Hi everyone thank you for thinking of us.

Unfortunately it's almost as if there were no news. Today our nephew was contacted by the police to say his missing brother is definitely somewhere in Europe.

The police named a specific country but the family doesn't want us to disclose that to anyone in any way shape or form so I'm complying with their wishes. Although I wish they would use social media a little bit more because I think they would get help more quickly.

Of course the next step is to hire somebody to actually find him. The family has chosen someone and I am happy enough with what he has done in the past to help people. He has found people in Europe which relieved me greatly.

Once again we are waiting for actual news. Thanks again for keeping us in your thoughts.

Following this story and very much appreciate the up date. Hoping for the best possible outcome.....a safe reunion with the family.

So glad to hear he is alive and in Europe. Now let's pray that he chooses to return home.

Really happy to hear this news even though I’m sure for you it is vague. Here’s hoping the family will be able to find out more via their private means and put their minds more at ease and yours too.

Glad you know where he is. Does he want to be found? Some days I'd like to disappear to Europe.

Praying for your nephew and your family. What a difficult situation. I am grateful for the news that he is alive. Hoping for a positive resolution.

Ded I think it's fine that you want to disappear to Europe but just tell somebody first :-).

No I don't think he wants to be found. Once he's found and says back off we'll accept that but we want to find him and hear the words. Then he can choose to be with us or not.

A huge relief to hear he is apparently OK.

What a mixture of emotions you all must be feeling - one step closer but not a resolution and as you said, once he's found he could ultimately say back off.

I'm glad he's ok. But I'm not going to pray that he comes home. I'm going to hope that he ends up where he needs to be, to be healthy and happy.

Thankfully he is OK and hopefully the person hired to find him will persuade him to contact the family with, for lack of a better word, an explanation for leaving and his future plans....so you can all sleep at night again.

Oh wow, thank you for the update. Hoping for continued positive news.

I'm glad he's ok too! Best wishes for the outcome you want and he needs.

Thank you for the updates. Hope he's found living a happy life.

Thank you for the update, so glad to know he is apparently okay. Prayers continue that this will all be resolved and everyone concerned will have peace.

Rusty

Whew! He's alive. Whoever finds him can tell you more, whether he wants to communicate or not.

Sounds like he has been found and by not communicating with the family he is telling them to back off. Why he needs to actually talk to family members to tell them this is something that bothers me. Accept that when he wants to he may communicate or he may not but why continue to bother him once you know from police etc. that he is well. If you had police etc. showing up at your door asking how you are is not something that most people would like happening to them.

Sorry, maifleur, but I disagree. Most people would have the common courtesy to tell their friends and family, "I need some time to myself to get my head together, so I will be out of touch for a while", to spare those people the worry of not knowing if their loved one has been hit by a bus and is lying unidentified in a morgue somewhere, or was kidnapped by some sicko and is being held as a sexual slave in an underground bunker, or whatever.

And if the person wishes to dissociate because something the rest of the family has done has offended them, again it would be common courtesy to tell them what the problem is. It may be a simple misunderstanding, or the family members may not have realised it was something that bothered the person to the extent that it did, but be sincerely sorry and want to stop the behaviour once they know it's a problem. You can't fix (or attempt to fix) what you don't know is broken.

Perhaps we should not derail this post from it's intended purpose of supporting yeonnasky.

A debate about people's rights to disappear and other's rights to track them down would be good fodder for a different thread if you desire. I, personally, have lots of experience with this and would be happy to contribute, but this is not the place in my opinion.

Yeonassky, good point. I’d leave a note. Glad this person is known to be safe.

So happy your nephew is alive! Best wishes for peace for all.

I heard that they've heard that he's in Europe and the family have been told what country, which they refuse to have publicized.

But I didn't hear that they've been notified any further info regarding his condition.

ole joyful

So happy that you at least know he is alive and hopefully well. I hope that all works out for the entire family.

I really understand as most of these debates rage on in my head. Do I respect his right to disappear? Do I respect our right to have peace of mind as much as possible in this world? It goes on and on and on.

To clarify we won't actually be face-to-face with him only the detective will and will relay our message and take any message he has for us back to us.

For me I have said that I would not interfere with his decisions once I have had word that he is unharmed and there of his own free will via the private detective. I think we have to do this at least to help his brother our other nephew not fret and worry as much as he has done. The nephew who is missing his brother is the one who lives with us and we see the toll it is taking on him. He is stressed and distracted and not sleeping at all well.

We are losing a nephew: he is losing a brother. Horrible and confusing times!

I didn’t realize your nephew lived with you. So yes, your witness to his having to deal with his brother’s disappearance must be very hard. My heart aches for your family. Still hoping there will be some answers soon to give this young man and you all some rest and let your mind be at peace.

