it is so easy to sit at home and not force yourself to get out amongst people. I hope that if/when I have to live through this, I'll remember you, Jas.

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cynic

You're a special lady Jas. My best to you.

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amicus

I missed your post last week, and just saw it today. Your hubby's tribute to you teared me up when I read it last year, and did it again tonight. It is so touching how beautifully he expressed his love and appreciation, of everything you were to him. I know he would be so proud that you are making the effort to still find joy and laughter in life, even when hard days make it a struggle!

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