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Landscape Design Home Decorating Design Dilemma

A house that does not feel Like home

4 years ago

After losing on two homes due to us being outbid. we Found something we both kinda like. My husband likes this house a lot but I hate the front and have no vision to on how to love it. Please help any ideas are Welcome. My realtor said it was a farm house.

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JAN MOYER

4 years ago

last modified: 4 years ago

The thread notifications pop up, so once in a while I catch up on this one. I find myself torn between delivering a really good slap, or lighting candles for a prayer service.

The thing I keep coning back to is basically one thing only. Call it the "right now" concept. Over a few decades, courtesy of a wealthy country relative to many others, courtesy of a very flat earth with instant visuals at our fingertips, we've gotten the notion that perfection equals happiness in a house. Thousands of threads here begin with a version of "OMG. Moving in two weeks! How do I get the floors finished, the entire house painted, all the carpet ripped up before the move?" Or some version of that. It's as if everyone had one year to live.

Maybe I'm old, but I remember (as a pre teen), my parents working for ages on our new to us home. More elbow grease than can be imagined, even now! Did it ever achieve "perfection" ? It did for them! But it took some time. It took hands on elbow grease. There were, until the day they moved out....... a few ISSUES. Such as not being able to wipe the toaster off with a damp rag while plugged in. Why? Dad sawed of the polarized end of plugs to fit old outlets. "UNPLUG for heavens sake, use your HEAD" .......!! But every double hung window went up with a single finger, floors gleamed, curtains blew in a breeze. Sheets were blinding white and crispy soft, and every day brought friends from school hanging at the ugly- for -years kitchen table in what remained to the end, a kitchen with no dishwasher. Yes,! Three kids. Wash dry, etc.

That house is long gone, the new owners of now 14 years have further updated and dolled up the exterior. I occasionally drive by, note the changes with approval, see that upper window over the front portico.. It was one ugly bath- and not much convenience certainly as five folks shared it. I laugh aloud imagining ANY of my past , present, clients....................yeah. OMG, omg, omg, : )

I'll just say that was one happy house, bath and all its issues considered. Memorable parties, holidays, laughs, tears, hugs, fights, bonnet hair dryers and a ton of "make it work" stuff.

Life. .Just life.

I guess my advice, given that look back....is dig in. "Grow where you're planted" Or not. Because like most of life, it's a decision - far more than it is happenstance.

.

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Comments (432)

hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago

Our attempt at a cut flower garden

our veggie garden..

we have painted the porch, added lighting, took down 3 trees and are currently staining the deck. It is a labor of love. I am finally starting not to hate our home.

we are considering painting the brick a dark grey to better tie into the home.. any thoughts there?

thank you all for being a wealth of support during very tough times.
maggieq
3 years ago
I always look forward to your updates. And I think you have the home you wanted. Do keep sharing!
hartcm08 thanked maggieq
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katinparadise
3 years ago
It looks just lovely. Your physical investment in making the home yours will become an emotional investment as well and you'll look back soon and wonder how you could have hated it. You're making memories with each thing you do!
hartcm08 thanked katinparadise
happyleg
3 years ago
What br ICK where?
hartcm08 thanked happyleg
l pinkmountain
3 years ago
TV placement not necessarily the worst issue. The stand isn't doing the room any favors. Good suggestions on remedies.

Great example of how you can slowly but surely make your house a home. I had quite a few issues at my last house, but was able to solve quite a few over time, which was a nice feeling.
nhb22
3 years ago
From the last posted photo of your home, I am seeing a beautiful family home with happy children!!! All the decor (though I do love what you have achieved) will not replace treasured memories with your family. Take the summer off from updates, sit back and relax, and just enjoy the fruits of your labor...the kids more so than the house.

That garden will be a great family project!
hartcm08 thanked nhb22
mileve
3 years ago
What color did you use on the front door? So pretty!
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago
Small patio update.

😬
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago

In progress...
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago
@happyleg here is the brick I am speaking of, old photos

@maggieq& @katinparadise thank you so much!!
happyleg
3 years ago
I would stain it the charcoal I think that stays on better than paint constant maintenance
hartcm08 thanked happyleg
happyleg
3 years ago
I love that patio that's gonna look great you could do that stain like I said but I do like that red brick its contrasts with the roof but whatever you want
happyleg
3 years ago
Yeah that read goes with that Redwood part of the deck
happyleg
3 years ago
The house brick goes good with the deck that's what my phone was supposed to say goes with the Redwood
suezbell
3 years ago
Would not paint brick since anything painted will, inevitably need to be repainted. The whitewash look is as bad as flecking/peeling paint. If you truly want your brick darker, you might consider stain but just power washing exterior brick -- something you'd need to do before any paint or stain might make exterior brick look better.

