- Find good attorney and get free consultation and hourly pricing - you will need him/her.

- Find land / (find a realtor who will be looking for lands for you)

- Find a builder who can consult you IF this land is really build-able.

- Start looking for an residential architect: make sure they are NOT commercial architect firm - or you will be waiting for two years on him / her to complete the school, the library and the job for MOMA.

- Important an architect must match your desired style. If you like modern - someone who designs farmstyle projects ... may not be the best candidate.

- Tell them budget is 2.5mil ... buy the time construction completed it could be 5 anyway.

Find a good local architect that understands your style. They can help advise you the the land options you Are looking at. And they can help you select builders who share your wants and needs. A good architect can be expensive.... but you need that advocate for your dreams

Its a good time to be a contractor lol.

Here's the simple order:

1) Lot, which will dictate how much money you have left you have for the actual construction.

2) Compatible architect.

3) Designer or interior decorator.

And, as already warned, control your desires or that budget will be quickly blown!

*****

do people who live in mansions buy their appliances from home Depot?

If the price is right. (They've even been known to put their pants on one leg at a time.)

Where do you live now? What kind of house, what kind of finishes, what kind of neighborhood?

That is to ask, do you want to build what you think you should have? Or to build what you need? Is this your first time building?

Start with what you need, and remember: sometimes, people with money keep on having money because they spend frugally (not cheaply, but not overspending). Consider Warren Buffet.

It sounds like you would be over building for the area you are in? is that correct? How many other houses worth $2 - 5 mill in that area?

The thing I'd do first is look at homes in your area for sale or not. You can use Zillow including Recently Sold for details and pics. If you find one or more you like - if it's for sale buy it. If not inquire about the architect. The Building Department can help you with that. Or the listing agent. The architect will know which builder he worked with. And which designer also for the finishes.

If you have a specific area there are often people on this board who can talk about an architect who's designs fit the architectural history of the area.

Here's an example in Austin.-

We're currently building in Portland, and we have a builder we LOVE who I think would fit your profile perfectly (he actually lives and has worked in WA in the past). If I can figure out how to message you I'll send his info along.

edited to add: I think you have to set your profile to allow messages for me to message you.

how do you vet a luxury builder?

Ask your architect, various subcontractors, and interior/kitchen designers for referrals.

how do I find an architect?

Do several internet searches for "residential architects [your city name or ZIP code]", and study their online portfolios and what they say about their practices/firms. I, personally, decided that my focus would be on sole practitioners, and narrowed everyone down by that single criteria. Next, only those who enjoyed designing my style(s) made the cut.

After that, I created a list that included name, location, and specific features I liked on their "About" page. These were little clues into their personalities, things like what kind of photo of themselves they chose (granddad with granddaughter and dog). One guy used a cool font to showcase his rather unusual surname, along with a pronunciation guide (something I can relate to, lol). Another's sense of humor shone through, with a few puns and (kinda dated, but awesomely geeky-nerdy) pop culture references.

You can also try to find houses you *adore* and knock on the front doors, inquiring who the architect is. I have only been inspired to do this once (so far), but my husband wasn't entirely comfortable with me knocking on some random person's door on a sleepy weekend afternoon. :-D But I remember where that house is, so all hope is not lost, lol.

4. Financial Advisor?

For an architect, check out Peter Bohlin.

Even something simple; like buying a lot.......full of golly, gee wiz fun. Can you get and what will it cost for it bring in water, sewage, electricity, gas. Don't even figure it is 'already there' for you. If you do find a great lot with a perfect site for a house, is that perfect site where the leech field needs to be placed, rather than your dream house.

Land. Are you buying a lot that is alluvial soil and will liquefaction in an earthquake, are you looking in a costly flood zone, are you in love with a lot with rubble soil and you need to sink down cement piers to keep the soil from shifting. Looking at a charming lot with a creek running through it? How high does the water crest? Are you looking at land with covenants; lets say you can't build unless the lot is 5 acres or more. How long are you going to wait for a percolation test?

