I have no solutions but do have experience since I have the same thing. I just wanted to say that it's good to see you post and hope all is well.

The only improvement I saw for me was not to use under eye concealer since it only seemed to amplify what I was trying to diminish.

No experience or advice but also happy to hear from you! Warmest wishes to you for good things in the new year.

I suggest using "reddit" or "essential day spa" to narrow down a google search. There'll be people who've reported on their experiences.

When I experienced issues with prominent lines, I discovered that it was caused by dehydrated skin. I've tried a few things this past year and have settled on an oil cleanse to remove makeup/sunscreen. Then I use a hydrating cleanser from CeraVe to remove the oil. My very favorite step is next and I pat 1-3 layers of Hada Labo Premium from forehead to chest. It has several variations of hyluranic acid (which holds moisture) and urea (mild exfoliant and moisturizer). Then I apply a moisturizer or my night time retinol. I have other stuff but they're for sun damage/protection.

I'm almost 49, so there are some lines. My changes have reduced their appearance by quite a lot, though! Fillers may be the answer for you, but I listed my stuff in case you'd like to take the time to try topicals.

Another who's happy to see you post :)

Thanks everyone! I am doing very well. Working hard and even dating!! Things are good with my ex and I am truly over him. Strange. Guess after the initial shock and sadness of letting go and then realizing how much better your life can be on your own..... everything falls into perspective. I am truly happy! I appreciate you all for writing and helping through this time!!!

No to make myself feel better about my stupid wrinkles!! ;)

Amy, with what you've done with your life and your ability to bounce back, it is likely your dark circles and puffiness only age you in your eyes (pun unintended!). You're dating! Go with it!.

I'm with skibby - no undereye concealer or powder.

Glad to hear that you are feeling so positive and that life is better than you imagined it would be! Happy new year!

Thanks you guys! I never ever wear concealer or powder under my eyes. I do not use foundation either. I am going to make an appointment and see if there is anything I can do. The wrinkles and puffiness really make me look so much older.

Terriks, I would never in a million years thought you looked 61! Wow!

So, Terriks, you were not happy with your fillers?

Ak, I'm glad to see you too. Happy that you are doing well and moving on.

There are a few women here who have had fillers and botox type procedures. Hopefully they will see this and advise.

My DD, who is only 31 has started various injections to ward off those small wrinkles and lines. She goes to a doctor in NYC and it's costly.

She is happy with the results, but they don't last long. She seems to go every six months. You have to be prepared for the upkeep.

The only long lasting thing would be surgery.

I will also be following this because I do believe some products do work better than others. I think it is a matter of finding THE products that work for YOU.

I have puffiness under my eyes. The only thing for this is surgery. I also have dry eyes and there is a chance that they could get worse from this procedure.

Terez, I'm betting you look just as good without the sunglasses!

I am so glad to see you so positive!!

Realize though that often there is some grieving to be done, and a rebound relationship can further disrupt an already fragile recovery.

I know, I sound like your mother, right? I am hoping the very best and brightest of futures for you.

I've had filler in my cheeks and temples, and go in for a Botox "fill-up" every 5 to 6 months. I'm a proponent of most of the products I've used, but have never had anything done beneath my eyes - which is not to say that I couldn't use it there, as I too have a good deal of under-eye wrinkles. I did have a product (I'm thinking it was Belotero) injected into a couple of wrinkles on my chin and was initially very pleased with the result; however, it proved to be very short-lived, and for the cost I wouldn't have it done again. The Voluma I've had in my cheeks has been another story entirely. It's been about 2.5 years since I had that done, and my doctor even says I don't need a "top off" at this point. Some of these products are quite long-lasting; others don't last long enough to make it worth the high cost, so definitely do your research and adjust expectations accordingly.

I'm so happy that you're happy and doing well. Definitely nice to see you posting!

Twenty ago I had cross-hatch type lines under my eyes removed with CO2 ablative laser and it vaporized them. Best $$$ I've ever spent. There was some downtime involved, however. As a bonus the dermatologist also did my upper eyelids for a slight lift.

Amy, so happy your life is good! It’s great to hear from you.

I had a blepharoplasty (eyelid lift) in 1995 along with a laser procedure on my lower lids to take care of the dark circles and some wrinkles there. Recovery in the uppers was about 2 weeks before I could fully wear makeup. Lower lid total recovery was about the same as there is redness and flaky skin for about a week, and again no makeup. I took Benadryl for the itchy skin for a couple of days. I absolutely love the results of both. I am now 70 and have followup Botox around the eye area about twice a year, which the surgeon recommended for maintenance. And btw my DH had his eyes done a couple of years before me. His were really droopy.

