I would remove the maple fireplace surround and tiles, and tile the wall around the fireplace from floor to ceiling. You can do something interesting with a textured or shaped tile in a neutral light solid color. You don't need a need a mantle at all.

Everything appears to be in a cool palette except for the built-in cabinetry and surround. The more contemporary backsplash is in conflict with the fluted trim on the FP and cabinets flanking it. Perhaps just removing the trim pieces and replacing with something simpler, and then painting all the wood in a cooler palette would be the right choice for you. You could use the gray from the backsplash. If you don't want to get into painting the kitchen cabs, you could simply paint the FP and the leave the remaining cabinetry as it is. You'll want to find a color that can transition between the warm and cool tones you have going though. Perhaps a grey-greige would work.

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Agree. The fluted theme is really prevalent in the den. We were thinking of covering the cut out tops on the bookshelves and dumping the wood surround, simplifying the area.

A bit skittish about painting the wood another color. They are solid maple.

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I think that what you have now is much nicer than any of the examples shown. I would not paint or tile anything else. Your backsplash and countertop are already quite busy. I would simply remove some of your furniture and pare down some accessories on the bookshelves. You are running the risk of gray overload, too. Add some other color through art work on the walls.

You can always make permanent changes after trying simple fixes first. Avoid trying to make your home look like everyone else's. We see this way too often on here. Your home is beautiful!