You could try setting your tv and stand diagonally at the corner with the corner and tv creating an empty triangle space behind the tv.

Really like your wrap around front porch and yard.

Consider planting planting Thrift or Creeping Phlox on the slope beside your driveway.

[In Zone 7, Liriope with its foot+ high purple spikes of flowers each spring, stays vertical throughout the growing season, then "relaxes" to be a more flat plant after the first hard frost but, with its winter relaxed green still in place, perks up with new center growth and blooms each spring. The plants, albeit slowly, do get a little bit wider each year, eventually enabling you to thin them and put more plants elsewhere.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/ATdDi5eAzWbOrGyfRkgFti8GXp1Eo9I_yUxZWj3RZ9f71aJRXofBoSg/

If you prefer something more solid, you might consider outlining your driveway on the left (front yard) side of it. It is something you could do over time, buying several blocks at a time that you could haul home in your car trunk.

You could pour a concrete sidewalk and/or use the sturdier 4" concrete cap blocks (in lieu of thinner and more easily breakable pavers because you can expect someone to drive on them) in a way that prevents erosion or traffic from creating a bare place alongside your driveway.

https://www.homedepot.com/p/16-in-x-8-in-x-4-in-Light-Weight-Concrete-Block-Solid-L04081600030000000/312064976

You could have the blocks outlining your driveway sloped -- similar to this but using more durable blocks in case a car tire drives over it): https://www.hometalk.com/32526416/keep-that-mulch-off-your-driveway-with-a-clean-crisp-edge?expand_all_questions=1
hartcm08 thanked suezbell
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago
The current color or the charcoal stain idea? @happyleg
happyleg
3 years ago
Yeah decide which color you want the brick cause the red goes with the deck and the charcoal calls with your roof
hartcm08 thanked happyleg
happyleg
3 years ago
If you painted or stain it there's Maintenance
hartcm08 thanked happyleg
tcufrog
3 years ago
What is your TV stand made of? Can it be painted? If you paint it white it will look much better because it will disappear into the wainscotting. Right now it really stands out and draws attention to itself which makes the problem worse.
hartcm08 thanked tcufrog
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago
I can paint it.
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago
Thoughts? On shutter colors?
happyleg
3 years ago
Black.
hartcm08 thanked happyleg
Kathy Furt
3 years ago
I think North Carolina is the cheapest state in the nation? Living in the Bay Area of california, that house would be well over $2m
hartcm08 thanked Kathy Furt
happyleg
3 years ago
Happy Holidays to you & family. Stop in here with any updates. :)
hartcm08 thanked happyleg
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago
A small update. We planted a delightful hydrangea tree in our front bed.

Our neighbors always comment how they look forward to seeing our home on walks. They also comment in all its years our home has never looked this good. It is still a labor of love.
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago
@Kathy Furt Here the average home, well at least when we looked was between 160 and 190k. That’s where most middle class families were looking to purchase. Some between 200-220k and then the demand changed closer to 250k plus. Our home was a bit over 200k. Homes in our neighborhood are now selling for 250k + and those home are smaller than ours and need some TLC.
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago
An update of our basement turned play loft.

Before

After
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago
Update of our sons room.

Before

after
Angel 18432
3 years ago
Wow Looks like you have really made it your home.
hartcm08 thanked Angel 18432
Michele
3 years ago
You knocked it right out of the park!!! It’s absolutely wonderful. Looks like a welcoming, loving home. 100%
hartcm08 thanked Michele
Olychick
3 years ago
It's all wonderful! You can see with all the love and attention to detail you've put into it that it's no longer a "House That Does Not Feel Like Home."
hartcm08 thanked Olychick
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LB Interiors
3 years ago
last modified: 3 years ago
FANTASTIC home and yard! Rooms are AWESOME! Great job!
hartcm08 thanked LB Interiors
PRO
JAN MOYER
3 years ago
Great job! Good for YOU!!!
hartcm08 thanked JAN MOYER
happyleg
3 years ago
Nice & he should be happy playing. :)
hartcm08 thanked happyleg
hartcm08
Original Author
3 years ago
last modified: 3 years ago
@JAN MOYER I am so pleased to see you responded. In my kitchen I gave a small plant, the planter says bloom where you are planted. I often look at it, & think of this chat thread that was most encouraging during such a stressful time. ;)
barncatz
3 years ago
It looks beautiful! That night photo is gorgeous and your rooms!! Just darling.
hartcm08 thanked barncatz
Kathy Furt
3 years ago
Your home is beautiful. I would be thrilled to live there and raise a family there! It’s perfect
hartcm08 thanked Kathy Furt
cawaps
3 years ago
Thank you for coming back and updating us. You sounded so discouraged when you first posted, and it's been delightful to see your house and your attitude about it turn around. You've really created something to be proud of!
PRO
JAN MOYER
3 years ago
I do think "Bloom where you are planted" was on a lot of accessories from Mary Engelbreit.. Another? " Life's a chair of bowlies" Mmmmmmmm Now I must look. ( yup )

