As someone trying to DIY 'design' a new build with a Salvation Army budget and little furniture to start, this thread has been really interesting. I appreciate all of the insight.

Scrape off some of the "salvation army" budget, yank a design consult for a day or two, and forget ALL about furniture for this moment. You put that design effort to a good plan for the kitchen and baths, cohesive and pleasing surface selections, and ANY element that will be expensive or difficult to change.

THAT is not money spent , It is money invested with an often long term , and huge reward.It will pay you back in no regrets.

Sectionals and lounge pits? Forget that. For now.

Many years ago I ran my own business, so I fully understand that profit has to be the bottom line. My business was a low cost mobile pet vaccination service. I would have loved to help every small pet store and grooming establishment who called and asked to have a vaccine clinic at their store, but the reality was that it took 15 clients per clinic to pay for the staff. My advertising would bring in some clients, but the bulk of the clients were store customers and this was just an added service they could offer their customers. If they didn't have a large enough client base to bring in the business I could not afford to lose money by offering a service to their customers. Some I would just turn down, some I would offer a six month trial to see if they could build the business and some I added to our schedule with confidence that we would have a successful clinic.

I never put it out there that every pet store and grooming establishment should have a clinic. I never pushed them into believing that their only road to success was through offering a vaccination clinic.

The same goes for designers. There are people who you should persuit as potential clients. It may include offering free services to earn the opportunity. You will win some and lose some, but the wins are golden. Word of mouth at the country club could keep you busy the rest of your life. Then there are those who you help based on their ability to pay for some combination of product and service. There has to be a scale. You will never be able to help the people who are on a small fixed income and have a $500 budget to redo their livingroom.

This is why, before stating that the OP should try to convince her hubby to let her hire a designer or making her feel she can't possibly do this on her own, we need to understand the size and scope of her project and her budget along with her geography. ($500 in NYC isn't the same as $500 in Podunk) Can a designer provide assistance and be compensated solely on product? How much will be product and how much needs to be hourly. We have to discover where the economic feasability lies between the clients needs for assistance and the designers need to earn a living.

It is a fine balance and Houzz is an open forum, so we will get people who fall below the economic fesability scale. They need some quick, free advice that will help them make a good decision. They don't need to be pushed to hire a designer or architect and told that they can't possibly do this without professional help.

I think our OP is one of those that is on the cusp. She may be able to afford a designer and may be able to find a younger, less experienced designer that is growing their business and she could turn out to be a 'client for life', but will probably not be within the focus of the highly successful, established designer.

I think she could successfully find a designer to work with, but the original designer she interviewed was giving the message that the project was not really within her focus and left the OP feeling somehow inadequate. That is not nice and probably started the OP toward not wanting a designer. The push on this post nailed her to the decision not to bother with a designer and just go it herself.

Hmmm. I see something different, Jennifer.

I see the OP saying repeatedly in the original post that she doesn't have the desire or knowledge to design. That she has the money to hire a pro. (I have to take her at her word when she says her budget is healthy.) That it is an external influence (spouse) who is preventing her from taking the route she would naturally take--hiring a pro. That she is willing to learn with a crash-course of reading.

The outcome was going to be the same *no matter* what any responder answered. She was always going to do this alone. No one pushed her into it, except her spouse.

@ lindsey (still misses Sophie) I pretty much agree with every word you wrote. I do think though that the "dilemma" is exacerbated by a lack of specifics about budget and scope of work involved. Which puts it pretty much in good company with about 90% of Houzz dilemma posts.

Yes, that too. Along with a change of mind midway through thread. I wish I had, I can't have, I'm fine, :)

Relationships are tricky. Just one reason a good designer is also a really decent "shrink" lol

otterplay, you might try the Home Decorating Conversations forum for feedback. A lot of the members there used to be on the Home Decorating forum and helped each other decorate houses and rooms with little to no professional assistance : ) .

What sort of style are we talking about?

