Favorite stage is definitely since my children's early twenties. children are their mid and late 30s. The early years were pretty good but I was very sick and so was my DH. The teen years were rough! Without too much detail DD was very angry and DS was very withdrawn. Not a comfortable place here. None of us appreciated our lives much then. Chaos I could handle upset I could handle. You're a terrible mom and I wish you were dead no thank you! Teens!

Now our children are very settled into wonderful lives. DS struggles with all of his ailments but even so is smiling and talking like never before. DD is a very happy in her marriage and career and is a loving and supporting daughter. It goes to show time sometimes does the trick.

Except that I have three children, my experience has been similar to yours. Our middle child went through several teen years when she was a PITA, but she has since become so much like me, I think we were just too much alike. She couldn't wait to get out of the house--married young (I was the same age when I married, lol) and had her first baby while still in college. I did everything I could to make sure she finished and earned her degree--which she did with high honors. She and her husband and two boys live with me. I am widowed, and this house, and yard, would have been too much for me by now. I have my own space, but they never (or rarely) have to worry about childcare, and it works very well for all of us. Grandsons are 2 1/2 and 11, so life is still a bit chaotic at times--I've learned to let the mess go, and let the parents take care of it.

The other two kids are settled, with careers they enjoy, but each lives a couple of hours away. I'd love to have them closer, but their respective partners don't want to live in this area.

Although it was stressful at times, we had a wonderful time raising our kids. My parents had a rocky marriage, finally divorcing after 40 years of marriage, so I was always aware how lucky I and my children were to have a stable, loving, respectful home life.

My kids are friends, as well as siblings, and enjoy each others' company, which is another bonus--I know that they will be there for each other.

My older son was a handful right from the start and his teenage years were tough. For that kid, the most rewarding time was once he became an adult and established a very successful business. Sometimes I can’t believe how well he has done. I figured I’d be visiting him in prison ( not really). He really makes me bust my buttons now.

The younger one was a pleasure every minute but he was such a cute toddler. I think ages three and four are fun since they interact with you. It’s just a hoot to watch them discover the world. They also still like you the best, even more than friends.

I'm not as far along in motherhood as some of you but my kid was a NIGHTMARE from the moment he entered the world until he turned 7yo. Until that point I could count on one hand how many times he slept through the night. Aren't babies supposed to figure that out after just a couple of months? Dh and I are still exhausted from the whole ordeal. The preteen years have been delightful.

I had three in pretty quick succession so those early years were tough. Then DH decided to do grad school part time and was often gone all day Saturday when my last was still a toddler. A few years later, when they were all in ES, DH got a job that had him traveling all week nearly every week so there was a good portion of time I was a "single mom" so to speak. He just retired from that job so he was still traveling a lot as they all went off to college. The saving factor? They were pretty easy to raise....good kids....never gave us much to worry about. Not sure why or how we got so lucky. All have good jobs and are doing well in that area.

Oldest is married with one child...not sure they'll have more but I hope they do. DD just got engaged, and youngest just bought a house with his long term GF...I hope they get married but they are more "hippie" so not sure they ever will.

I think my favorite time was the ES school years....they are self-sufficient in many ways, have some independence (you don't have to keep an eye on them every second) but they also still need you and look up to you.

There are days I'm grateful we have an empty nest and other days I wish I could go back and do it all over again, albeit with the knowledge I have now and ability to change some things. I do enjoy them as adults and love hearing their opinions and learning from them.

I agree with you, running. When the kids were successfully in college, then out of college and had good jobs, starting their families, then now seeing them all successful, and with our grandkids being successful too. Well, our hearts are full of joy and love. Yeah I enjoyed those cute toddler years too but this is so great being retired and enjoying life as a big family.

Anything beyond the toddler stage was great with me. Newborn was such a growing awareness of my responsibilities but the toddler stage I found tedious and boring. They were cute but beyond that I found it mentally tedious. (How many times can I tell them how far away is the moon and hoping that I keep using the same number of miles when I really don't have a clue and nor do I care)

I have 2 sons who are now 32 and 30 and not only do I love them but I like them and have liked them since they were in elementary schools. I like it when they drop in unexpectedly just to say hi and share their day. They're finished school and are settled in careers that keep on challenging them and their partners are great young ladies.