Just saying that it is quite a long haul building a custom home and you must find an experienced local architect to guide you. And whatever you have originally budgeted, add at least 30% for the unexpected and for the 'gotta have' finishes. When I remodeled our home in San Jose, the 'school fee' the city charged was $20K. That was on top of the permitting fee and the uptick in our tax base. Been there, done that.

I would also suggest that you tour as many homes as you can so you can get a feel for what you like and don't like.

Congrats on the startup windfall!

I'd agree with above sentiments that your architect can help you with a lot of these questions - ie: they will have a structural engineer that they work with and almost assuredly a great contractor that has previously realized their design work.

I'd agree with Mark Bischak that Bohlin is second to none, I'm friends with the Canadian contractor that did their Kicking Horse Residence and it's amazing! https://bcj.com/projects/kicking-horse-residence

That said, if I was building my absolute dream house in Washington state, I'd be calling up Olson Kundig.

Good luck and please feel free to DM to nathan@bldgworkshop.ca if I can help with any questions in your pre-design process!

*Olson Kundig* swoon.... but definitely outside my budget!

get a good architect that can help you develop a program with a vision that does justice to a house like this.

If you are a modernist, execution will be key. Simple ain't easy, and it's more expensive to provide a level of fit / finish without "adornment" that can cover a multitude of sins. So finding a builder that can perform to that level throughout the build is critical as well - architects likely have relationships with builders who can execute the vision.

This could be an incredibly fun adventure, or a nightmare, depending on the people on your team. Look for responsible people who are good communicators and good collaborators. Collaboration is especially important since you want the "house to have a very eclectic artistic feel and I want to be heavily involved in designing it". You need to find an architect and builder who can work with you to make that vision a reality. Ideally you would assemble your team at the very beginning... even before you have land.

You will need a structural engineer. Your architect will recommend someone. Other team members for a project like this: landscape architect, interior designer, smart home consultant and energy consultant.

Here are a couple of articles on choosing a builder and choosing an architect

Tristan - my husband said to let you know that he’d be happy to chat smart home type technology. He’s also a tech startup guy and electrical engineer, and he’s very into all this for our house. He finds (as your husband may if he’s a tech geek) that he knows more than most of those advertising themselves as smart home consultants, so it’s really a matter of him working with our electrician and builder to get things they way he wants. And a lot of talking with other tech geeks who have build high tech homes.

Take your time cannot be said often enough. You will face numerous delays anyway. This project will not come together as quickly and easily as you would like- nobody's does. So invest in learning. Beck sharp's advice is golden. Saturate yourself in this topic. You will not regret it.

Don't jump into this project with both feet. Take time to LEARN:

- Start reading about house design. The Not So Big House series is a favorite around here, and it's not really about small houses -- it's more about efficient use of space. Start at the library and read everything they have.

- Read this board. You'll learn lots fast.

- Develop a sense of what style you want. I don't mean get serious about a specific floor plan yet, but determine whether you like Modern or Farmhouse or Cape Cod.

- Start looking at land. No decision you will make is more important than this one. Do you want to be in a neighborhood? on acreage?

- Make a list of your must-haves: an office? a large pantry? a basement? Only you know these things.

- Crunch numbers. Your budget is huge, but so is the spread. As you learn, consider seriously what you need /what you want ... and get real about your budget. A house this size isn't going to sell as easily as a typical 3 bed /2 bath ... so you need to be sure you're happy with it and want to stay in it.

Don't take any other steps until you've thoroughly done these things.

I always say that buying or building a house is the cheap part of the process and a known quantity. What will surprise you is the extra ongoing costs for years to come.

In my area a $5 mill project will have a yearly tax bill of $60,000 per year, with likely yearly increases. My DH grows vegetables, so our water bills are sometimes close to $1000 per month during the summer. We don't have a big lot! Utility costs never go down. We pay $500 per months for yard service year round because stuff keeps growing year round in CA weather. All these ongoing costs add up quickly to a significant amount.