I'm keenly interested in design, but am a complete amateur. I've been reading shelter magazines and books since I was in high school. Here's a thread from the summer that might be helpful,

https://www.houzz.com/discussions/book-recommendation-to-learn-the-basics-of-interior-design-dsvw-vd~5348619

From my post in that thread, the following suggestions, along with the +1 to Laurel Bern's and Lauren Liess's blogs, and the recommendation to find as many books through your library first before buying:

Interior Design Master Class: 100 Lessons from America's Finest Designers on the Art of Decoration by Carl Dellatore: "Creating a library-worthy resource on design, the volume’s editor, Carl Dellatore, recruited one hundred top American interior designers to contribute essays on a particular aspect of design, interspersed with examples of their work. Useful for both aficionados and professionals, the volume reveals the meticulous and often heady process that goes into creating great interiors." There's a very good good write-up and interview with the author at the design blog Quintessence.

Habitat: The Field Guide to Decorating by decorator Lauren Liess (who is basically self-taught, which is why she calls herself a decorator rather than an interior designer), who has a great blog (not updated much anymore) where she has explained her choices and decisions.

Mary Gilliatt's Interior Design Course by Mary Gilliatt

Domino: The Book of Decorating: A Room-by-Room Guide to Creating a Home That Makes You Happy by Deborah Needleman

The Perfectly Imperfect Home: How to Decorate and Live Well by Deborah Needleman

Some earlier helpful threads in the GardenWeb Home Decorating forum:

Where to go for "Home Decorating 101"?

What's your favorite Interior Design Book?

Some people have an innate sense of style and good taste, and a natural sense for proportion etc, but for others it's something that does need to be cultivated, especially in the past 50 years or so with mass marketing, mass media, and the trend toward homogenization (the Pottery Barn/HGTV/Pinterest effect). I'm often reminded of quotes by two of my favorite designers, Albert Hadley and Peter Dunham, which seem appropriate here.

Albert Hadley: "Obviously, you can’t have much of an opinion if you don’t know anything about what you are talking about. You have to have some education or some exposure. I am always interested in young people who have some kind of knowledgeable background about the business and about the people who have been involved in it over the years. … When I was growing up, I was educated mainly from magazines because in those days that’s where you could get at it. All of the magazines were so fabulous because they showed how the best of the best people lived — the ladies and gentlemen of style and taste, and what their houses looked like. The articles were wonderful and many of the magazines in the thirties had marvellous illustrations by the artist of the day."

Peter Dunham: "I see a lot of people in the States, who basically want to live in a hotel or have the look of a hotel. I think this comes because, and this is a really snobbish thing to say, the American experience is much more limited. I mean compared to England, where there is always kind of a fancy house in the country near where you grew up, even if you grew up in a little village. In Europe, at one point or another, you are exposed to these palettes and you see the pinnacle of the amazing beautiful chateaus in France or the great country houses in England. Whereas I grew up thinking my inspiration is Lord and Lady something-or-other, who had an incredible house with incredible colors and beautiful paintings and furniture and it was all mixed together, and it was kind of roses and 17th-century Chinese porcelain. A lot of people here want what they last saw at the Four Seasons Hotel."

Also, +1 to secondhand books on Abebooks.com.

I want to be clear about how i see the "need" for interior designers. I don't think you need an ID to successfully decorate your house. There are people on this thread who are brilliant decorators and they are not pros. Then there are people like me who feel very comfortable with their ability to decorate and pull together a house, but might be interested in pro help to make the design better, more fearless. And then there are people who are not confident in their vision/taste/capabilities and for those people, I think professional help at some level is tremendously helpful.

Whether that is working with a designer at a very high level on a master plan and color scheme or working on a more granular level where the designer drives the choices that are on the table are two opposite ends of the spectrum and can help people who are not as experienced or "schooled" in the process.

PS People who are not pros, but are confident decorators, have probably read hundreds of books and decorated countless houses in their minds, playing around with what works and what does't over many years. Decorating is a hobby for this group of people and with that comes a level of experience and confidence over the years. Some people on this thread have a tremendous library in their heads to draw inspiration and lessons from.

