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Back to the topic of losing our furry best friends...

1929Spanish-GW

5 years ago

So we lost our beloved challenging Yorkie January 5th. I'm heartbroken. She was with us 14 years, the last four fighting kidney disease. I probably love my animals more than my people. Always have. They forgive me.

But back to the beginning. She was a rescue who bounced five times before coming to me. She was a mess - possessive, fearful and lost. She loved me immediately. She hated everyone - only in the last few years she began to branch out and give affection to our friends and family. I think she was just tired and losing her moxy as her toxin levels went up.

I've never had a problem dog before, but I worked hard to train her. We exercised like crazy - walking off a lot of stress. She sat and stayed until told to eat, heeled when we walked and knew her commands well. She freaked out when confined at all whether it was a kennel or half the house, but once she had full run of the place, she was never bad. We never got her past yelling at us for attention, comfortable going into another room when she was overstimulated and totally trustworthy around people she didn't know and accept.

So, now we're talking about what to do next. I work from home and travel quite a bit for work. I hate not having a dog. DH gets that and misses one too. We still have to decide what and when we want to do. That will be a decision we make together. It won't be me convincing him to get one.

So there's this troubled Yorkie up for adoption. She was an owner surrender, so they know the history. She sounds like our pup in that she wasn't socialized well and doesn't know what's expected of her.

On one hand, I know I'm the right person for this kind of case (if not necessarily this dog) where other people with tiny dogs won't put in the work to make them happy and better behaved. On the other hand, I kept saying I wanted an easy one next time.

So what would you do? When I ask that, I don't necessarily mean go out and get THIS dog but do you take a troubled dog because you've been successful or give yourself a break and get a laid back dog cuz you want to?

Featured Answer

just_terrilynn

5 years ago

last modified: 5 years ago

So sorry for your loss 1928Spanish.

Like many here I’ve suffered the loss of many a rescue dog. It never gets easier. There is always a void when they go regardless of how many are left in the home. For me, when the lap dogs pass it’s like losing an appendage and more. When the larger dogs go the air all around you changes and becomes still. I think it normal to think of bringing a harmony back to your world. I still grieve Taylor my most beloved dog ever. He was a big gentle giant of a Rottweiler. I think our companionship was due to how he was my other half of the bookend.

Fast forward to the tail end of the worse of our mourning and go to the filling of the void part.

We adopted an extremely high strung unsocialized untrained labradoodle who was a little over a year old. The first few times I met him I knew deep down that his energy level might be too high for us at this stage. I mentioned this to husband and the two trainers at the dog ranch. No one else seemed concerned so I put it to rest. I mean, after all, we aren’t couch potatoes. Now let me first say that this isn’t my first rodeo with neglected dogs with major issues. Let me also say that the first few months with our new family member more than sucked every bit of life out of us. A more exhausting experience we have never encountered. This must be what it’s like to birth and raise triplets. We do love him dearly though. It’s been slow and gradual but he is about 65% improved. There are still many issues. I still have days here and there when I wonder what in the heck we were thinking, then he’ll come up to me with his goofy head and human eyes and I briefly forget how much work he is.

I guess I’m telling you all this to keep a few things in mind. I don’t know your age or lifestyle. Really trust your first gut impression. Don’t let others slight that feeling. Your gut is usually right.

I can see my doodle eventually growing into a well behaved dog (maybe a little residue). It will take more work than any of the other neglected, abused dogs I’ve had in the past because I first have to catch him while he’s running across the ceiling.

EDITED to add...

