Thanks, everyone...I was in quite a mood when I wrote the OP. I'm feeling better today...even after 5 years we seem to have our moments or days...anyway, I didn't mean to sound as if I don't have any relationship with my nieces and nephew. In fact, I do...I just don't get to see them as much as I would like. THey live 4+ hours from me and I'm in Grad school. But I'll be graduating in May and will have a lot more time to go and visit. I just feel guilty sometimes that I don't get up there enough. And YES...there are many other circumstances that make contact akward at times...but we get through them on the most part. Again, I am so grateful for those of you who responded and showed such kindness. I will definitely not be so shy anymore and will check in on you all. You are all such an amazing bunch of people...compassionate, strong, and expressive. Thank you again, Adrienne

I disagree with Emily_mb. In my home growing up in the '60's, we had stainless wall ovens and cooktop. Stainless has been classic for the kitchen for decades, and isn't going anywhere. She didn't specify what "first signs" she is referring to, but you can open any Architectural Digest, which typically shows $100K kitchens, and find stainless appliances. You will also see panelled appliances there, but panelling appliances is more costly. You have not mentioned a budget, which it would be helpful to this thread if you did. Anyway, things that go "out" quickly, usually have also come "in" quickly, such as avocado green appliances, which burst on the scene in the '70's, and then were gone just as quickly. Having said that, I myself have white cabinets and a mix of stainless and white appliances in my kitchen. The combination is a little more "homey" than all stainless would be. I also have my dishwasher panelled, because that appliance is the most prone to water drips down the front.

Thank you Anglophilia and mojomom. We are pretty set on having the extra bedrooms in the basement. As mojomom said, this is very common where we live , even in high end homes, and I have no qualms about it whatsoever. Mushcreek, I am glad you chimed in. I have followed some of your threads and really respect and admire what you have accomplished. We will also be DIYing some of our build (although not nearly to the degree that you did). rrah and mushcreek, I'm glad to hear that you enjoy your deck space. We will have to think about what will give that space the most utility for us personally. jannicone, thanks for answering my question. These insights are helpful. chisue, I appreciated your post. Good point about living spaces. I hesitate to use the word "forever home" but we really do plan on this being the last move we have to make. Obviously life could throw some unforeseen circumstances at us, but barring anything really really surprising we plan on staying here. Again, this is a very rural area, and people just don't buy and sell to the same extent that they do in the city or even larger towns. To me, it's almost a foreign concept to buy/build for every stage of life. I'm trying to stay away from the idea of building the "perfect" home. We do want a well built and thoughtfully laid out home. If that doesn't work perfectly for every stage of life, that's okay with us. I've seen the small farmhouse that my dad was raised in. He had five siblings, and they also took in his grandparents towards the end of their life. Looking at it now, it would be almost inconceivable for even a family of three to live there, but they obviously made it work (although I'm sure it was far from ideal). Standards of living sure have changed! I also think that's one of the big advantages of a forum like this. As we move through the planning process, I may not necessarily know what we'll need for those different life stages, but people here who have been through that can hopefully offer some insight and advice based on their personal experiences. chisue, I also thought it was interesting that you said "You don't want to spend your children's growing up years concentrating on creating The Perfect House to house them." That's a great point, and also one of the reasons we're not building yet! Our children are young, and building a house is a big commitment. We're doing okay where we are for now. We plan to GC our own build, and also DIY a portion of it. I know that's going to take a lot of time and focus, and I'm not prepared to take that away from my children right now. When they are a little older they'll be a little more self-sufficient, and also able to contribute more to the process.