I’ve also had juvederm and Voluma, both of which have lasted a couple of years for me and are more expensive and have been done around my marionette lines and cheeks, not eyes.

Add me to the list of having some experience in this area. :)

In 2003 (age 58) I had a blepharosplasty, uppers and lowers. It was primarily to get rid of hereditary bags under my eyes. They were really bad by middle age. Not a lot for the uppers, just so there was a balanced look. Despite the extensive bruising, it all healed and went away in a few short weeks. Dark glasses cover most of it. Not much pain at all. The bags were gone.

A year or two later I noticed that the undereye skin looked crepey and that stood to reason. I had a full-face laser treatment, the kind where you look really terrible afterwards but after a couple of weeks your skin looks amazing. It took care of the crepey-ness. I would imagine that a more localized laser, similar to OutsidePlaying, would be fine restricted to the undereye area.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago. There were slight hollows under my eyes. It's always something. Enter Restylane filler. It works really well for me there (not Juvederm!) and lasts generally 15-18 months or longer. I also have a bit of Voluma here and there, as does Ida. It's also long-lasting.

I get a little Botox every 3 months in my forehead and in my laugh lines. I can move everything just fine. It's really a miracle when it's done right.

You can see from all the posts that different procedures and/or products target certain areas. I would make a consult appointment at your local plastic surgeon of choice. They've seen it all. They will listen and tell you what your options are. Then someone else will come in and talk about cost.

Good luck! A little bit of this or that can make a huge difference in one's confidence.

I get a little Botox every 3 months in my forehead and in my laugh lines. I can move everything just fine. It's really a miracle when it's done right.

This is so true! The idea that Botox renders one's face immovable is very outdated -- or possibly the result of not going to a provider who knows exactly what they're doing. My doctor is a miracle worker, and is able to give me a brow lift with Botox that works wonders. (And I can still make facial expressions too!)

Amy, I was thinking of you yesterday and glad to learn you are well and happy.

Would these procedures also help with those smokers lines above the upper lip? Never smoked but those vertical lines are the one thing that really annoys me.

Great to hear you are getting on with your life Amy. And I always love these threads about fillers and the like. I've never done any, and probably never will, but it reminds me why some people the same age as me may look quite a bit younger (at least in my opinion). I just can't bring myself to inject something under my skin that didn't grow there naturally though I'm sure it would do wonders.

I have a neighbor who must be at least ten years older than me and doesn't look it. Her face looks a bit tight though so maybe she had some kind of more invasive work done.

SueB, the fillers will work for lip lines too. My dr recommended that I consider it when I last had filler in my cheeks...that was over a year ago and I'm not quite ready to go back. I'm not sure I'll do it though as I think it can give the lip area a "fat" mustache look. I trust my plastic surgeon but I saw his wife on TV recently (hgtv....lol) and her lip had that look...so...I think I may just live with the lines. The volumna for the cheeks really makes a huge difference for me...like a mini face lift.

Lip lines are tricky, in that lips can be a not attractive giveaway that fillers have been used. As the nurse was injecting me last month, she said, "you're gonna hate me for this" as she jabbed some filler into a particularly deep line under my bottom lip. Ouch! I said, "I hate you!" We both laughed and it was over. The good thing with fillers is they contain lidocaine or something like that so you only feel the initial poke and then there's numbing.

Depending on the area of your face being filled, some bruising can result. It's a bit of a crapshoot. I had a tiny bit under one eye this time, but concealer took care of it. Anyway, it's something to consider. If you normally wear glasses, it tends to obscure it.

I totally agree with what Bunny and Ida have said about the procedures being a miracle if done right. You need to trust your plastic surgeon to guide you on the treatment right for you. Talk to people in your area who have had these things done. I don’t know about online reviews on these things, I would tend to trust real people I can talk to though. And yes, be prepared for bruising. I almost always get a bruise around my mouth area, seldom around my eyes, but occasionally do get a tiny one there.

Sueb, I agree lips can be tricky. I am noticing my vertical lip lines, especially upper lip, more these days. Ugh! Don’t like this look at all. I try not to drink with straws too much anymore. I have been using more and different wrinkle cream things. And of course it is almost time for another Botox round, so we’ll see what my doctor recommends. I had some very slight lip filler last year. I was very hesitant as I didn’t want duck lips, and I actually was very pleased with how I looked after. But it didn’t last long, maybe 6 months.

How much does one budget for this type of thing on an annual basis (just in case I change my mind). It's not currently included in my retirement budget.....

