An invitation is a request to share the pleasure of your presence with the inviter, nothing more. A small gift personally chosen by you is fine. It would be rude to point out to the inviter how the invite comes across, if you like the couple, go, if not, stay home.

Sooner or later they will cotton to the fact that all these buying suggestions are not necessarily apropos, if they are otherwise nice people, well everyone has a few rough edges and time seems to smooth them..

Wow....I'm not sure how, after all that, you can even think a kind word about them.

You are a better person than I, I'm afraid. That whole history with them is totally

unbelievable to me..even in this "gimmee" age.

I agree with Lucille and I will add the Pinterest Effect. My DIL had to have everything for their wedding that she had ever seen on Pinterest and the process of winnowing it down to something reasonable was painful. So perhaps include in your assessment of this couple the influences that weren't there just 10 years ago.

I believe I would narrow my circle of friends.

And you have never met these people? That seems strange. They probably don't know any better and are trying to do what all their friends are doing. I agree you should ignore this silliness.

Showers are for the purpose of gift giving so there is nothing wrong with mentioning registries, etc. The thing about "bring a gift card if you can't decide" is just plain tacky.

I dont really see the point of mailing a sonogram to announce your pregnancy. Especially to people you have never met.

I have never been invited to a gender reveal party and I would be busy on whatever day one was held.

Agree with Marilyn.

This would be ridiculous even for a close family member, let alone someone I'd never met.

Seriously -- I've never met them ! I'm not even close with the sister in law. In fact .... when she married my husband's brother 3 years ago , she invited HER whole side of the family and not ours ! We got a post card AFTER their wedding and said they got married with a website address so we can see their wedding pictures ! Can you say GALL ??? . Now her kid wants us to attend every function with gifts !!!

ignore, ignore, ignore!

Sounds like the apple does not fall far from the tree. If you are "not even close with the sister in law" why would you attend? No one can take advantage of you without your permission.

Showers are for the purpose of 'showering' the honoree with gifts. That is fine, and expected. But the rest of the occasions you mentioned? Sounds like a very greedy couple, to me. Why else would they send invitations and announcements to someone they've never met? Keep the pregnancy, gender reveal, and other similar 'celebrations' to close family and very close friends.

You're right, having parties and asking for gifts is getting out of hand.

Rusty

I never said I was going Tackykat ! I'm staying far away !

Good! Just venting, then!

when she married my husband's brother 3 years ago , she invited HER whole side of the family and not ours !

That’s on your husband’s brother, not her.

Send her a used diaper!

I hate to say this, but when she says jump-he says how high? *sigh*

I believe it is still customary for a gal to have showers before a wedding and before the birth of a child--particularly the first. I would not likely attend both the gender reveal and the shower. It would not upset me to be invited, I would just throw the invite away. It seems logical you are getting the baby invites due to your participation in the wedding ones. An invite is only that letting you know you are included. You then get to choose. Do these people live in your town? I stopped attending nieces showers because the price of the hotel just to attend seemed ridiculous to me. There is a line and everyone draws it where they want. You are certainly free to draw your lines.

I know someone a little bit like that...but their sibling calls them out on it LOL For instance, this certain someone is moving from an apt to a "rental" house and they are talking about having a "housewarming" party...sibling tells the certain someone that housewarmings are for when you "buy" a house. I tend to agree. But hey, if certain someone wants to have an "open house" and people over to celebrate their new move, I say go for it!! But I think it's more of what can other bring us type thing...

Since you've never met them - it's even more tacky! Do you send gifts for all these events? If so - that's probably why they keep inviting you.

The sonogram picture to announce the pregnancy seems really tacky to me. I could see sharing that with close family, but it sounds like you're actually a stranger to them!

Definitely fishing for gifts with each of these invites.

They forgot to have the "destination wedding" and expecting everyone to fly to their wedding on the other side of the country and no close airports, you have to rent a car and drive 500 miles to get to their wedding destination. That was my in-law wedding...same as yours, minus the baby.

I almost forgot, they had a cabin for everyone to stay in and share this cabin at a low cost of only $200 a night per couple.

I would send a nice card and comment"hopefully we can meet someday!"

I haven't gone - or sent a gift - to any of their events ! I RSVP'd every time that I couldn't come. They live in town ,so everything is local ... but I just can't get myself to go .

I think I'd just write on any further invites, "return to sender."

I would find every excuse to not attend. Or just send something IF your DH wants to send a gift.

My DD is in a similar situation with her SIL and their baby gift. It isn’t pretty.

This is a BGG, Blatant-Gift-Grab. You are correct to RSVP your regrets. Keep doing that with no excuses or reasons. I detest gift registries of any kind.