Sasquatch

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Comments (49)

maifleur01
5 years ago
Go and see if you bond with the dog being aware that it may not happen because the dog is not ready. None of my animals other than one that my husband thought of as a stray have I gone in search of. When it is time you will find each other be it this dog, another one, or even a cat.
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User
5 years ago
alittle off topic .... I just wanted to thank you for giving your little Yorkie the love that she would have never gotten if it wasn't for you . There's a special place in heaven for people that cherished their fur babies . You have a front row seat. ((((( hugs ))))))))
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sas95
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
I am a cat person, but I volunteer at a shelter working to socialize cats with issues, so I have thought about this type of question quite a bit. I love every cat I work with, warts and all. But for my own pets, I prefer easier cats. I figure that I only have room in my life for two at a time, and I want more conventionally "better pets" rather than working out major issues. I am happy and grateful that there are people out there ready to take the more difficult pets, but I do not want to do that on a full time basis. .
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jtc
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
A troubled dog needs a person that understands and is willing to put in the effort. Otherwise, those type of dogs continue to be rehomed until the right person comes along.

Sorry for your loss of your sweet Yorkie.
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lucillle
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss.

Take a day and visit 4 or 5 prospective dogs of different histories. Your heart will guide you in the right direction.
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yeonassky
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
So sorry for your loss.

Just wondering...Do you need a break? Do you want one? If yes to either ? or both then ignore my comments and take a break. The difficult pup will find it's right person.

Get the troubled pup and find another easy to manage one as a friend. I'd do this. In fact...

Can you tell I have 2 dogs. Both are difficult in different ways. Both are high energy and run like crazy together though. They are suited perfectly and never alone.

I know you probably don't want 2 but it really has worked for us. Plus it made me feel better about leaving mine at home when I went to work for days on end. DS is here most days though.

Train them separately at first then together later. It helps the calm one to not pick up the crazy one's habits.
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1929Spanish-GW
Original Author
5 years ago
Thanks everyone.

We're not certain we'll get any dogs right now. I'm interested in other peoples perspectives on the topic right now.
amylou321
5 years ago
Pets should bring joy. Sometimes that joy comes from having an easy going, low maintenance one. Sometimes the joy comes from knowing that you have given an animal a chance that it likely wouldn't otherwise have. Neither choice is wrong. I have done both and will continue to do so, until i am unable to anymore. Do what makes you happy.
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Lindsey_CA
5 years ago
You say you travel quite a bit for your work. If you are going to be the primary trainer/handler of a troubled/difficult dog (or cat), then it might not be a good idea. What I mean is, if you're gone from home a lot, it would probably be better to get an "easy" dog (or cat) so there wouldn't be issues while you're traveling.
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nicole___
5 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. (((hugs))) I wanted to say your a great pet mom. So caring.

I want a dog. Had GSD's all my life and one sheltie, until I left home. I've put a lot of thought into this. Rescue is the only way for me.....and a problem dog "needs" me....so I'd do the dog no one else wants. The one that's been waiting the longest to be adopted. Maybe he/she is just old or diabetic...."needs" a full life, would be the requirement and no one has offered it, yet. I think "feral" is a hard one. My mother wanted a feral GSD. That dog never did really want an owner...or need humans. hhhmmmm.....
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User
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
I’m sorry for your loss as well but it sounds like you really made a difference in her life and that is such a beautiful gift. I think it takes a special heart and love to turn a troubled animal around like that and the rewards are priceless. I also think there aren’t enough people with that special kind of “it factor” to go around. If I were in your shoes and felt my heart tugging the way your’s seems to be, that’s the route I would definitly go. You and your DH will know “the one” when you find it, or should I say he/she finds you!
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caflowerluver
5 years ago
So sorry for your loss. I know how you are feeling. We lost Elvira, our Dachshund, the end of Sept that we had over 16.5 years. I still miss her a lot. She was the BEST dog we ever had. She was very loving and sweet. We keep saying we are not going to get another due to our age and other reasons. But it just doesn't feel right not having a furry friend around.

Regarding what type of dog to get, hard or easy, only you know what you really want. Before our last dog, Elvira, we had a difficult dog for 18.5 years. Samantha was a 8 lb Chihuahua mix. We did everything we could to make her more friendly, like special classes over the years, but she was not a sweet dog. It just wasn't her personality. She was food agressive and would snap and nip if she didn't want to do something like a bath. We kept her because we knew if we turned her over to the shelter, no one would want her and she would be put down. She became more accepting and mellow as she got older, but never loving and the type to cuddle. We almost didn't get another dog after she was gone because we were afraid of getting another one like her.

