Closet is purged...ideas to make the remaining stuff look organized? l
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Possible to be TOO organized?
Comments (19)There is much written these days about mental exercise. That sounds to me like "blaming the victim." We don't blame cancer patients for getting cancer (well, maybe lung cancer in smokers, and even that is wrong), yet we tend to think that people with mental disorders or dementia have it because they are not stimulating themselves enough - do crossword puzzles, join a club! If that were the case, my mother would not be suffering from it right now. She is a brilliant woman who had a career she loved. Around 80 she became forgetful and now suffers from severe short-term memory loss, but there is not one historical fact that has escaped her memory. That she cannot remember current events is certainly not her fault....she doesn't even realize she doesn't remember them. I think your MIL can be compulsively organized and still not keep anything clean. I also think that if one suffers from dementia (does your MIL have a diagnosis?) that letting her keep her routines is enormously important, no matter what else happens in her life. It is not lack of mental stimulation that causes dementia, it is dementia that causes the inability to be mentally stimulated. One can be bored silly but not have dementia. Your MIL's ability to remain independent in her own apartment depends upon sameness and routine. Personality doesn't usually change with dementia. Your MIL has apparently always had social issues and still does. Don't blame her for not being mentally stimulated. If she suffers from dementia, she cannot help it. It is heartbreaking to see a parent go through this. All I can suggest to you is try to keep loving her, helping her, being kind to her. Her doctor may suggest a gerontologist and meds to help. The longer she can remain independent, the better for all of you. If that means she lives a life of sameness, so be it. It sounds like she has always lived this way, anyway. Sherry...See MoreHow to stay organized when everyone else isn't.
Comments (18)I think you can make some distinctions between "organizing" and simple daily cleanup that you might do as part of living in a family--doing the dishes, putting away laundry and so forth. --I know they're related in the sense that underlying order helps with maintenance and cleanup, but that's something for your own home; really, you don't need to clean out the attic in your parents' home or throw out their plastic containers. So it is definitely not healthy going into drawers and closets in attempt to "organize"--these actions are part of the parent-parent-child power struggle and you are seeing yourself in the wrong role. You might try a family meeting, but that could be hard without a neutral party such as a family counselor--it would be again, the 21-yr old being the family/marriage counselor. It could be done if you were able to use it simply to state your discomfort and what you feel comfortable doing vs. not, and to ASK for their support. You wouldn't be able to lay down any ultimatums, such as "you have to..." It sounds like you are already at a point at which you would need to have conversation with your dad alone, to some extent, in that you have identified him as a driving force requesting you to fix your mother--if you can't talk with your dad or if he doesn't "get it" in conversation with you alone, he won't get it in the presence of your mother. But, see, you would have to really WANT to stop being in the middle in order to propose to your father, here, I can do this and this, but I would prefer it if you would not ask or expect me to that and that. You could stay there if somehow you are able to change YOURSELF--to develop some serenity and distance from these struggles and just smile and fix an occasional meal, do daily and weekly chores as a good citizen of the family, and, if you really like organizing, graciously do so whenever your mother gives you a target drawer, etc (assuming she doesn't later accuse you of doing it wrong). Some people can manage a year like that. But, another approach as mentioned is to get out your pencil and paper and calculuate your way into moving out and continuing school on your own even if at a slower pace. You would be the one to know whether your father would be willing to discuss tuition or a loan if you move out. But, it can be done with or without their financial support. You could do either approach, and it's not completely wrong to stay to get tuition if you can manage all these other emotions and situations, but you can't really stay and stew about why your parents won't change. It isn't really good for your siblings to watch that dynamic, either, because it certainly won't be a successful strategy for them to follow as they get older. One of the reasons why protecting your siblings isn't a helpful rationale is that, under that reasoning, you would have to stay there until they all leave home....See MoreWhat type of company or should I DIY closet organizers?
Comments (10)Don't use a jigsaw to cut wood for this sort of application--you need a perfectly perpendicular, and a jigsaw's blade will bend. (Been there, done that.) Your circular saw will probably work, but you should use a square of some kind to check the angle of the blade. You probably won't need 2x4s; the bookcase-style boxes built w/ the Kreg jig are really sturdy. If you did crown molding, the Kreg jig will be a snap (you need a drill, of course). Buying the pocket-hole clamps (and the jig itself) will add to the cost of the project, but things will come out so much better (and go together much more quicky). Plus, you'll have them for all the other bookcases you decide you want to build, and the storage bench for the patio, etc. I don't know how other lumberyards are about cuts, but I absolutely think it's worth asking around at the non-big-box ones. Also, I once was going to have my lumberyard just do the ripping (since that's hard to do on your own; crosscuts are easy w/ a circular saw or a table saw). They ended up insisting that they do it all, "it will be so much easier for you," and they didn't charge more. But if you don't find a yard like mine, consider having them to the really tough stuff (ripping the plywood lengthwise into boards all the same size) and leave you the more manageable stuff (crosscuts). And if you end up needed (or wanting) to do that stuff yourself, Kreg has some great jigs for saws! Kreg Rip-Cut jig https://www.kregtool.com/store/c48/saw-attachments/p79/rip-cuttrade/ Kreg Square-Cut jig for crosscuts https://www.kregtool.com/store/c47/saw-accessories/p264/square-cuttrade/ (there are good YouTube videos of these jigs in action--worth a look)...See MoreHelp! I have 5 weeks to get my house clean and organized.
Comments (42)t-bird, surgery is 1/31. On the list: Everything! (But we've painted most of what has to be painted, so my job, unlike yours, is just getting rid of stuff and cleaning every surface, like an old-fashioned spring cleaning.) We're empty-nesters so there are no kids' rooms to clean or kids to give attention and time to. Kitchen is about 90% done, foyer (only a little coat closet and some tile and the front door) is done. Workout room was just painted and is finished except for the closet, which is full of old political-campaign paraphernalia I need to box up or get rid of, and I don't really care much if I get to that or not. Downstairs too is my office, which is a sea of papers, and a TV room and guest bath. Upstairs I have the LR, dining area, and MB, along with 1 1/2 baths. So I may be able to get all of this done. I move very slowly because of my knee, so it takes a while. I'm not going to stress about it; whatever I get done will be better than what it was before I started. Storage area in basement and garage will probably wait until later. I'll join you in a 2012 cleanup project. Mine will be to finish up whatever I haven't done, if anything, before I go to the hospital, and then to keep things in order. I'm the messy one and DH is very neat. Good luck to both of us, t-bird. And may we enjoy the process!...See MoreK R
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