It happens!

Recently while get my dog groomed at the vet, I particularly wanted his nails trimmed. His nails are a bit tricky and although I can do them, I don't think I do them short enough. Well, the groomer cut one nail too short. Blood like you wouldn't believe. (We stay as my dog is reactive)

It happened to me while grooming my previous dog, a Golden who was very easy to groom.

Since the dog was okay, I probably would not have told her while on vacation, but would of course mentioned it when she got home.

Saypoint, you are a caring and responsible person.

My take: you are annoyed at yourself for acting too quickly by grabbing the scissors instead of the clippers. Now you have the guilt of "hurting" the dog. I personally don't think you need to see a therapist over this, but if it continues to bother you, maybe it means you are emotionally saturated at this point in your life and certainly than seek help.

Heck I stabbed MYSELF on the arm last month and I should have known better too. I'm over it and so is the dog. Life happens for them, they experience it and they move on, they don't sweat the small stuff and you shouldn't either.

Edited to add that I would feel bad too and I do understand how YOU feel. Try to not let it destroy the rest of your time with the dog, which could be fun for you and the dog. Otherwise the dog will pick up on your mood. Stuff happens but remember it is still a wonderful world and you're doing a very nice thing for a neighbor and a dog. Focus on that.

Would you ever make a person feel inferior? What kind of a person does this? Think hard and put yourself in her place. Could you do that to someone? You should think hard about a person’s character before allowing her power over you.

When my little Maltese was alive I accidentally nicked her cheek with scissors. She was sitting there all nice but suddenly jumped up. Blood on white fur. I was freaked out and made a bad dash to the vets. It turned out to be no big deal. My mind wouldn't rest though as I kept thinking of what could have happened. I would have been even more distraught if it was someone else's dog. I felt so stupid doing such a stupid thing. I now do no touch-up grooming between professional visits without using little round tip scissors. No therapy required. I just learned a lesson from the experience.

I only pet sit if there is a death in the family (must be immediate family) and there is no time for other arrangements to be made.

Not that it's related to your feelings or the dog nic ...just curious, is she paying you? I ask because pet sitting is a job.

I would also feel horrible, I agree with others that time difference and internet/cell access can be a challenge.

Saypoint, Well that's nice! Try not to beat yourself up too much over your mistake. You'll just know never to do that again.

Saypoint - I'm sure you are relieved that your friend seems to understand the situation and I am so sorry that you're feeling this way. Like you said - and others mentioned - I do think there is a lot more going on beyond a simple little accident. I'm a little curious and please ignore this question if it's too personal but do you enjoy caring for this dog and all of these bizarre rituals? This is beyond high maintenance. If you at all still feel guilty about this just remember that your friend would probably never find a kennel or another individual who would devote so much time and care for her pet. I hope she appreciates all that you have done and thanks you appropriately - and brings you a lovely gift for all that you have done.

As you've been hearing over and over from other posters, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. I can't imagine how many options your friend has in terms of getting care for her overly pampered pet, so what you have done for her is way over and above what most people would do. Don't let this woman take up any more space in your head. And I agree that it would be best not to care for the dog again. You can be perfectly honest and let her know that providing such specialized care was very stressful. You are a better person than most!

Disapproval or an angry response from this particular friend would be devastating to me to an unhealthy degree. It’s a weird long-time relationship in which I’ve been made to feel inferior for a long time, for a variety of reasons. As I said, not healthy, probably not good that I live so close to her that frequent contact is inevitable. I’m actually contemplating moving over this situation, that’s how upset I am. We just moved in here 18 months ago.

This is really the most important part of the thread. I don't think your post is about dogs, it is about this. I am also not sure how 18-mo.s is long-term unless you knew this person before? And does anyone else "make you feel inferior"? If so, maybe it is you. If not, why spend time with her? You can just be the "wave hi" neighbor. Seems to me you are manufacturing stress.

As a dog lover, this seems to really be in the category of not a big deal. Of course you feel bad in the moment, but your feelings like that should be for the DOG, who was slightly injured, and not the owner, who is far from injured, but to whom you are doing a HUGE FAVOR.

You are human (a very caring one), and so don't beat yourself up over this slight accident. Just an accident. For perspective, here's a quick story about two of my friends.

