Thank you all for your help! Saturday night we went over to a friend's house and I love their yard. Very kid-friendly, but also areas for veggies and fruits. We had him come over and help us with some ideas too. Between the ideas we got on here and the help he gave us with the shape of the yard, etc. we finally have a plan we like and can start implementing in stages. We are going to have the kids area (sandbox & playhouse) up by the house. That is the only area that gets any shade, and with these 100 degree days, well we need a shaded area for the boys to play in. We will move all the berries to the far east end of the yard, all together. We will build another planter box along that side for them. That will put the yellowjackets far away! He helped draw out a yard shape, kind of looks like a golf course green, and I like it. It will still leave most of the area lawn, which we wanted for as the kids grow so they can have space to run. But what it will help with is drawing everything together, making it look less fragmented. We now are just trying to decide what to use for the border between grass and the other areas: concrete curbing, pavers, etc. Thank you so much for all of your input. Thank you saypoint for the drawing you took the time to make. I would still love to see some pictures of other people's backyards, so if anyone has any, please post a link. I'm very visual. I do much better to say, do it like this person did, instead of creating my own ideas!

Instead of focusing on two ice makers in your fridge, consider getting a stand alone ice maker. I don't use my in fridge ice maker much and now use a table top model with bottled water, though I'm single so you probably need something larger then myself. Why such a small cooktop for such a large family? How many burners do you currently use on average? In a few years when your kids have bigger appetites, you are going to need larger pans so skimping on your cooktop size doesn't make sense to me. Also, make sure you have one really larger burner for putting the hurt on an 8 or 12 quart stock pot for large batches of pasta, soups, and stews. Side-by-Side style fridges are nice until you want to bring frozen pizza's home. A bottom freezer or French Door model has a real advantages here. "Gallon" door fridges are going to be a really nice thing for you in a few years, again as the kids grow up. With vent hoods, you can never buy too big but you sure can buy too small. The cheap ones are really too weak and too noisy to be a good choice. It almost goes without saying to make sure it vents OUTSIDE, not in your attic or in your kitchen (indoors).

Hi Southernsummer, Thanks very much for your practical advice. I tend to agree with the idea of waiting it out until they approach you. Yes, and trying to draw them in (to get close to me), might instigate feelings of disloyalty. So I will wait it out - it is the most prudent. We will not start to combine families -- my GF and I discussed the imprudence in that -- the writing is on the wall: my daughter is very close to me and demands a lot of attention, and she sees my GF as competing for that attention, hence, we would not combine families now. I am trying to avoid them spending time together -- though sometimes it is hard. What usually happens is the 3 of them (SS, my son and daughter) play nice together, often to the exclusion of the SD who is the bitterest. I don't find the atmosphere healthy, hence I avoid it as much as possible. My GF suggested we go on Disney vacation over the summer -- it is appealing, so long as we all stay in separate hotel rooms -- but I still wonder if it is ok ( my kids do not seem ok with it, mainly because they think her kids are either cold or mean to them). But starting next academic year, we might move closer to the same school district so we can be closer and support each other. But yes, time and patience is the key. Thanks again !! Pintonala

My favorite for the banquette shades is the leaf, but it's blue, not green like the chair fabric. I like how the browns tie in with the cabs and banquette, and I like the bolder pattern because it's more contemporary and fun. Are the cabs knotty alder? Very pretty. The leaf, being an organic motif, works good with the cabs IMO. So I'd look for something like it in the soft green. Or something with texture to hold its own against the wood. That medallion style one (the large sample) looks like a duvet cover or a 1930s cotton house dress. I just wouldn't use it for a window treatment. The new fabrics seem too formal for a family room and add a solid block of color to a room already dominated by the leather and wood furniture.