Yachter, I had it all in a tub in a little shed with my Christmas junk. I had a big party last year. Lots of relatives from out of town. All ages. Everyone was a good sport and wore the silly hats and made all sorts of noise and kissed everyone and we generally had a great time. The tin noise makers are from a party about three years ago. I have a hard time throwing ANYTHING out. I have horns from YEARS ago. The white fringe on their ends has turned brown. I had to spray the fringed ends silver because they looked so bad and I didn't want to throw them away. Finally gave them the old heave-ho this year. All the stuff was from previous years. Even the nice wine bottle cover was a hostess gift I got one year. Isn't it fun to not have to spend anything, but it still looks great!

Dont feel bad about sending the boys home. Most parents will feel better knowing that it is not a boy/girl sleep over. For activities you could have a Dance Revolution contest. The Dance Revolution is Very popular. It is an activity that the boys and girls can do. Do you have mall close by? You can send the kids on a scavenger hunt at the mall. Break them into groups with a parent for each group to supervise. Have them hunt things like a napkin from McDonalds and a reciept from JcPenny. They dont have to buy anything. They could ask people for their reciepts. Some malls may have ideas for scavenger hunts if you call mall information. As for the spa party for the girls. Do you know someone who works for a salon. They could help with hair and makeup. My mom has a friend who works partime at a Macys counter. I have a bag of perfume sample that i could send to you if you would like them. They would make a great addition to the girl goodie bags.

The party was a hit and so was my costume! We only made the deviled eggs and some Trick Or Treat Punch (frozen lemonade concentrate, orange powdered drink mix, and ginger ale and we cut up an orange to add to the pitcher). All the other food was delicious and a good time was had by all. Two of our guests didn't show up, but still it was a good time just catching up with old friends and got to meet some new people as well. Stay tuned for when I post pictures of me in costume! Brad AKA Moonwolf

Kids today (I have 3) are unbelievably spoiled and disrespetful. That's not to say that mine are this way (well, maybe a tad), but many of their friends are and it's a struggle to instill good values, respect and a work ethic when their friends and class mates have none. Much of your SD's behavior sounds pretty normal and there are very good strategies for coping with her. However, let me first say, I feel you are being a little overbearing in not letting her spend her money. She has to learn how to manage the money and that when it's gone--it's gone. I hope that money in her wallet is money she earned. By the age of 10 she should be earning her spending money. There should be guidelines established AND WRITTEN down and posted, maybe on fridge, that state something like the following: SD must make her bed, feed the cat twice daily and help set the table every day WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE and in return she will be paid 7$ each Sunday. The $7 is her money to spend at will. That is how kids learn the value of money. Of course, include SD in the discussion of her chores and allowance amount before the final decisions and stay flexible in case changes need to be made as time goes on. Have her check off her chores each day as they are done and on Sunday, if she has done her jobs well, she gets paid. If she hasn't done them well or has complained, then her salary is reduced somewhat. This teaches consequences and responsibility, which is your goal. Also, seems to me your wife is letting you take a lot of the heat and hassle and she comes out smelling like a flower. You two need to talk, big time. At the very least, she sound say "I agree with him." And never be afraid to use the phrases "Because I said so" and "Because I'm the adult." My oldest daughter was very articulate and argumentative from an early age and I found myself in the same arguments you're in. It's exasperating to try and reason with a child, especially a child with snotty motives. You won't win by arguing! Explain the "why" of it ONE time and when she starts in for round two, calmly say "Because I said so and that's the end of this discussion" and walk off or just remain quiet and refuse to engage in further discussion of the subject. Whatever you do, don't lose your cool because then you are losing your position and any respect she may have for you. Read John Roseman's newspaper columns and books. He's also on the radio--he is great. He says it's perfectly fine to have double standards when it comes to our kids, and he's right. For example, Roseman tells how he had a motorcycle but refused to let his teenage son buy one. His son complained that it was unfair and Roseman said that didn't matter. Period. End of discussion. Too many parents today worry that they aren't "FAIR" or that they're being "Hypocritical" so they let their kids do all sorts of dangerous things rather than run the risk of being unfair. Being a good parents very often means being unpopular. But I'd rather be a good parent than a bad one. James Dobson also has some wonderful parenting books. You can find them at any library or bookstore. One good point I'll never forget Dobson making was when he son kept whining and asking to stay up later because he wasn't sleepy and couldn't fall asleep. Dobson told him it was o.k. if he couldn't fall asleep, he had his full permission to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling all night long. I've used that one MANY times!!! Another point Dobson makes is that if you're doing your job correctly, your kids are going to be mad with you on a frequent basis. That's because you'll be saying "no" and they want to hear "yes, yes, yes". Or you'll be enforcing the rules and they want to be left alone or let off the hook. You're doing the right thing in seeking advice and again I strongly urge that you read John Roseman and James Dobson. Through the 17 years of parenting, so far, I've used their advice innumerable times and I've never regretted it. I've never regretted educating myself on child rearing, figuring out exactly how I stand on an issue and then holding the line. Oh, I think both of these men have websites so try a google search and see what you find. Good luck. Tigerlilysc PS--just wait until she starts dating....that's when the real fun begins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!