Friend 1 asked my friend Alexa to watch her brand new, expensive, agility puppy from big-time agility bloodlines. Adorable puppy went everywhere with Alexa, because who wouldn't want to spend every minute of the day with a puppy like that, lol. The puppy was in her lap, and accidentally fell out the door of her jeep when she opened it to exit. The puppy broke its leg, and though it was set, the puppy was never going to be the same. So, what Friend 1 got, was not only her puppy (now, never going to be the agility star she hoped), no money for another agility "star" to bring along, plus massive vet bills....

Guess what? She wasn't mad. She knew it was an accident and that's life. Her concerns were for Alexa, who felt terrible. And her puppy was still as adorable as ever, and everyone moved on. Your situation isn't that bad! You're a good friend, and the dog's okay.

OMG, wait, so you have known her for 40years? and you moved into her neighborhood? I am so sorry about this, of course it is painful. This is now much more complex. ETA - the relationship, not the dog incident.

As the nuns who taught us in school used to say "what can we learn from this?" Of course this came after we said a prayer to the Blessed Virgin and asked the Holy Spirit for wisdom........which was not always effective.

This truly was a stressful situation for you and I hope you get past it without beating yourself up any further. You did your best and that's all any reasonable person can ask - actually what you did was over and above what any paid dog sitter would do. I don't know any friend or family member who would be so caring and conscientious. I hope when your friend returns that she is gracious, kind and appreciative. Do you think you would be willing to dog sit for her again? I know I couldn't do it myself - too much worry, hassle and responsibility and I have dogs myself.

Might the overreaction be a result of coping with the other stresses in your life? It seems irrationally out of proportion to the event. Sometimes 1 final goddam thing is enough to push us over the edge emotionally, even when it's not really related.

If I had a friend like you caring for my beloved TRIPLE HIGH maintenance dog, I'd thank the good Lord every day.

What you did was prevent the dog from a possible infection in her lady part's by washing her. Tell your friend she was very messy and you were trying to keep her still and ended up nicking her & called the vet.

If your friend doesn't thank you profusely, then it's time to end the friendship. Anyone who makes you feel inferior is simply not worth it. Look at the emotional and physical pain you're already in ONLY because you fear her reaction to you.

From now on, just wave hello to her and go on with your day. :)

For starters - She didn't let you off the hook, you weren't on the hook. The dog is fine and you were helping her out. If she does offer you a little something I would graciously accept it. It could be for any number of reasons that she gives it to you - she knows her dog is a big time chore, (I would never look after a pet that required that level of spoiled care), she feels bad that you were going beyond taking care of her pet and there was an inconsequential accident.

What I would caution you about is carrying this incident into your relationship going forward . You did what was necessary by contacting the vet and keeping an eye on the dog, and notifying her. You don't owe her anything else. Please, let it go.

you're an amazing friend, wonderful, caring, very sensitive and extremely responsible person

it has its effects-heaviness of feeling so responsible. It's not a big thing what has happenned, and could happen to absolutely everyone, and in the end it wasn't anything remotely real bad.

It's the stress of responsibility that wears you out. You put all your soul into it-it's additional feeling of responsibility since the dog's not yours-something relatively minor pushes you over the edge.

I do think(I can't know for sure of course) I get well what you feel ..I'd overreact like that too, very likely so. It'd be less how, objectively, the dog is hurt..it'd be this huge sense of weight that you, in your mind, didn't balance just so, for a moment. .

I was having nightmares for years, almost every day, over something that could have happenned to somebody who wasn't mine but was left in my charge. Nothing happened during all these years-yet nightmares were there:) Three or four years of different nightmares, same topic.

I'm glad your friend answered, the dog is doing fine, everything is fine. Now I hope it's your turn to feel fine

40 year relationship can get turbulent, undergo changes, and of course it's very important..it transforms as life goes but it's there. It probably matters a lot, a lot to both of you, forty years is a very long stretch of time. I'd guess your friend appreciates you much more than it might feel right now. She'd better:)

I wish you calm..and hugs.

Just goes to show what a nice and caring person you are! I always think/say people that love animals are THE best kind of people! This relationship sounds like it causes you more stress than good times. I hate that for you.