The one thing I still feel bad about is that I never taught them to cook or to bake. I wouldn't have been able to stand the mess that would have been created.

Mine are 14 and 19 and I am enjoying this time more than any other so far. I love interacting with them as almost adults, they seem to have gotten past the bickering sisters thing and enjoy each others company. I just love being with them.

A close friend at work is, I think, having the opposite experience. She loves/loved the younger stages and seems to find their growing up hard to deal with.

I have one son who will be 40 near the end of this year. I have honestly loved every stage. He has always been such a joy and he still is. He is an amazing dad to his 6 month-old daughter and his wife is like my own child, too. They live only a couple of miles from us, so I see them fairly regularly, especially now that I can help with the baby. I feel very lucky.

Everyone's opinion and experience is so interesting, and I mirror a lot of the sentiments. Our kids moved in when they were 4, 3, and 13 months under less-than-awesome circumstances. It was pretty hellish and we thought we were a temporary arrangement. So, we had the "just make it okay for now" attitude. That ended up lasting for quite a while and then they had to accept us as parents. The early years were tough for so many reasons. I like it more, every year. I like talking to my oldest like a friend, even though I'm always The Mom. My middle kid has been consistently the easiest, with an ever-developing wry sense of humor. Our youngest was undone in the toddler years and a tyrant until about 9. He's still imperious, but is so smart and expressive. I like how they're aging and our relationship changes each year as they become their own person and more independent. It's wonderful to see.

My mom struggled with the dependency of small children. I did, too.

alex, it sounds like those kids were very lucky to have you!

My experience is a lot like cyn's. I honestly loved every stage, though I will say as soon as I figured out how to handle a stage, it was on to the next. I have 3 children, but would have loved to have a few more...

DH and I were married for 5 years before we could start our family. We'd been living on my income as a librarian while he completed med school and then 5 more years of specialty training. So to make up for lost time we had 3 children within 5 years and most of the time I was parenting alone since he was working long hours. I loved my job and I've never regretted being a stay at home mom. Yet I found those early years were the easiest - from newborn through 8th grade. My kids were happy, well adjusted, bright and their problems were minor and fairly simple to manage.

High school and the teen years brought more complexity and while they were still the same kids their choices and experiences now had greater impact on their lives. And so I worried more.

As a young mom I heard or read someone comment that the job of a parent is to put themselves out of work. DH and I took that to heart and tried to help them on their way to independence. They did well in college, 2 have graduate degrees and my eldest is married and expecting his first child in a few months.

All 3 live within 45 minutes and we see them regularly. They own their own homes and have good jobs and they actually seem to enjoy each other. What a treat for me. And I love seeing them as they mature.

DH and I were discussing parenthood today as we contemplate our new roles as soon-to-be grandparents and we're certainly curious to see what kind of parents our son and DDIL will be.

But as I think about being a Mother I readily confess to some sadness. Only one of my children is married and my greatest hope is that the other 2 find a special someone in their lives. I'd like to know that they have someone to love, someone they can trust and confide in and share the good times and the bad.

My oldest was a handful and every single year has been difficult. Easier now that he's 26 and does not live at home, but he is still dependent on us in many ways and has some mental health issues so it's still hard but at least not 24/7 any more. It is a very complicated relationship. More pleasant now, and we all like each other a whole lot more now that we're not living together, but always complicated.

For my other two, I think age 4-5 was the best. Some independence, out of diapers, could take them almost anywhere, yet they still wanted to cuddle and thought I was awesome. :-)

Least favorite age -- 17-18, that last year before going away to college. I'm in that right now with my youngest DD and it's been a real roller coaster. She was the easiest, calm, respectful kid until about 6 months ago. Now almost everything I say/do is wrong or stupid or makes her miserable. My older two (boys) also had their issues at this age but this one is particularly hard, I guess because she's my only girl and my "baby." Sigh. I know this is normal, this separation thing, but it still stinks.

And my easiest kid, who is 23, moved across the country last summer. Double sigh.

