We had a related problem trying to match gumwood to pine window casings. Because different woods absorb stain differently and have different color undertones you may need to have different stains for the two kinds of woods to make them seen the same. One might be cooler or warmer than the other. You will probably have to do some custom mixing from among the ready-made stains, and try them out on scraps of the wood you're planning to use. Remember also that whatever you put on at the end to seal or finish the wood may make it warmer or more amber in color.

No don't do any "pop" on the front door either inside or out.

Is the dining room the larger space we're looking into from what appears to be the living room? If so, do you really need barn doors (or any doors) there? Barn doors are going to be a very prominent feature, and I'd worry they might overpower the space and limit decorating options. If that is the dining room, consider too how close barn doors will be to the slider. Isn't that going to be really busy? I just think you have such a nice open feeling in this space right now, and I would be very hesitant to close that in with bulky-looking doors. There are so many other options for achieving a farmhouse vibe. That said, if you're determined to have barn doors, I would agree with your boyfriend and go with the lesser obtrusive white.

do you have to have window coverings? and no. no blue curtains. lol. if you msust cover them, get some type of blind that only covers the window portion and noe of the wall. If you can do an inside mount, perfect. otherwise, mount them on the trim. (but only if you really need to) blinds.com is a great place HomeGoods has some good throws, pillows and little plant thingys you could procure. take a trip there, w/a female if possible. some other blues blue/grays. I like the newbury. but you need those white accents to balance out the dark.