I had a mug for years with: "No matter where you go, there you ARE"

To me it simply means put the you in your "wherever. " You certainly did that !
PRO
Diana Bier Interiors, LLC
3 years ago
Every time you post a new photo I am so happy for you @hartcm08! Your house is indeed turning into a home, and I congratulate you for your work--it looks wonderful! Enjoy these precious years with your family.
hartcm08 thanked Diana Bier Interiors, LLC
Kathy Furt
3 years ago
I don’t know if you moved very far, but it is very stressful to move. We left a beloved neighborhood of 31 years for a more rural setting to cash out of our Silicon Valley house. It’s been quite the struggle
hartcm08 thanked Kathy Furt
hartcm08
Original Author
2 years ago
Thank you everyone for your kind uplifting words
hartcm08
Original Author
2 years ago
Update-

Man, this home is a lot of work. We have begun power-washing the brick-which has not been done in year's. I see the red tint more and am happy with the deck stain which keeps peeling. I was told it is due to how damp this area is with the lack of light. I discovered this week the lot extends back behind the tree line. The horror show I saw back there reminded me of why I was not in huge favor of this home. Apparently, no one who has owned this home in 33 years has ever done more than mow when needed. Such a huge property poorly maintained. 😞 Going to do our best to keep our head up, excuse my rambling.
happyleg
2 years ago
Our home was like that & had rain coming in basement. We use a stain on wood instead of paint. Don't hold power wash too long in one spot.
hartcm08 thanked happyleg
Massiel Heffner
2 years ago
Woah the house is gorgeous and it has really great bones. You’ve already done an amazing job. Congrats!
I wrote this article on how to decorate your house like a professional for free. I think you’d find it very useful:

https://rnovationsplus.com/5-genius-ways-to-decorate-your-house-like-a-pro-for-free/
PRO
Diana Bier Interiors, LLC
2 years ago
last modified: 2 years ago
Wow, @Massiel Heffner, I just read your blog post and see that you are a registered nurse. Maybe I should write an article about how to diagnose and treat your illnesses for free! Just go on the internet, find a nurse whose brain you can pick, and download a free software package on how to take your own blood and give yourself vaccines! All for free! Why bother with school when it's all available FREE on the web???
Massiel Heffner
2 years ago
last modified: 2 years ago
Hi @Diana Bier Interiors, LLC I didn’t mean to be disrespectful to your profession with the post. I apologize if it came across that way. You have to remember though that the post is for people who cannot afford to pay for these services and so looking for ideas and inspiration online is the next best thing for them. I write for a very specific group of people who fit this category. I’m not devaluating the profession but more so sharing alternatives. The same way I’d share different alternatives with my patients when they come to me and say they don’t have insurance and can’t pay for traditional healthcare services. I direct them to find cheaper and budget-friendly alternatives. We teach people how to self-inject for example with this in mind. We also teach people how to lose weight in the hopes they can achieve their goals and not have to use our services again! -this is what we strive to accomplish when we choose to help people, don't you agree? This is also why DYIs are so popular these days— not because we don’t want to pay someone to do it for us but because sometimes we just can’t afford it or it's not within our budgets. Again, I apologize if you were offended and I hope you can see my perspective.
HereWeGoAgain (Z9)
2 years ago
@hartcm08 Wow. Your house is amazing. You’ve done a fabulous job. Honestly looks like something I’d see on a designer blog. There’s nothing sad or dreary about it. You definitely have a knack for making things pretty. I hope you are able to feel some “happy” living there!
hartcm08 thanked HereWeGoAgain (Z9)
kculbers
2 years ago
You made some great changes ❣️I hope you learn to love your home more and more as you continue to add your personality to it❣️
hartcm08 thanked kculbers

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