Not everyone needs some type of a professional somethingortheother to define the world for them and not everyone wants to live in a photo shoot.

Personally, I value the serendipity of personal expression much more than the carefully chosen and orchestrated composition of color, lamps, rugs and kitchen cabinets.

You are the one who is reflected in your choices. So, why allow someone else to tell you what will reflect you,and, make you happy where you live?

But, if you want something that is beyond what you can buy at retail level, you will need someone with a trade license in order to have access to that market, usually. Now days the internet and online sales are cutting into that market and can eliminate the designer as the middle man, with some research on your own.

I have found it is difficult to get anyone to come to the house and do a small job anymore. They all fancy themselves to be remodelers when all you want is a carpenter or a plumber. They don't want to install a new toilet or replace trim in the house. They want the big bucks for a remodel.

Maybe it is because I live in an affluent area and there are enough big bucks jobs that these tradesmen can compete for them.

We did hire a company go to build a porch last summer and it has been both a headache and a disaster. One of the very few experiences with hiring someone and it has not been positive. It makes me more of a diy person. The heck with them!

I currently don’t have the patience to go thru all the replies, I am so confused, why do you think you need a designer/to read about design rules? I guess aesthetic choices have always been a)quite limited for me/predetermined b)can’t imagine giving over aesthetic choices to others because I have an idea of what I like and am not too worried about impressing others (not that I am in any position to do so lol), maybe very slightly concerned but in all no. If I was trying to set up something commercial, or impressive then maybe...

But that being said, is this some kind of huge project ? Don’t you have constraints that will limit choices? (budget, furniture stores in your area, preexisting flooring, windows, walls, doors, trim, ceiling height, house style, personal objects) Do you a have sense of personal style-how do you make clothing choices? I agree with others, you can’t give someone instant understanding (like a visual eye), and in a case where you feel utterly hopeless, and have no confidence whatsoever in your choices, it is better to rest on those with more knowledge. ThIs can mean copying others persons designs from magazines, they often do break down the elements for you, (even down to paint companies, colour chips, furniture suppliers), or even asking someone whose choices you admire.

And to add to the above, if you have no aesthetic interest at all, if it is meaningless to you, and I think it musn’t be a big part of your life at this point, why do you care? No offence intended. If you want an impressive look, it might make sense then, to hire someone.

So if you had the patience to go through all the replies, you'd see that the OP considered all the opinions and has decided to do the project herself, with the aid of some books. She's moved on.

Ok, just puzzled by the question of being “forced” to design, and the hubby thinking a designer would take away from their aethetic choices when it didn’t seem they had made any clear choices at all, or had developed a design direction. Just confusing to me.

Folks, read the thread. Hubby doesn't want to pay for design. End of story : )

You make a lot of assumptions. If you have no interest in it then you shouldn’t feel badly at all. Your initial post sounded like you were starting from a clean slate, with no decisions made.

we are just living in different worlds

"You have Heard" Please forgive me. What does it matter who has been hired/ what has been procured in your area? What difference does what happened up the block, or the next street over, make at all?

Why are one, both , either of you making these assumptions based on one designer interviewed? Correct me if I am wrong on that, please.

I do apologize, but I think all of us simply tried to help. Marital relationships are far more important than design. If you are ( or in the posted Q even seemed) excited, eager, enthusiastic about your project? I doubt the thread would have grown to this length. Quite the opposite, it seemed to be approached in a clinical, analytical, "oh well, If I MUST sort of manner! On pages favored by design ENTHUSIASTS be they gen pop or pro. Just saying all anyone would wish is that you enjoy your project to the fullest extent , and get the most pleasure you can from the result. Merry Christmas , whatever happens or does not. : )

I don't know where you live, but if there are any interior design programs in your area, maybe hire a student or recent grad for a helping hand/sounding board. There are many mature students, the kind for whom decorating has been a hobby, in such programs who need help to develop a portfolio.