3katz, I don't budget for it. It's in the "very discretionary" category for me. I happen to be a good saver, and am always under budget expense-wise at the end of the year. (I just closed out my personal 2018 and am several large ones to the good.)

Every October, my doctor has a a promotion/gala event in the afternoon. The line goes almost around the block in a quiet residential neighborhood. While the prices aren't slashed, you can save a few hundred dollars by purchasing items at the event. You don't have to use them then and there, as they are "banked," i.e., you have credit towards the product. Every year I buy three kits of Latisse for the price of two. I only use two/year, so at some point I won't have to buy any for a year (store it in the fridge). I got a deal on Botox and Voluma, plus I already had some Restylane credit. Last time I went I had all three and walked out without paying. Well, I already paid, but that was a few months ago and I kinda forgot about it.

Today I saw a woman in Trader Joe's, nice hair, makeup, clothes. But she had duck lips. They weren't large, just obviously ducky. I would take thin lips any day over that look.

Last night I watched makeup videos on youtube and stumbled across a video about under eye concealer done by a makeup artist. He used several products for the eye area and then he held up a bottle of an eye serum that had caffeine in it. Apparently caffeine is great for puffiness.

I looked on Amazon and found quite a few with great reviews. Apparently caffeine gets the blood circulating under the eyes. You might try something like that before you do botox.

Caffeine Eye Serum

I tried something (filler? Botox? Can't remember.) for those marionette lines on either side of my mouth. All I got from that was puffiness that made it look worse. Now I just keep smiling like a fool for subterfuge.

Oh, wow Delilah, that's really too bad. That absolutely shouldn't happen with the right practitioner and product.

Glad to see you hear Amy and hear you’re doing well!

Terriks you look half you age!

I tend to skip over these threads because it really drives me crazy that women focus on this superficial "appearance" wrinkle, aging issues. We cannot be distracted by this stuff! You are strong, valuable women who should not be focusing on wrinkles and things that don't matter!

Figure out what is important (and how you look is NOT important) and move forward in your lives. If someone cares about how many wrinkles you have, they are NOT worth your time and attention.

But I care about how many wrinkles, I have, Olychick. :)

I totally get what you're saying though. We don't want to get bogged down by appearance insecurities but the truth is how we look can be important to our self-esteem.

I've just starting watching Dr. Tonks on YT and she's a cosmetic doctor in London. About lip lines, she says it's important to fill the lips before the lines, otherwise, the lip falls forward and it's not a good look. She says you can end up looking "a bit like a monkey". She starts explaining the lip injections at the 4:10 mark in this video. Warning: it's a graphic video of a doctor injecting fillers all over a woman's face. (I love watching her befores and afters because I've been finding the differences so subtle that I don't think they'd be worth the money for me.)

That's not really the point, Oly. Skim over these threads, certainly, but no need to preach to those of us who know what we want and are fully equipped to get it. Perhaps how you look isn't important to you, but it IS important to me and countless other women. By the time we're of a certain age, we're well aware that it's not the most important thing in life and is superfluous in the overall scheme of things ... but so is home decorating and the color of car we drive and the style of handbag we carry and our chosen hairstyle and what we wear to a wedding.

Figure out what is important (and how you look is NOT important) and move forward in your lives. -- I'm sure you mean well, but I truly don't have one damned thing to "figure out" at this point. In fact, I consider it empowerment to be able to call my own shots as to how I'm going to present my face to the world.

Everyone cares about some kind of "appearance". Your garden, your runner's physique, your face or hair. where you live, what you drive, ad nauseum. It could be that you want to appear that you don't have the same likes or preoccupations as others. It's still a personal preoccupation with appearance.

Just because other's interests and preoccupations aren't the same as yours doesn't make them any less valid.

Okay, I'm still wondering what one might plan to spend on something like this assuming you are going to keep it going for awhile. Like I know how much I spend on my hair in a year - what would I want to plan for if I were to fill in a few lines here and there?

Though I haven't been into this, and may never be, I agree it's kind of like any other appearance thing - what you wear, what you do with your hair, etc. Looking my best makes me feel great. I'm happy slouching around the house in my sweatshirt without any makeup and not doing my hair but I feel different when I'm "fixed up". It has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks about me, just how I feel about myself.

3katz, it really depends on what you have done. Botox costs me roughly $850 a year, as I'm going almost 6 months between visits at this point. I'm going tomorrow for Voluma in my temples, and that will likely run $1,000 or so. I shouldn't need to have that done again for at least a year. I've also had laser treatment on broken facial capillaries, and that was extremely beneficial. I'll probably go back and have that done every year, because if you're prone to broken capillaries, you will have more crop up. I believe it was around $400 for a 30-minute session.