While you're working on this Grand Design is an enjoyable series to watch dream homes being built.Here.

Take Kristin up on her husband's offer. I have done a high end, high tech house and my client knew more than the so called "expert". The technology is changing so rapidly that from the beginning of your design to the end of the build there will be a whole new set of "gee-whizzes" so be ready for that as well. There will be all kinds of new products and looks that evolve over this extensive of a project, so only a very well defined, specifically outlined, program of all aspects will keep you inside your true budget constraints. I am really happy for you and hoping you absorb all the above advice. It is the best and least cost of your whole deal!! lol

My dad has been involved in the construction of several high-end houses.

A giant takeaway is that changing your mind after completion of the planning stage is very costly. The farther along the house is, the costlier it is to change your mind about something.

For example, if you sign off on a tub for a guest room and then wait until the tub is bought and paid for, delivered, installed, and tiled into its surround to decide that you don't actually like it (no matter that it's for the guest room and you won't be using it) and demand that it's replaced with a different but still very similar tub, don't be surprised that the guest bathroom is now 50% over budget. (Based on a true story).

So plan, plan, PLAN.

And learn how to be decisive early on. Don't waffle on things. Be aware of what's expensive to change and what's not as expensive to change. If you want to move a non-load-bearing wall a few inches and the house is nothing but studs and there's no wiring in place, that's not so bad. It will still cost you time and money, but not too much in the grand scheme of things. Same with changing a finish before you actually order and install it - that's not a big deal. But if drywall and plumbing and wiring are all in and you decide that NOW you want a bigger bathroom with also a soaking tub in it, that's COSTLY.

Another good takeaway is to listen to the craftsmen and artisans on the project. They do what they do for a living, and definitely have a better sense of their craft and how it would work in your project better than you do. My dad listened to their concerns, and their advice proved invaluable. The culmination of small improvements they provided was astounding. Like if my dad had done as he'd initially planned in one house, it would have looked pretty bland, but one of the finishers suggested trying wood paneling for the vaulted ceiling with the trusses instead of plain drywall, my dad took the advice, and now I couldn't imagine the house any other way.

And one more thing. You guys want to build a NICE house. You have the means to do so. I highly suggest perusing mcmansionhell.com for learning what NOT to do with your house. You want quality, not quantity. You want a beautiful house for you and your family. You do not need or want to keep up with the Joneses or try to impress anyone. Build a beautiful, high quality house that works for you and with the land it's on. Don't worry for a second what others might think. Don't worry about how tall their stupid great room ceiling is or how many bottles of wine they can fit in their fake wine cellar and that you might need that nonsense because THEY have it or care about having it. If you don't want it or don't care about it, don't worry about it. Build your house for YOU and your needs.

Summit Studio Architect's advice is spot on: Assemble your team as early as possible in the process. The design--and construction cost--of your home are site specific, so have your architect and builder assess any properties you are considering to purchase vis a vis the type/size/style of home you are considering. They can guide you regarding required due diligence before purchase such as survey work, soil testing, etc. to ensure you don't purchase someone else's problem property.

Best wishes for a successful project.

Perusing McMansion Hell is a brilliant suggestion. That blogger provides a fabulous education. WRT to becoming decisive, this is one of the reasons you need to absorb a great deal about what the possibilities are and what you think about them. It is also important to be sure you are learning side-by-side with your spouse and discover where you and he/she stand on issues and who is smarter/more thoughtful about what. If there are any big disagreements about style, it's best to figure out who is going to win, or what the compromise will be now, rather than once you are under way.

This is all great advice, very helpful. Beckysharp, thanks for all the links and the detailed lists. This is extremely useful to me, I'm so grateful for all the info!! Kristen S, I'd absolutely love to chat with you. I don't know how to PM on this site but I'll see if I can figure it out and reach out to you!!