That's a neat idea, Rita!

Otterplay you are extremely gracious.

Once you get into a project, post your project on Houzz. There's a lot of good people with great design ideas that can help you along the journey ;)

Find several photos of your favorite decor & layout. Copy your favorite findings. Reference to them when shopping. When I got started before computers, I would draw the space to scale on graph paper. Then on another paper draw furniture to scale. Cut furniture scale drawings out then move & place to figure out spacing. Take photos of each layout & print your favorites. Also post them on Houzz for feedback & suggestions. Then do a color study board & collect samples. See them in natural light. Light effects colors, so always bring samples home before buying. start buying the biggest items 1st. I would start with the smallest,easiest, least costly room 1st. Hopefully it's a success. If not, then you can hire help for next room. I believe most anyone can do whatever they put there focus to. The thing I learned as I got older, time is precious & some people are just faster and better than I. Wishing you success with your projects.

There are a lot of free tutorials on YouTube. Go to youtube & search your subject.

Youtube also has a lot of tutorials if you want to go all out and learn a design program like sketchup or 2020 design.A lot of the design programs are difficult & $$, but it's available.

YouTube also has audio books to listen to.

I've read this thread with much interest. We moved to a new area into a new home six months ago. I debated whether to hire a designer for the main living area or do it myself. In the end I decided to do it myself and hold off on a designer until we need to paint in a few years and I figure by then we'll also need a new sofa and chairs. It's currently a typical off white builder's paint, but it's new and fresh so at this point I couldn't see spending thousands to repaint, as I'm sure a designer would want to do.

I think most people of average or even above average means are very intimidated by designers. There is no standard fee structure and what you pay seems vague and differs from designer to designer. You can't compare apples to apples. And most people feel a designer has no interest in working with people who can't afford a $10,000 custom sofa or original artwork, as an example. I went to a neighbor's home for a meeting and her home had been professionally done and was beautiful. It was clear my neighbor had substantial means and even she said she was exasperated at times trying to keep the designer on budget.

And most, myself included, don't know what questions to ask, what is a typical budget, how can I be sure the designer will "get" my taste, etc. For the average person hiring a designer seems daunting and overwhelming.

Books ... anything by Ben Pentreath, and his blog is excellent as well.

https://www.pentreath-hall.com/inspiration/

https://www.amazon.com/Ben-Pentreath/e/B003ZLVZIW/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1

Mary Gilliat wrote a number of interior books a while back, and you can buy them for pennies. They are FULL of useful information: even if the style is dated, the knowledge is endlessly sound. I've picked up plenty at thrift shops. She's not fashionable any more, but she's very very good.

https://www.amazon.com/Mary-Gilliatt/e/B001HPFY0I/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1

Laurel Bern is an interior designer who writes extremely well, suitably opinionated, with a good eye for design, and she's very generous about sharing her expertise. You can learn a ton by reading through her blog.

https://laurelberninteriors.com/interior-design-blog/

This is a really interesting conversation! I have friends with execrable style who've made a right mess of decorating their houses with the help of reputable designers, and I have friends with exquisite taste whose houses are featured in glam magazines, but they've never worked with a designer in their life, nor need to. Takes all sorts, I guess!

Remember too that designers and decorators don't always get it right. When I re-did my home in 1996, I interviewed 3. One wanted to update my 1973 decor by going with turquoise in tile, rugs etc. It would have been hideously outdated in 10 years. The other was obsessed with my large front hallway, which in her opinion needed a baker's rack with decorative pottery. I had 3 young children at the time so breakable decor at eye level was not going to work, and also if she looked at my style, I'm very plain and not given to decorative doo-dads. The lady I went with got most things right, but not all.

Lol funny! Ten basic truths of hiring any designer:

You have the final say.

You are in charge of the total resource #

This is a "dialogue," a conversation between adults.

There is ONE goal, and that is to get you the pleasing whole, in a manner BETTER BY FAR, than you would achieve on your own.