Fun to read this. Mine are 4 and 7 and are the best ever right now! But I know not what lies ahead :)

Different stages have different challenges and different rewards. I don't know what it would have been like with two "regular" kids since my older son has intellectual disabilities. I love my relationship with both of my kids, but I think I would be really happy now if my older son was not living at home. He is VERY easy to have around, but it means I still need to live my life according to the schedule of a dependent. But, maybe I'd hate it! Someday (soonish) I hope to find/create a situation where he can live out of our home, hopefully with his own community of friends, activities I didn't plan, go places I didn't drive him and eat meals I didn't prepare. He is not all that interested in moving out...we have made it entirely too comfortable for him here.

Both of our kids were miracles and because of that, I probably looked at being their mom a bit differently, as I was beyond grateful to be "gifted" with each. I was told in my early twenties that I'd probably never be able to get pregnant, due to severe endometriosis. Bad enough to have had two surgeries and several procedures for it. Sixteen months after we married, we were presented, out of the blue, with the opportunity to do a private adoption. The baby was due in 3 months, so a decision had to be quickly made. We said yes, and our beautiful son came home to us the day after he was born. We were madly in love with him from that first moment they put him in our arms. He was a mellow, easy, happy, very affectionate toddler and little guy to parent. Such a joy! But, that said, I'm the oldest of nine kids myself so being around young children was second nature to me.

Anyhoo, nine years later, I was totally floored to find myself pregnant for the first and only time in my life! But, at 5 months. I developed preeclampsia. At 6 months it was severe enough that I was put on strict bedrest. At 7 months, I went eclamptic and our tiny 2 lb 14 oz daughter was born by emergency C-section. She spent her first 2 months in the NICU and it was a very frightening time for us. Right before my physician took me to the delivery room, he told my DH and myself that I would never live through another pregnancy and highly recommended that he tie my tubes while doing the C-section. We agreed and that was it.

So, with each of my kids, I pretty much loved and appreciated every stage of their lives. Both are natural born leaders, and did very well in school. Thankfully, both were easy teens to parent, with no drug, drinking or discipline issues. DH and I are pretty mellow parents, and both our kids did like spending time with us, although they were active in sports and had good, close friends as well.. College years were also easy for them and for us. Both attending DH's alma mater, the University of Oklahoma, which is about 8 hours away from us, so we didn't get to see them as often as I would have liked. Now, DS is 34 y/o, happily married, and living in Augusta, Georgia, which is where his very specialized career took him. He's now the boss of his own group/office or whatever they call it, which makes him very happy but it also makes it more difficult for him to get away long enough to fly home very often. I very much envy those of you whose adult children live close by! And DD, at 24 y/o, is in grad school up in Colorado. Like me, she's an organizer, with her home and with her friends, and seems to be always the one planning outings for her group. So she stays very busy, but we have a happy, close relationship and she calls me pretty much every day just to chat. DS calls us about once a week. If I had to choose the best time, though, it was those years when we were all together at home still. Before DS went away to college. I miss having my son and daughter close by!

I wrote a few years ago about my grandson who was living with me and had disabilities that prevented him from making good decisions. The word doctors use is executive reasoning. He didn't like to work, had delusions of grandeur about his intellectual abilities, and would have been happy to have us support him forever. He was my first grandchild and I love him totally but was so worried about his future. Sueb20, you were one of several who wrote and comforted me just by assuring me I wasn't the only one in this situation. About five years ago he moved to California with his parents and loved it there. He met a girl who was very smart and adventurous and she loves my grandson beyond reason. They moved to Hawaii for a couple of years and have lived in Portland, Oregon a year or so. We have been waiting for her to realize his limitations and drop him but it seems she comes from a culture where women are not well treated by men. She values his kindness and patience so much that the fact he will probably never make a lot of money doesn't matter to her. She is about to finish college and will no doubt be successful in every way. He works at Starbucks and calls it his "dream job".

Jmck, you sound like me a few years ago. I understand exactly what you are saying. I hope your story has a happy ending,too.

To get back on the original subject, my four children are ages 37-47. They like me and each other and I like them. I am another who struggled with the dependency of small children. I wanted children desperately but felt such a burden of responsibility for them that I didn't enjoy them as much as I should have. Being a grandparent is great for me; all the fun and none of the responsibility.