I admire you for wanting to take on another difficult case. I know I don't, once was enough for me.
1929Spanish-GW
Original Author
5 years ago
CAflower - 16 and 18 years. Wow! Mine was a velcro dog with me at least. She was very close to my DH after they got to know each other, but he still had to be careful. I could get away with a lot more.

We used to joke that her bites had five levels from teeth to blood. She never drew blood from me, everyone else was not so lucky.
User
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
I'm not going to give advice because I'm pondering the same question. It relates to cats though. I have two great 11 year old rescue dogs who for the most part are problem free.

Over two years ago I had five cats. I've had 15 over my lifetime and only four dogs so you can tell I'm a cat person. In July 2016 my20-year-old rescue cat died and the following memorial day my 16 year old one died. They were two of my favorite cats of all. Then last summer my 13 year old was diagnosed with cancer by the vet who said we could euthanize him that day or take him home for a week or two. It's February now and he's still here but the time will be coming. The tumor on his leg is very ugly looking. He still has a great appetite ,walks uses litter box and grooms himself. But then my 18 year old cat, daughter of Nellie the 20 year old, suddenly died of old age . In 40 years I've never had just one cat and that's all there will be after Henry is euthanized. The 25 pound Maine coon who is not very cat-like. I need to think about rescuing a young adult cat but I won't look for a difficult one. Henry IS the difficult one. Although I've had him since he was five weeks old, he is hostile to remaining cats and now the cat. Hisses everytime they get near each other. I was looking pictures today of all my sweet affectionate cats who piled on top of one another and slept together. Doesn't happen anymore. I want a friendly loving cat next time if there is a next time.
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1929Spanish-GW
Original Author
5 years ago
Funny....Lily - if we were talking about bosses we’d just change jobs!
marilyn_c
5 years ago
It is sad to lose a beloved pet. I agree with Lucille....find one you know in your heart that you have a connection. But I also agree with Nicole....because I always go with the one no one else wants.
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katlan
5 years ago
We lost our dog 6 years ago. He was 16 1/2, a good long life. We were heart broken. We both missed having a dog for a long time. Now.....neither of us wants tied down with a pet of any kind. Our son has a sweet little dog that we dog sit everyone once in awhile. That's enough for us.

I won't say that we will never get another dog, but the chances are slim. We just don't want to be tied down and don't want to try to travel with a pet. I know a lot of people do, it's not for us.

My sister lost her dog several years ago, was devastated and went and got another "problem" dog within 6 weeks. I still say it was a huge mistake. It's a very big, undisciplined dog even now 3 years later. So she got another dog thinking it would calm the first one down. Nope. I wouldn't count on getting a second dog to help with the first "problem" dog.

I would take a break. See how you feel in 6 months to a year from now. Just my opinion. And I really am sorry for your loss. It's so hard.
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User
5 years ago
1929 Spanish gw...It was late last night and I made a few errors which I edited but forgot to say I'm so sorry about the loss of your Yorkie who was your little sweetheart. It's rough, I know. When I look at my cantankerous Henry with his ugly leg, I feel so bad that I can't help him. I neglected to say, he's super sweet to us, it's other cats(and dogs) he doesn't get along with. He's still so beautiful and loving to us, it will kill me to take him in. I was always breaking up cat fights when he was well and that had never happened before. Everyone always got along...dogs and cats mingled freely. So I won't deal with a difficult cat the next time. But you have my sympathy. I grieve more for dead pets than half my relatives.
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DLM2000-GW
5 years ago
So what would you do? When I ask that, I don't necessarily mean go out and get THIS dog but do you take a troubled dog because you've been successful or give yourself a break and get a laid back dog cuz you want to?