I didn't realize one of the nephews was living with you - that makes for a more difficult tightrope for you to walk all the while keeping an eye on the remaining brother. My older sister disappeared from my life (and the rest of the family) multiple times over her life. She'd come back around sometimes for years at a time sometimes only briefly and I somehow felt it was at least partly my fault. Above all else, your live-in nephew needs reassurance this does not rest on his shoulders - I can tell you are aware of that and no doubt doing all you can.

Thank you. Yes he sometimes blames himself. But I remind him that missing nephew is an adult and made these choices without anyone of the family's consultation. DH and I are watching our nephew carefully. He is not alone in this.

The detective will probably have a report for you very soon, regardless of whether the young man wants to communicate with you. It will be hard to take that information as the conclusion to the mystery. Continuing to brood does no good. You all need to get on with your lives, not be held hostage to one relative's estrangement for reasons you may never understand. A 23-year-old has a lot of maturing to do -- and only HE can do it.

So happy he was located! Best wishes and hopes for him to be in a healthy, happy state of mind.

I just want to tell everyone that today nephew finally got in touch with his parents and his brother who lives with us.

I think our nephew who lives with us can finally sleep easier. He was extremely worried. His sleep was poor and he just looks ragged and distracted. Let the healing begin.

The message was not very detailed just simply said he was alive and he would be returning home at some point but no further details.

Thank you so much for your support. You truly eased my mind knowing that you were in my corner. Thank you and bless you all.

Yeona

I know you must be so relieved that he is communicating again. Hopefully this will be the beginning of some sort of rebuilding of relationships. Peace to you all.

Great news! What a relief it must be to have heard from him

I'm so glad your family has finally heard from your missing nephew! I'm sure that in time, he'll tell more about what happened, but until then, at least you know he's ok.

What wonderful news, I am so happy for you.

Happy to be reading this and very happy for your family. It must be such a relief.

Glad that he's finally been in touch, but what a terrible ordeal for him to put everyone through!

Glad he made contact and gave some indication there will be more. As a parent I know that combination of wanting to hug him with relief and wanting grab him by the shoulders and shake him!

I am glad for you and your family. That is truly a comfort.

Yes as people have said the good feelings I have right now are all tempered by the sadness and I must say anger that I feel for what nephew who lives with us and his parents have been put through. I hope he in time understands what he has done. I know his brother will definitely tear a piece into him verbally once he's finished hugging him. I cannot believe this has been going on for over 4 months now!

Definitely hug and smack news! Positive news, nonetheless.

Like you said, "may the healing begin". Best wishes for all of you!

Better to have this mixed news that at least he's alive and well. But his walkabout continues with something less than concern for the feelings of his family.

The guy decided to take an extreme step and leave with an untidy departure. From the family's perspective, the ongoing situation remains confusing and difficult. They can't sit around waiting for the phone to ring, it doesn't sound like he'll be calling.

There was a cause, whether it's a mental health one or something else going on in his life, this was what he did. He's an adult runaway of sorts. People need to come to grips with the fact that "things" will never be as they were before he left. Maybe for good reasons, maybe not. What was the cause of his actions may never be fully known or understood.

Everyone concerned needs to work through this terrible and unfortunate experience. and maybe counseling would be helpful. Best wishes and good luck to all.

This is good news and I hope he clears everything up sooner rather than later.

I am so glad that he at least made contact. Probably still lots of questions and concern but at least you know he's still alive and has initiated contact.

Thank God. As mad as people might be (and rightfully so) don't lose sight of the fact that if he had been lost to you forever you would have forgiven anything to see him.

Thank you for sharing the great news. I'm sorry for the upheaval you and the rest of his family had to experience, but he is ok!

What a great Easter present for you and your family. Thanks for letting us know.

One explanation for his departure and hiding. What if he ran up a huge gambling debt, maybe was taken in a game run by onerous operators, and now they threaten his life and limb if he does not pay. Could be that if he paid up, he suspects that he'd be maimed or killed anyway. This is a good reason to drop out of sight and cut ties to family members. Another reason: Mental problems as suggested above. Whatever the case, if he desires to come back, he has a new problem of explaining himself and confronting a very unhappy family. A third possibility: His girlfriend dumped him and he was temporarily in shock.

I do hope for everyone's sake, this disappearance gets resolved.

Thank you!

As said we may never know why. If he could blithely or not so blithely disappear for this length of time then he can probably keep his motives a secret. We love him and he would have been welcomed back into the fold no matter what. The alternatives of never being found or being found not alive is unthinkable. Still there is going to be some anger.

His girlfriend was the only one kept in the know. We found this out through the police. She only disclosed after she was threatened with obstruction. Another one who can keep a secret! Thank goodness for the police.

I'm so glad that he has contacted the family and is O.K. ... sort of, or mostly.

I hope that you can work toward finding a measure of peace of heart, as far as possible until more steps are taken toward a resolution.

I hope that whatever has been troubling him can be worked through satisfactorily.

Will continue with sending good wishes and hopes to you all and offering prayers on your and his behalf.

(((((yeonassky, family and distant nephew)))))

ole joyful