Getting tired of “10 yrs and I still can’t get my living room right”
Rebecca
3 years ago
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jmm1837
3 years agoRelated Discussions
Mom died 2 yrs ago and I can't talk to anyone in my family
Comments (5)You are not an idiot and any feeling you have, you are entitled to have. However, if the feelings are destructive and there is no solution, then you shouldn't hang on to them any longer than you have to. I know it's hard but try to remember that you can't change your mother's husband or what happened. You can only change how you deal with it and by letting it eat you up, you are giving him a level of power over your emotions and life that he doesn't deserve. Focus instead on your mother's life and your interaction with her. I'm sure she knew you loved her and was proud of you. Although it's not easy to face, it's not uncommon for spouses of very ill people to develop other relationships, especially if the illness lasted for years. I'm not making excuses for him and his actions since your mother's death are tacky. But you can hope that while she was alive he treated her well and made sure she was cared for properly. You say he was a louse and she didn't see it but you also said you are just now finding out some of the details of his affair. Maybe he wasn't a louse to your mother. Her things don't matter and his actions don't matter. All that matters are your memories of your mother. Remember what she taught you and how she made you feel. Know that she would want you to be happy and to have a great relationship with your husband. She would want you to feel peace. You'll always miss her, but I don't think any mother would want her daughter to feel such turmoil 2 years after her passing. You are a good daughter for caring so much. If you can't let it go, then try to figure out how you think it should be resolved. What could he give you of your mothers that would make you feel more closure? What could he say or do? If you can figure it out, then it's worth a try to tell him and explain your issues. If there's nothing he could do to change it then you have to figure out what you need to do to move on....See MoreCan't seem to get the coffee table right!
Comments (24)Farm chic, I like the overall shape of that table, but white would not work in this room. There is literally nothing white in this room, not even the ceiling! Kkay, you know, I saw a trunk/chest in a store last weekend and I was really drawn to it but it was just a little too small. If I could find the one I saw in a bigger size, I think it might be a candidate. Funky -- I think you and I could be friends for life. I have looked (online) at that RH table a few times!! It is so cool looking. I wondered how the metal would hold up, ie would it scratch easily. I should go look at it in the store. We had a round table in this room way back when... That's still a possibility although right now I'm thinking a long table so everyone can put their feet up, and probably putting the round red ottoman elsewhere. I'm not sure about the aesthetics of a round table, plus a round ottoman, plus the square ottoman that goes with the leather chair... Finally, abundant blessings, I knew someone would mention the position of that chair. I know it's not great, but the reality of this room is that we sit on that chair and that end of the sofa to watch TV. Also, if I pull the chair out and angle it more, it gets too tight with the end table and that end of the sofa (I've done it) and ends up looking more awkward. Eventually I'm going to slide the sofa down the wall a few inches in the other direction, but that entails moving the artwork, etc...so I've been procrastinating. That might help but probably not that much. Same problem with the red ottoman -- that's for the feet of whoever is sitting at that end of the sofa (don't get me started -- DH and DS seem physically unable to sit there without putting their feet up on something). But if I had a longer table, the ottoman would go elsewhere....See More10 yrs and I still can’t get our living room right - HELP PLS
Comments (55482)Definitely a kitchen is not something you want to go oops about. Big dollars as everyone else has said. Hire a professional if you’re doing a redesign. Or even if you’re thinking of things like appliances and an island.Not a DIY project. Big investment and you need to be committed to staying in the house if you’re going to recoup....See MoreHelp, I’m living in an antique store and I can’t get up!
Comments (59)I'm going to take a different tack. After nearly a decade as a wellness nurse in an independent living retirement community, I see this as a safety issue. Throw rugs aside (well known fall risk), you should be able to theoretically walk around with a yard stick across your waist and not touch any furnishings. If you can't maintain this three foot clearance, then it's too cluttered and unsafe. Clear passages with no trip/fall hazards is a crucial part of home safety as an older person attempts to age in place. One fall can change the trajectory of a life in an instant. There are many good home safety checklists available online with helpful tips and pertinent information (cdc.gov and ncoa.org-the national council on aging are just two). Beyond the safety issue, as a daughter who spent four months clearing out my parents' home (three story home and two story garage) after the death of my mother in 2013 (my father had died ten years earlier), please purge papers and at least some extraneous belongings now. My sister and I had a paper trail going back to the 1930s to review/trash/shred. Our parents dearly loved us and yet we were driven to tears at times that so much stuff had been saved over the decades (and never looked at in the garage attic or house attic again) that we had to physically haul out and either attempt to sell (nearly always unsuccessful), take to Goodwill or the county dump. That experience absolutely changed both of us and we resolved to never put our own children in this position-we've taken steps to purge our own papers and belongings and are much more hesitant when buying more "things."...See Morewoodrose
3 years agoIdaClaire
3 years agoDLM2000-GW
3 years agolast modified: 3 years agoMolly
3 years agopennydesign
3 years agolast modified: 3 years agosalonva
3 years agolast modified: 3 years agojmm1837
3 years agoRebecca
3 years agoAnne
3 years agoJudyG Designs
3 years agolast modified: 3 years ago
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