I'm a go with my gut person when it comes to much in life but definitely with pets. I wouldn't look until I felt either my grief had abated enough to move forward or until I felt the need to love another pet in order to move forward - I've experienced both. And other than the most basic of parameters (ie no really big dogs or no long hair or whatever limits make sense for you) I wouldn't make a determination ahead of time especially in your case where you have a knack for bringing out the best possible in a dog with 'history'. I believe in falling in love with dogs/cats and much as I love animals I do not fall in love with every one. Maybe you'll fall in love with a needy dog, maybe your heart will lead you to one who immediately feels like a extension of you. This isn't your first rodeo - you'll know. I'm very sorry for your wounded heart and loss of your Yorkie and wish you peace through the healing.
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socalgal_gw Zone USDA 10b Sunset 24
5 years ago
So sorry for your loss. It took us almost 3 dogless years before we decided to get another dog. We are getting older and discussed getting an “easy” dog, perhaps an older rescue or retired show dog. But then a number of our favorite breed came into rescue due to a puppy mill problem. We got a completely unsocialized 11 month old. When we met her I remember asking my husband if he really wanted her, that he might not ever be able to take her places like our previous girl, etc. He really, really wanted a dog. We had a rescue before who was afraid of men but this was completely different and much, much harder. We couldn’t take her for walks due to fear, and she nipped at us at home due to being hyper excited. My husband ended up very unhappy and depressed. When I said “what do you want to do, return her?” he said Yes. We didn’t return her, it would have broken my heart, but instead I had a very unhappy husband for months, even though Diamond absolutely adores him. After several thousand dollars to a trainer/behaviorist, we are all doing better. She has basically been my full time job for the past 11 months. Luckily I am basically retired. But if I had a chance to do it over again, I would wait for the easier dog.
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User
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago
What would I do?

It's one of those situations where I know what I'm doing isn't necessarily for the best for me, but I go ahead and do it anyway.

I mean, I know it's going to happen and I grew tired of fighting it a long time ago. My husband knows this about me and no longer tries to be reasonable.

I am so sorry for the loss of your Yorkie. Whatever you need to do will be the right thing.
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User
5 years ago
I am so sorry about your Yorkie. Thank goodness both of you came into her life.
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Bestyears
5 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss -what a wonderful, albeit difficult, story you wrote with her. I don't know what the right answer is for you. There probably is no right answer -you sound like the kind of pet owner that makes the situation the best it can be. Managing a difficult dog is a LOT of work -years worth of work, so it is certainly understandable that you wouldn't mind sharing your life with a little soul you could just love on. On the other hand, you may get a sense of purpose and/or meaning through that work, which can add a lot to life too.
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1929Spanish-GW
Original Author
5 years ago
I just wanted to say thank you for this great discussion. I have a number of friends that foster and do great work with animals as well. We’re not rushing to make a decision but your differing opinions on the topic do help.

BTW we’re in our early 50’s with the financial resources and network of dog walkers/sitters that won’t leave a pup uncared for when we can’t be home 24/7.

Funny side note. When I was a kid, there were two ways to walk to school. One of them was “littered” with dogs. My mom got a call from the school about me being late every day. Guess which route I took!?!
cattyles
5 years ago
Spanish, I’m so very sorry to hear about your loss. I don’t have any advice. I have always had difficult cats and I’m tired. I hope you take your time deciding and it’s really okay to have an easy doggie next time. Thank you for starting this conversation.
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1929Spanish-GW
Original Author
4 years ago
I never followed up on this thinking we might have more than one addition to the family.

DH and I quickly realized that we needed to fill our empty space. He needed a little more time than me. My dogs have all lived to at least 12, but my little Velcro dog literally and figuratively touched me like no other.