Cut and and paste all above until it reaches the number ten.

Add one. "Most things right" is a lot better result than turns up so many days on these very pages or am I insane? : ) ( note to self: see "final say" again..... )

Just to be clear I'm not complaining about "most things right". It's better than I'd do on my own. But even with my good designer, she had initial suggestions where I asked her for an alternative. I didn't expect it to be otherwise. And I had suggestions that she advised against with a good rationale, and I gladly took her advice.

Here’s an option:

https://www.modsy.com

I’ve not read through all the comments (I got bored when, as usual, it turned into a s*it show) so forgive me if it’s already been mentioned, but this might be useful:

It is the text book from my college intro to interior design class (obviously you’d probably want a more current version).

And here’s a preview of the contents:

Edited to add that you might need to click on each photo to see it in its entirety.

Sammy - which edition is that? Amazon has a few ... thanks (and I heartily agree with your first sentiment, lol).

https://www.amazon.com/Karla-J.-Nielson/e/B001ILOCOU/ref=dp_byline_cont_book_1

Bubblyjock: It’s the second edition. Here are the ISBN and UPC:

And here’s more info:

Like I said, it’s an old one...like me! ;)

Color Inspiration Palettes

http://colorpalettes.net/

Get an "in between". And they do exist. You won't have the advantages of trade sources, etc. But you may find a gem with style, taste, and a total willingness to consider all you now own and in combination with respect for your budget as she helps you consider new acquisitions. Perhaps a far more enjoyable experience for you as well. Not all decisions are all or nothing decisions.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/interiors/home/could-home-stylist-save-marriage/

Jan, I noticed that you used the pronoun of "she" in reference to a designer. I wonder if you find many men in your profession. And, I wonder how well received a male might be by the client. Do you have any perspective on that?

Do you remember Christopher Lowell who used to have a TV show? I used to enjoy watching him. He had a unique perspective.

And, I used to watch Lynette Jennings. She always had an intellectual/historical/artistic element to what she presented.

I don't watch TV like that anymore.

She. Habit. : ) I'm female. TONS OF SKILLED men in the field. I just get tired of typing he/she and she /he

@sammy Thanks for the book suggestion. It looks terrific.

As for the discussion here, I think its been very instructive, not at all a SS. Unfortunately, as @Jan Moyer noted, the OP started things off with a mixed message, so people responded to different parts of that message.

As an interior designer myself, I have garnered a great deal of information about what potential customers expect, and have reluctance about, in hiring a designer. I've also learned a lot from the other IDs who posted here, talking about the value they bring to a project.

We all are aiming for the same goal, no matter the budget or style. Which is why we keep reading the postings!

Happy Holiday Season!

Wednesday morning, your mention of Lynette Jennings reminds me that she had a great book called "No Compromise Decorating". (I don't know why I passed it on - my house is full of compromises :)) I do remember she wasn't a huge fan of white walls and explained how they'd take on the hue from everything outside, i.e. trees. That was a lightbulb moment for me.

I really liked Lynette Jennings. She is still active in some field. I looked her up recently.

I'm pretty good at doing my own decorating, but used a designer to help me when I was new to this area and didn't know where to shop. She is a decent designer, but her business skills were terrible. I was her cash cow for months, getting invoices monthly for $1,500 to $2000 for hourly fees that she refused to itemize. Lots of smoke and mirrors in her billing.

In my area consumers can window shop in one of the major to-the-trade design centers. I became friends with the manager at one of the showrooms and found out that my designer did not pass on the discounts that her contract spelled out. She was billing hours and then markup on retail. Her response to this was to change her contract to make it even more vague (in her favor) and try to have me sign it!

We parted ways, but live in the same area, so I have made it a point, when appropriate, to mention her name as the designer to avoid. I have emails and statements to back up all my complaints.

I did find another designer to consult on my projects. She is great at design and the complete opposite of the first one when it comes to business/billing ethics!