How nice that your DH does such nice woodwork! . Kitchen layout - I have some concerns.... Aisles...It looks like you are measuring them correctly for the most part (counter edge-to-counter edge, not cabinet-to-cabinet) - with one notable exception - in front of the refrigerator. If the refrigerator is a counter-depth, be aware that it's depth will be around 31" plus an inch or so behind it for plug, water line, anti-tilt, etc. So, figure 32". That means it will stick out approx 6.5" past the counters. You show an aisle of 52.5" b/w the island an left wall; however, when you factor in the refrigerator, the aisle is only 46" in front of the refrigerator - and you have a seat there. That isn't wide enough. I would eliminate that one seat and give your self more useful work room on that island. (If the refrigerator is a standard depth, then you have even less space - subtract another 5" off the aisle.) . Ovens...You have your wall oven and MW in the middle of your seating area - I wouldn't want someone sitting there, especially if I was trying to use the wall oven. Opening it will send out a blast of heat, you will have to maneuver around someone sitting at the island to be able to put food in or take it out, and, finally, many of us have discovered that the best landing space for a wall oven is actually across from it - which you will not be able to use b/c there will be people and/or stools in the way of using the island as landing space. Do you have any landing space on the left side of the wall oven? I think it says "bookshelf" - so is that a full height bookshelf or just in an upper or base cabinet with counter b/w the cabinets? I'm not convinced the "catchall" counter will be available for use as oven landing space. Ditto, btw, concerning the MW, for the most part. . Island...if you plan to prep on the island, then the island is a major barrier island - it's b/w the refrigerator and the prep space on the opposite side of the island. If you plan to prep on the perimeter b/w the sink and cooktop, then the island is no longer a barrier. The prep sink, in that case, would be OK for a second person prepping (who would still have to deal with the barrier island) - just not for a primary prep area. I would then move the sink as MamaGoose suggests. The other issue with having your primary Prep Zone on the island is the DW - if the door is open while someone is loading or unloading, you won't be able to use a lot of the island for workspace. We have close to 47" b/w our peninsula and our sink wall and that's just enough to pass by an open DW door - but not enough to work opposite it - and you only have 1" more. Oh, and I'd add another 2 or 3 inches to the length of your island You need: 4 seats at 24" linear space each = 96" seats on the short end need 15" of clear leg/knee space as well = 15" 96" + 15" = 111" Your island is 109", only a couple of inches shorter. Will it matter? I don't know...are you a tall or large family? If so, then those couple of inches may very well make a difference. (You don't have to answer that here, just be honest with yourself privately.) I know there has been some discussion in the world of Kitchen Design about changing the guidelines to specify 30" per diner rather than 24"... Bottom Line: I would eliminate the seat in front of the refrigerator and add a couple of inches to the length (toward the FR end) of the island. If you eliminated that seat in front of the refrigerator, you could then get a 30"W x 24"D cabinet there (drawers, of course!) - a nice chunk of cabinet storage that's not broken up or too shallow. It would also then make it easier to access the refrigerator. Do you really need 6 seats? I would hope that when your entire family is present for a meal that you will be using the Dining Room - table seating is much more conducive to family bonding than counter seating (think of a diner with counter seats - they're great for strangers, but not so much for family!) Five seats should be plenty for snacks/quick meals, even when your boys have friends over. . Mudroom...Is it also your Laundry Room? Do you plan to put a door b/w the Laundry Room and the Mudroom to separate the rooms? Personally, I would not want everyone coming in via the Mudroom to see my dirty (or even clean) clothes! Separate rooms would be better. Better yet - can the Laundry Room be moved to wherever the bedrooms are? That's where most laundry comes from, so it makes sense to locate the washer & dryer where the clothes will be coming from/going back to. Does the Mudroom have a "Command/Message Center"? If not, consider one in your "wasted space" area. It would help keep the non-Kitchen clutter out of your Kitchen! Make the Garage/Mudroom door a sliding door (36" wide) Move the door down closer to the cabinets Put in a "Command/Message Center in the corner space you now have. Train/encourage everyone to drop their keys, phones, mail, etc., in the Command Center, not the Kitchen on that "catchall" counter! Note: I'd move both doors in the Mudroom down - they'd still match up and you can fit either cubbies or a closet on the "top" wall of the Mudroom. Is it wide enough? It depends, are you planning to put in a closet or cubbies? If cubbies, I would keep them shallow, no more than 18" deep b/c you need room to maneuver while taking off boots, shoes, etc. A closet will need to be 28" to 30" deep, including walls. There isn't enough room for a closet along the side walls. . Other comments.... Will there be enough room b/w the cooktop and cleanup sink for you to prep (since you said you like to spread out)? Because of the locations of the cooktop, refrigerator, and work side of the island, the most logical place for your Primary Prep Zone is the counterspace b/w the cleanup sink and the cooktop. You will gain more "floor space" and usable workspace if you make the corners 90-degree cutouts instead of diagonals. It will also open up the Kitchen space in general. Open shelves in your "Baking Zone" - with flour flying around, do you really want open shelves? If you are going to have open shelves near the cooktop, be sure you have very good venting - -- A hood at least 6" wider than the cooking surface and at least 24" deep -- A fan at least 600 to 900 cfms (more if you fry/stir fry a lot or grill inside) -- A hood that's vented to the outside -- A hood that is shaped so it adequately captures the grease, smoke, steam, fumes, odors, etc., since you won't have any cabinets flanking the hood to help corralling the grease, steam, etc.