So let me introduce Cricket, an 8 month old Maltese/Yorkie mix who is crazy silly. She has stolen our hearts. Unlike our Yorkie, she needs a friend so we’ve been looking for the right one. I’m the meantime, meet Cricket!
msmeow
4 years ago
Congratulations on the new baby! She's adorable!
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sas95
4 years ago
So cute! Enjoy her.
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1929Spanish-GW
Original Author
4 years ago
I forgot to mention we decided against the problem Yorkie. It was the right decision, but I’m sad because she’s still up for adoption.
ravencajun Zone 8b TX
4 years ago
Adorable! Looks like a bundle of energy and joy. Enjoy your new furbaby!
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quasifish
4 years ago
She is so cute!
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jojoco
4 years ago
cute as a button!
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beaglesdoitbetter
4 years ago
How cute Cricket is! Enjoy every minute with her!
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nicole___
4 years ago
last modified: 4 years ago
The problem yorkie is still up for adoption...? wow.......could Cricket be her new bonding buddy....?
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cattyles
4 years ago
I’m so pleased to meet Cricket. Here’s to many years of sweet love for you all!
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Bestyears
4 years ago
Oh my goodness, she IS adorable! I had a wonderful orange cat named Cricket who lived to a nice ripe old age.
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1929Spanish-GW
Original Author
4 years ago
@Nichole problem Yorkie needs to be an only dog. Ours was the same. :(
mtnrdredux_gw
4 years ago
Aww, that is one sweetheart of a dog. We had dogs growing up, but I've only had a dog as an adult the past 9 years. Before we felt we didn't have enough land and travelled too much. Now I cannot imagine not having a dog. It's the only truly unconditional love.
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1929Spanish-GW
Original Author
4 years ago
Ha! My Yorkie always had a hidden agenda.
gsciencechick
4 years ago
She is quite the cutie!
1929Spanish-GW thanked gsciencechick
socks
4 years ago
This brought a tear to my eye! She's adorable. Her little bed, toys, p pad, so little and cute. Lucky lucky pup to be so loved. As for the "problem" Yorkie, if it's a no-kill shelter, she'll get a home eventually. I scanned the posts and not sure what the trouble was. Oh well, congratulations. I'd like to hug her so you do it for me, OK?
1929Spanish-GW thanked socks
georgysmom2
4 years ago
last modified: 4 years ago
Soooooo cute! And one lucky dog. I'm sad the Yorkie still hasn't been adopted, but when it's meant to be, it will be. I will say this (and I'm not suggesting you adopt her) but after this much time in the shelter, it's possible the Yorkie will take kindly to whomever decides to adopt her.
1929Spanish-GW thanked georgysmom2
aok27502
4 years ago
Awe, she's a sweetie. And from the first picture, always in motion. My SIL has a Morkie, he's the cutest thing! I've always preferred big dogs, but Bocephus convinced me that little ones are the best, too.
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eandhl2
4 years ago
Welcome Cricket! She is adorable.
1929Spanish-GW thanked eandhl2
1929Spanish-GW
Original Author
4 years ago
last modified: 4 years ago
Thanks everyone. Here’s the link to United Yorkie Rescue. Brandy in California is the pup I’ve been talking about.

http://unitedyorkierescue.org/?page_id=2
murraysmom Zone 6a OH
4 years ago
last modified: 4 years ago
I really think you made the right decision. Brandy sounds exactly the same as the rescue my sister has. Though not a Yorkie, George is great with my sister, and mostly great with my brother-in-law, is the perfect traveling dog and they love him. But he will bite anyone else that comes in the house, especially children. He was described as a "pocket beagle". He only weighs about 10 lbs. and came from a hoarding situation so had no socialization. My sister only made minimal attempts to change his behavior and does not do what the trainer has instructed so they are all living together the best they can. I cut their grass so when I go over there I always wear jeans because I know George will try to bite me and he never fails to try. Most family members just won't come to their house now. When they know someone is coming, they keep him on a leash in their lap and cannot be approached. I guess it works for them.

Cricket is adorable and I wish you many years of happiness with her.
1929Spanish-GW thanked murraysmom Zone 6a OH
westsider40
4 years ago
Cricket is an adorable imp and I think, too, that you made the right decision, Even easy dogs are a ton of work.
Allison0704
4 years ago
Cricket is just adorable! So glad she is filling your hearts daily. I am also sorry about the loss of your Yorkie. We have several older dogs and cats, and recently helped our 13yo to the other side. It's never an easy decision and, damn, it hurts so much.

Back to the topic of losing our furry best friends...

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