The only thing that really works for me is to look through magazines and on-line photos and cut or print them out and then just look at the features that I'm drawn to over and over. I begin to create a theme or a pattern, the materials I like most, etc. I realize that there are high-end things I can't have (like basketweave carrera marble floors.... ahhhh) but there are ways to approach that look (porcelain hex tile by Dal tile) that give me a similar design but without the exorbitant cost. That's what I do anyway! I look at the tiles, the layouts and the grout colors. That's important too, because it can change the entire look of a tile installation.

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Check out the NKBA (National Kitchen and Bath Association) and do a search for members/designers in your zip code. Review their web sites and their references/reviews. Hire an independent designer (i.e. someone who isn't also trying to sell you cabinets) so you get a solution that is product agnostic. As for whether or not any given designer can do modern, I would say that the best designers are the ones who can solve any design problem in whatever style you see fit and that works with your home. As someone pointed out above, just because it's not in their portfolio, doesn't mean they aren't capable. All portfolios and skills being equal, choose the designer you click with the best. You will be spending a lot of quality time together, so you should make sure it's a good fit.

They are doing what is actually possible without you paying for some design work. Look at those average costs of past projects of the firms to get a feel. Were they 200k ballpark projects or 600K ballpark? What level of details were included? Custom cabinets or stock box store ones? Flush in the ceilings support beams or a big header hanging down? Salvaged $18 white oak floors or $6 rotary peeled veneer red oak engineered? $39 quartz counters or $300 quartzite? The devil is in the details. Someone has to narrow those design details down and translate them to the construction world to get an actual priceable job. You yourself can start by getting an idea of the major players finish costs. Investigate why some custom cabinets are $2000 a foot vs the $100 stock import. Every material you are thinking of using will have similar cost/quality ranges. So figure out where your wants/ideas are landing you cost wise. There is no substitute for leg work, yours or the paid professional’s. Materials on an ambitious home remake sometimes are only 1/4 to 1/5 of the costs though. The big cost drivers are the overall scope itself. Taking down walls means more than just putting new floors in the addition. It means redoing them all to match. That can be a 40K expense by itself.