I was definitely expecting this project to take years, which is why we bought a house to live in that's good enough to be stuck in for a while. We planned to spend the next year (or longer if needed) finding the land, which also involves a question of which city we'll ultimately wind up in. We figured it'd take a few years after that to build. I was guessing 5-6 years total, my husband was guessing 2-4 but he's an incurable optimist. I also figured that I should spend a lot of time and energy on planning, and I should research everything and teach myself as much as I can. I've spent the last six months reading up on different construction methods, materials, etc. I'm nowhere near an expert and still consider myself a noob but even that much education has been helpful so far! And of course, doing a remodel (which I'm currently in the middle of) has been a good education. It's forced me to learn abut all the different material choices, and I've already learned from a few mistakes.

My biggest worry is still finding the right architect and builder, but this has helped me figure out how (an when) to start my search.

My husband and I have been going to open houses nearly every weekend for a year to gather ideas. 99.9% of the houses on the market feel very similar when it comes right down to it. A couple have had one or two outstanding details we'd want to copy. I haven't yet come across any with more unusual finishes: polished concrete floors, countertops that are anything besides granite or quartz, steel construction with massive room span and walls entirely made of windows, smart houses -- haven't seen any in our search to date. These are things you see on pinterest or on TV, not at open houses! I think for that stuff, I probably will have to rely on chatting with people, especially online, to learn their experiences.

Any and all advice is appreciated!

Since you're somewhat near Portland and looking for a more modern home, this one might be worth taking a peek at for ideas if you can schedule a showing (they don't do open houses).

https://www.redfin.com/OR/Portland/9912-NW-Wind-Ridge-Dr-97229/home/26323373

And if you're going to make the trip, this one (less unique, but very modern) is right down the street.

https://www.redfin.com/OR/Portland/445-NW-Skyline-Blvd-97229/home/25760909

Kristin, We are about 15 minutes outside Portland in no traffic, and find ourselves there really often. About half of our house hunting has been concentrated in Portland. We love Lake Oswego and are considering that area, but beautiful as it is, it' felt a bit farther from the airport than we'd like - my husband flies a lot for work.

We came across the Skyline Blvd home on redfin, but never saw it. As there's no open house, they asked us for an approval letter to schedule a showing, and it didn't feel worth getting just to see this one house. BTW that house felt like it might've been the most expensive house in Portland! We didn't see anything else for sale close to that price. You can see why, looking at the pictures. I'd describe it as "extra"!

We will definitely try to check out that Ridge Dr home, we could schedule to see that one -- it looks nice! I LOVE those windows!

Yeah, the stone one is crazy. The owners own one of the big stone yards in town, and their product is on full display in the house. The price is also insane, and I can't imagine they're going to get it (but I've been surprised before with that sort of thing.)

Your first step was correct. You asked the question. Now, spend some time on these forums. I suggest you review the Appliances, Kitchen, Bathroom and Buying and Selling Forums, too. You will learn a lot by just observing. Don't be afraid to ask a question. Develop a thick skin, but keep an open mind.

Once you identify the general area, I suggest you engage a realtor to help you identify the lot/land. Nothing really happens until you have the land. The realtor can provide you with a local builder who can act as a consultant on the land selection. It doesn't matter if they haven't built a home similar yours. For the purposes of this consultation, a good lot is a good lot. You don't have to use them to build the home. Just use them as a consultant on land suitability.

While you are doing this, you can begin to define your needs and wants. Even though you haven't decided upon an architect, you can still start defining what you think you want, such as how many bedrooms, baths, kitchen, garages, etc. It's just a very basic list. I suggest starting a bubble diagram. It will help you to speak "architect" when the time comes. This should help:

Bubble Diagram

We are all very excited for you. This is going to be fun. Please keep us updated as you progress. There are so many resources at this site. Use them. Thick skin-Open mind.

"Thick skin-Open mind"

That's a pretty great motto for all dilemma posters!!!