Let them eat cake?

5 years ago

Prefaced to say that this is rural farm life.

My neighbor and his family have been associate with my family for 3 generations. He helps me on the farm as well as the community. We all help each other here. I recently did them a favor (which was not a big one), his wife asked if we liked cake, presuming she would bake a cake as a thank you.

What would you do? (I don't eat cake!) Would you just say that would be lovely and accept the thoughtful effort or be honest and graciously decline?

Featured Answer

tjkeen

5 years ago

If someone asked if I liked cake, I would be truthful. If someone handed me a cake, I would graciously thank them and not mention my dislike.

Comments (13)

Uptown Gal
5 years ago
Oh wow...that is kind of hard. Do the other members of your family eat cake?

If, so, I would just say, "oh, the family really likes (loves?) cake". Otherwise,

whew....that is hard. Sure wouldn't want to hurt her feelings, so, may have

to just waste the cake? Yikes. ;)
nycefarm thanked Uptown Gal
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socks
5 years ago
It would be best to be honest because you don’t eat cake and she could bring you a cake another time and it could become awkward. Praise/thank her for the kind thought but I avoid sweets. I did the favor because I wanted to help you!
nycefarm thanked socks
Elizabeth
5 years ago
I would tell her, politely, that no, we don't eat cake. It would be a shame for her to go though the effort only to have the cake wasted. If she insisted on doing something similar for you, you could tell her it is not necessary, you were happy to help her.
nycefarm thanked Elizabeth
dees_1
5 years ago
I presume you've already answered the question, since it appears it was asked while you were talking with them. A simple "No, we don't." is a complete sentence. :-) You don't have to explain why....the why's can get complicated.

As a rule, if I offer up food to anyone for any reason, I always indicate I am making "X" and would like to share if you are interested. If they reply in the affirmative, sharing takes place.
nycefarm thanked dees_1
share_oh
5 years ago
I agree with tjkeen - asked upfront I'd be honest and say no. If handed one, I wouldn't say anything other than thank you!

I LOVE cake btw... but since going low carb I would politely turn one down.
nycefarm thanked share_oh
LoneJack Zn 6a, KC
5 years ago
I'd say yes, but make it a cheese cake please!
nycefarm thanked LoneJack Zn 6a, KC
nycefarm
Original Author
5 years ago
I did decline saying we don't eat much sugar, it's just dh and me. I did tell her that no thanks were needed because it's just what we do for our family and friends. We do share food with them, I will always make an extra pan of lasagna for them as I know how much they like it. At Christmas we usually exchange a poinsettia and a card.
I know it's hard to accept help without feeling like you need to return the effort. I did not want them to feel like they were unable to contribute, so I was tempted to accept it and then say how much we liked it. Thought better of it because then we might end up with a parade of baked goods...
Thanks so much for your input, I think I did the right thing but was still wondering!
User
5 years ago
I would have graciously accepted it and mentioned that "we don't eat alot of sweets, do you mind if I share it with friends"?
nycefarm thanked User
annztoo
5 years ago
Your reply was fine. I would have added 'but we do love 'X'. I would choose something I know they like cooking and you like eating. May even be a bowl of potato salad or chili.
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nycefarm
Original Author
5 years ago
Maybe it's just me, but I think saying thank you is adequate. I don't want to be in the habit of reciprocating every kind gesture with unnecessary or extra effort, just knowing that you are there if I need you and vice versa, no strings, rewards, expectations attached!
dedtired
5 years ago
Be honest and say you are not a fan of cake but you appreciate the thought.
nycefarm thanked dedtired
eld6161
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
Nycefarm, It not just you, it is me too. I had to talk to one neighbor that I used do exchange dog sitting while we vacationed. When she came to get her dog, she brought a food gift. Then, I gave her something when it was her turn. I so felt this was unnecessary. I am helping you, and you me. That is thanks enough. She agreed.

I have another friend that starting giving us gifts when we drove them to the airport. Which of course meant now I had to. For this particular friend, I decided to not say anything. The next pick up I did not give a gift. Again, this is ongoing, I help you, you help me. If you see something so special and appropriate that you want me to have, so be it, but not every time we drive each other to the airport.

Ah, but getting back to the cake. I love cake. I like how you handled it. Because yes, it can become an issue when something starts to think that you love that cake! And present it to you over and over. I had this issue with candied ginger. How much of that can one eat? Yet, I kept receiving a pound of it. Finally I had to say that I have moved on from my ginger fix. (Actually, I never had one, I sampled a piece and it was assumed I loved it)
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