I had a moment like yours this morning. I went to a very small private school from 5th-graduation. Everyone knew everyone. A neighbor two doors down was also in the band, and he was older so I rode with him a lot. We were close, but not BFFs outside school. He moved several states away and we reconnected almost a decade ago on FB. Long story longer, his BFF has been his dog and I loved to read his stories about their adventures. I have been dreading (for him, for both of them really) the day the dog passed away. I log onto FB this morning and see the dog (yes, he had him a FB page too) had changed his picture to the Rainbow Bridge. My heart just sank... I'm tearing up now! So my friend made this long post and I was just crying my eyes out. When DH got back home, I told him M had passed away and got choked up. I feel so bad for my friend. His world has fallen apart again. His partner/SO was killed crossing the street not long after we reconnected on FB, and M really was his world. :( Loosing a pet is so hard, and we have 3 senior dogs and 2 senior cats.

Saypoint, I really hope you are feeling much better about yourself and this whole situation today. Please don’t feel bad about the dog, and what happened. You have gone above and beyond, imo. And your neighbor should be forever grateful. As many have said, she could not get this kind of care from just any old place.

It is so easy to let ourselves get worked up of how we perceive ourselves to others. Just relax and be your sweet, caring self.

Just for the record, clippers can cut and nick the skin causing bleeding also. I cut my dog a few times when clipping her, she was a poodle. You are like me, you are an over-thinker/worrier...HAHA!

Lol, Maddlelee. No wonder the dog wants to go out at 4:00. It's rewarded to wake people up.

It's not the dogs fault though, it's owner is making it neurotic.

It all comes down to the dog's people.

You are a saint. And if a paid dog sitter or a kennel did all that stuff for two weeks it would cost your friend a small fortune.

The dog is just a symptom of a greater problem.

"No one can make you feel insecure without your consent" and as you have admitted, this is not a balanced relationship. You are struggling with a lot of emotional turbulence and it would be helpful to seek professional intervention. The way you handle people who make you insecure is to turn your attention inward and shore up your own self-esteem. There's many short-term therapeutic modalities that would help you learn to navigate healthier interactions.

Heck, I adopted a dog from hell and that first month about killed me (really). I can't imagine going through all you did for someone else's dog. You must be EXHAUSTED and stressed. You will feel completely different after a week of rest.

I'm the BIGGEST animal lover in the world, and I have absolutely no patience or use for people who mistreat animals for even a split second. But DO NOT beat yourself up over this! It was nothing more than an innocent mistake, and done while you were giving tremendously, loving, kind care to this little one.

"No one can make you feel insecure without your consent." I've read that many times over the years and it's not true. A lot of it has to do with genetics & our life experiences. Some people who were severely abused as a child can rise above it and never look back, while others cannot.

If someone looks down on you it can do a real number on you mentally, no matter how strong you are.

It happened to me after we moved to this extremely cliquish town & it still bothers me. When my boys were in elementary school, I was driving on our dirt road towards town, I saw a lady I had met who was/is very friendly to me, walking with her friend, out for exercise. Let's call her friend "Y." I stopped my car to say hello, and while my new acquaintance and I chatted, Y was shooting daggars at me. She just stared at me in complete silence. It would have been nice had my friend introduced us.

I'd run into Y in town and she'd ignore me like the plague. Everybody else I met was very nice, and I was invited to gatherings over the years.

Well, my and Y's sons joined the same fraternity. Did she acknowledge my existence? Oh he!! no. Still won't.

I've since been told she comes from old money, related to a lot of people in this small town, and is the Queen Bee of all the women here and her head swelled quite a bit. When I do run into her I turn around and walk the other way. But it does hurt since she's never had a conversation with me once. AND she's a devout Catholic who sings in the choir. Jesus must be so proud. Said in jest. :)

Say, the Little Princess goes home today, right? I want details! Remember, we're all right there cheering you on!

So, Saypoint, how are you doing today? Since your charge was pretty much unscathed by his/her adventure with you I thought I would share what our adopted dog from hell did today.

Here is my husbands brand new John Varvatos suit. He put his jacket over the back of the kitchen counter chair for about a minute while measuring the front door.

oh my - Terrilynn - how awful.

I know, real awful.

