Hello, Since my mother is in a "foster" home there is little control on my part regarding alarms & such. With her dementia she has had many falls(104#) & a visiting nurse suggested an alert type of alarm fastened to her when she tries to walk on her own. The owner/caregiver would not allow this as it would disturb the family & other tenants. I can understand this, but I had a disturbing phone conversation with my mother last evening. When my mother said goodbye & put down the phone at the dining table she said "I can't move, you have me blocked in" & the reply was not very nice. What this is all about is that they feel they have to lock her wheelchair(okay),but when I have "dropped in" there has been a thick phonebook behind her chair at the table so she can't move. She feels "stuck" & I'm not sure how to handle this. Any suggestions...alarms or not? Sharlee

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pssst.... natesgram..... you're ON the HD conversation side!! There are 3 options for the Decorating forum - Discussions, Gallery and Conversations. I bet you have a link set directly in your favorites and that's why you don't think about what the actual title of the forum is.

You are not wrong for feeling that way, but after 5 years, it's highly unlikely he's going to suddenly change on his own. Life appears to be more than ok.....for him! As women, we sometimes just want those big lugs to figure it out on their own because it will just make us feel so much more valued that we didn't need to tell them what we see as the obvious. My experience is sometimes ya just gotta lay it out there. So just because you didn't have "the talk" before, doesn't mean you can't have it now. I wouldn't even presume to tell you exactly what approach to take because you know him better than we would. But I do know that with my husband, if I broach any topic when I don't have his full attention is doomed to fail. Insert sporting event, on his laptop/PC, online shopping. I find conversations in the car to be productive. Used to work with my kids too. Captive audience. No shame in saying that you're feeling spread pretty thin and need some more help. Not sure what his skill sets are. If he's a passable cook, no reason he can't throw together a casserole from time to time. Even say he's going to be responsible for meals on Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Whatever you work out together. Get on a schedule to check the pool water......does he do other pool maintenance? Even if he's never actually paid a household bill, he should be very aware of what the household expenses are via regular "family meetings". I pay the household bills but my husband is acutely aware of all the details. If you can shift some other responsibilities his way, maybe the bill paying won't bug you so much. I wouldn't turn that one over until I really trusted he could go it well. Laundry? Change the sheets weekly? Why not? There have to be enough chores that you can both agreeably distribute. Good Luck! Looking forward to see what's he's making for dinner next week :)