In terms of wanting to look better... I do not see a problem with doing certain things that will make you look and feel better. I realized the wrinkles and puffiness are also accompanies by crepey skin. I hate that area. If I can do anything to get rid of or improve it I am definitely going to do it. I did make an appointment for the 16th. I have a good friend whose father is a dermatologist and recommended a cream. I need to get the name of it. I am sure my eyes are worse given the stress I have been through. Also, I work a lot and do not get the sleep I need. I think given all of this my eyes have suffered greatly.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their experiences and suggestions. It helps tremendously!! I will keep you guys posted.

3katz, I get Botox 4 times a year, 1/2 syringe I think, mostly in my forehead, between my eyes (those two vertical lines between my eyes, know what I mean?). It runs about $300 a session because there's a points program you can apply to future costs. Where I go this would cost Ida $600 since she gets Botox twice a year.

I don't color my hair. If I did, I'd need a touchup at least every 4-6 weeks. I'd want it done well. How much do I save not having to do that?

I just looked at prices on a couple of invoices I saved. With discounts, I paid $875 for Voluma and $495 for Restylane. The Voluma lasts a year or so, fills general low spots and deeper lines. I don't use it to inflate my cheekbones which are fine. Restylane is for my undereye area and will last 15-18 months. It's the difference between a hollow, haggard look and a smooth area that doesn't look "done" at all. So, based on my usage, it costs me maybe $200/month, although I don't get stuff every month.

As others have said, we all have things we care a lot about, that others would consider nonessential, even frivolous or shallow. Why shell out money for new bedding? Who's gonna see my bedroom anyway, and why do I care what they think of it? My car is 15 years old and it drives just fine. If I were unable to afford groceries or pay my utilities on time because of my vanity expenses, I would have a problem. I have enough of what I need. I can even give some away. If someone wants to feel better about their appearance (hello, makeup? haircut? laundered clothes?), go forth and do so.

So good to see you, Amy. Happy New Year!

Oly, I totally get what you are saying. It's so hard to find the right balance between feeling good about how you look, feeling authentic and not obsessing. I dither between all the options. I am pretty vain though, and will probably do more, rather than less on this front as time goes on.

As for figuring out what works best, the Hollywood folks do us a great disservice. Without a doubt I would eschew all cosmetic procedure if they were to make me look like some of the people I see in the press. But just yesterday I was commenting to a woman about how great she looked and she told me she had Botox and fillers and you could absolutely not tell- that was enticing to me.

PS I am also one of those people who feels better looking good regardless of whether anyone sees me or not. It makes a huge difference in how I feel psychologically if I look bedraggled by my standards.

In addition to things like getting enough sleep, make sure your home is humidified. It is so dry where we are in the winter, I can see my skin shrivelling from day to day. We just invested in a big whole house humidifier. It makes such a difference in how my skin looks and feels.

ETA: terriks, if I look half that good at 61, I will be a very happy camper.

Good filler is done so that you simply look refreshed. You should never come away looking like you've been noticeably plumped up (you may have swelling, but that will subside). It's all about subtlety, and I do believe that the proper delivery of these products is an art that not every provider masters. Case in point is how obvious it is in many faces - and yes, a number of celebrities do come to mind to illustrate the point. Then again, they may look exactly as they intended to look. As my grandmother used to say, "Well, if that's the look she wanted, she sure got a good one."

Dr. Dray recommended one product for the under eye that I might get: colorescience - total-eye-3-in-1-renewal-therapy-spf-35. It's sunscreen for that delicate area, brighteners and colour correctors for the blue cast and a cooling metal applicator to help reduce puffiness - it makes sense. I'm not prone to puffiness but when I do retain fluids there, I hold a clean spoon on my eye and it helps.

I already have Colorescience's Sunforgettable powder brush sunscreen which I love having on hand for touchups during the day.

Topicals are all fine and dandy but can only do so much. A good doctor can steer you to the right solution, aktillery. Don't be afraid to ask all your questions when you go for your consultation. There are no stupid questions.

I've been doing some online research for plastic surgery...and while checking out different before and after pic's was surprised what a difference blepharoplasty (lid lift)...especially the bottom portion makes. I've contacted two office so far, one requires a fee for a consultation and one does not. We'll probably go to both. The one that does charge will put that fee towards the cost if you end up doing with them.

I was re-reading some of the replies...regarding lips...I will say and not to brag but I was blessed with nice full lips...boobs...NOT so much :-0

Re bottom blepharoplasty, https://www.lidlift.com/eyelid-plastic-surgery-beverly-hills/lower-eyelid-surgery/

How do you know whether you're a candidate for filler, though?