Reminds me of a relative on hubby's side of the family. The only time we ever hear from them is when they want us to help fund the activities of their children or to solicit gifts for showers/weddings/graduations, etc.

We just ignore them.

Only gift she needs is a copy of Emily Post. :)

First, gifts and registries should never be mentioned on an invitation. Second, if you choose to send a bridal shower present there is no need to send a wedding present unless you choose to do so - so one and done just fine. It is also perfectly acceptable to send just a congratulations card on either of those occasions.

When a bride creates her registry, even in a nicer store, it's customary to select some items of lesser value to allow those with smaller budgets for gifts to contribute if they desire. It used to be that where a bride registred was spread by word-of-mouth but with the Internet accessible registries it's quick and easy to figure this out. It's just plain tacky to put in on the invitation, it gets a "bless her heart, she doesn't know any better".

I would send the couple a book or roll of stamps with a card saying “I know you’ll be needing these for the baptism invitations and the birthday parties, etc!”

Actually, I would just ignore them but geeze, how greedy they are.

everything you got in the mail is customary. i think you are 'feeling' it because its all in one year, more or less.

save the date: normal

email with pics and story: a little over the top, but in today's world, normal

bridal shower invite: normal.... of course there will be suggestions and registries, how else will you know what to buy. if you don't like them(registries), send a gift card or money

wedding invite: normal

sonogram pic announcement: normal in this day and age

gender reveal: normal by today's standards, silly- i agree but that's what this generation 20's-30's do.... sigh... no gifts are necessary unless you want to.

baby shower invite: normal by all standards. registered: of course

Registries were created to eliminate duplicate gifts and to give the honoree exactly what she wants. i don't really see anything wrong in them and it makes your life easier in that u are getting something they really want and you don't have to put any thought into it. 'click-click-ordered-done-delivered!!! win-win!

OP: now if you don't want to attend or send a gift for your own personal reasons, that is totally your choice of course!!

but everything they did/sent is pretty standard today

Wow.... "everything is customary?" Not in my World. Thankfully, I don't have any of the

"gimmee" generation in my family. And, certainly wouldn't cave into it if I did. Would be

ashamed of them, personally.

not "standard" in my world. I cant imagine sending this stuff to people I had never met. But it apparently does not bother the senders....

Yes some people have no clue and can be ignored and should be.

Kathsgrdn----I feel sad for the way your daughter is treated. That is so wrong and her dad allowing it is even worse.

All of this is neither normal nor customary in my world, either! ! ! Sending all that stuff to someone you've never met? Nothing but outright GREED! And/or stupidity. I admire Toomuchglass for doing the right thing with the RSVP. I'd be just ignoring them.

"Kathsgrdn----I feel sad for the way your daughter is treated. That is so wrong and her dad allowing it is even worse."

I agree with tjkeen 100% on that.

Rusty

Toomuchglass, you have been kind and polite to RSVP regrets. But enough is enough, I'd simply ignore any future invitations. After a couple non-responses hopefully they'll get the message.

Not in my (outdated) world, either.

But with regard to it being kath'sgarden's daughter's fault ... I was wondering whether, if he didn't read his wife's messages (or she didn't report each to him) ...

... or his daughter didn't tell him, he might be substantially unaware of the depth, if not the existence, of the issue.

ole joyful

I'll add my "yes" -- not in my world. Double "not in my world" if we are talking about somebody I've never met. Why would somebody you've never met feel excluded if not invited to a Gender Reveal party? Too obvious for words.

You've not only never met them but SIL has only been "in the family" for 3 years! What a load of nerve! You're actually showing more class by sending RSVP than they are.

I agree that what makes this feel over the top is the sheer number of things in such a short time. But I agree with a previous poster that, although I, too, think some of them are kind of silly, especially the gender reveal stuff, none of them is unprecedented or bizarre.

Like, why do you put the word “registry” in quotation marks? Surely you have heard of bridal and baby registries before. Many people don’t like them, but they are not considered rude per se; it’s only pushing them on people who have not asked for them or expecting guests to buy only gifts that the recipients have chosen for themselves that is considered rude. You don’t have to send a gift at all, although it is certainly customary if you attend a shower or a wedding, and if you do send a gift, you do not need to limit yourself to registered items, cash, or gift cards. You can choose or make a gift that you want to give. In other words, if you don’t like the registry, just ignore it.

I can’t help but notice that you complain both that you ARE invited to events and that you WEREN’T invited to an event. People send invitations not only us gift grabs, but also to show people that they consider them connected and want them to feel included. What is your own motive when you send an invitation or share news? I assume it is not just to get gifts. Well, these are people you don’t even know, but you are ascribing only the worst possible motives to their having sent you invitations and announcements.

That said, I would be rolling my eyes at some of the stuff, too.