I have no idea where the scares mentioned originated. I used the yellow lube in the early 1960s. I am not aware of any problem ever with Listed pulling lubricants. Improvised lubricants might be responsible for reported problems. Find something different to worry about.

The old chandelier only had two wires wired into the box and the new chandelier will wire into the same two wires. All the other wires are passing through and should not be messed with. Carefully inspect the two black wires from the new chandelier to see if they are exactly the same. Any difference, (ridges or stripes) means that it will likely be the white wire. Post the photos on here so that everyone can get a look at them.

"we though it was a 220 line but it is not...each individual wire is only 12 gauge." That part of your statement makes no sense... 220V can use 14, 12, 10 or higher gauge wire. The three wire cable would typically be hot (black), neutral (white), switched hot (red).

What you are missing is that if there is no ground wire in the existing cable, there will be no ground for the circuit and any extension of that circuit. The new cable's ground wire can therefore be ignored because if it were connected it would not be doing anything. Connecting it would only mislead someone who was working on the circuit later. The purpose of the ground wire is to trip the breaker if the housing of the exhaust fan came in contact with the wiring and would shock someone who touched it. It is unlikely that someone would be touching the housing unless there is a light in the fan housing. I'm not sure what the electrical code says about extending a non-conforming circuit to a new fan but I doubt it is allowed. Of course, it is also likely that only a licensed electrician is allowed to do this work. In any case, if the installation caused a fire it is unlikely you would be insured if there was evidence the fan was not installed by a previous owner. Also, if the new junction box is metal you must use cable clamps where the cables enter through the knock-out holes. The box not only provides isolation of the connection but secures it so it can't be pulled apart. The cable must also be stapled to the framing at certain intervals; it can't be lying loose in the attic. 2 wire ungrounded non-metallic sheathed cable is rare in my area. Post knob & tube, home wiring was metal armored (AKA "BX") and the metal provided a ground to the metal boxes although it was not always reliable for long circuits. In the 60's an aluminum strip was added inside the cable to improve the continuity of the ground. Non-metallic (plastic) sheathed cable (AKA "Romex") became popular in the 50's and in 62 the electrical code made a bare ground wire mandatory for all branch circuits. For your wiring to have only 2 wires and no ground it would probably have been installed in the 50's by someone who didn't want to use BX cable. But this is not all bad because the insulation on BX wiring tended to crumble when exposed to air and is more dangerous than any other kind of wiring wiring. For any further help you should post photos of the original cable and the main panel with the cover off. Tripping the main breaker is wise but NEVER assume a branch circuit is dead without using a voltage detector. If a breaker can be turned off, it can be turned on again by someone else. Always put a note on the panel. A 120v wire can stop your heart instantly. A voltage detector is the smartest $10 you will ever spend. Here is a link that might be useful: voltage detector