My dog prefers to eat a potted plant while I'm washing the interior tile floors, wait till I'm done, & dump the rest on the clean floor. Lucky I was able to shut the slider before he scattered it on the area rug.

JT, if it makes you feel any better, last week my son had a game 2 hours away right near the beach. My parents have a vacation home nearby so rather than drive 4 hours back and forth in one day, we decided to go to game then stay for the weekend at their house. We left our 8 y/o dog and our nearly year old adopted dog (abandoned pup we got when she was about 12weeks) at the house while we went to game. We left the pup crated, as wfe always do when we leave her alone. When we came home, she had chewed up the plastic tray that lines the bottom of the crate, right down through the carpet under her crate as well as the carpet pad to the plywood underneath. I almost threw up, I was so upset. I wish I had taken a picture of the entire mess but just have one of the damaged carpet so I could show my parents. She has never been a big fan of being in her crate but has never done anything like this. she has been to this house many times over the summer so it’s not like it was new to her.

Saypoint there‘s dog sitting then there’s crazy dog sitting. You were a saint to dog sit for your friend‘s dog with all the quirky rituals. I am glad your friend forgave you and would expect nothing less. She should be grateful to have a friend who endured those crazy rituals. Never again and don’t feel guilty about saying no! Now you can get some much-deserved rest.

terrilynn, don't remember what state you live in. If it is So. CA, I have a great dog trainer. It was pricey, but she performed miracles with the high drive, high energy shep mix we adopted.

It takes a lot of energy to train some dogs. It also takes a lot of energy to look after some dogs for other people. I do it as a living and some dogs are just more difficult just like some people are.

Training a dog a lot in the basics in the beginning for about 10 to 20 minutes a day helps the dog to learn to pay attention to you better. New to you dogs and Puppies are very destructive sometimes but they do usually settle down and outgrow it. What they don't outgrow without a lot of exposure is unknown and unfamiliar things. Train your dogs in every kind of environment that you can.

Praise and use treats and or a squeaky ball and or a clicker until the dog pretty much automatically does what you are requesting no matter where you are.. It really helps the dog to know that you need their attention no matter what.

I think my best tools are having taught my dogs and other people's dogs to leave it and also to look at me. That along with sit and stay helps in most instances.

Saypoint, glad things are settling down and life is getting back to normal.

4Kids, oh my, I would just die! How much $ did that set you back? Yikes.

Chrispa and Yeonassky, I have had rescue dogs for thirty some years but never one like this. And, like most people who have trained so many dogs I thought myself a bit of a dog trainer. Not so in this case. My dog did/does do well with my basic training. I do short trainings several times a day. He is a very high energy dog so several daily short training sessions along with dog puzzle toys, occasional swims and walks are a must.

Heeling, he knows to heel and mostly heels well, sits, stays, down and has good eye contact unless...we come across other dogs (leash aggression) or we come across frogs, toads or any small pray. He is not improving. Strong prey drive. Sudden prey drive. He also has food aggression. That comes and goes and is not just a warning bark or nip if a food puzzle toy is involved (I'm working around that).

Anyway, long story short is that several attempts of socializing ended in disaster. I did have one time where things went well for a short time. Then, dog failed his dog day care interview. Such deflation! I nearly ended up in the hospital due to sudden jerks/fleeing towards prey on leash or his extreme berserk behavior on leash if other dogs are near. At the end of the first month I was about dead. Although, dog had calmed down a lot while indoors.

Desperation. I crawled back with one working leg, crooked painful back and bum arm to the big rescue ranch where I got him. They have amazing trainers there. I was told it might take a few weeks. I left him there and had some glorious rest. While the dog was there the dog ranch temporarily took in dogs from the shelters in N.C. Everyone was so busy that there isn't much of a change in the dog.

Eating clothing is new. Dog did not like his people on the other side of front door without him being with them.

Anyway, I have the number of one of the ranches dog trainers for home visits. This leash aggression just isn't going to fly. Not in this neighborhood and not with young children around.

terri, that is exactly the type of dog that my trainer performs miracles with. My dog had many of those behaviors too. I'll send you a message with the main trainers website and you can see if they have someone in your area.

Thank you Chispa! I'm going to look into that now. I will give a future update.

Eld, We thought very very seriously of taking this dog back and leaving him for good. But, look at him. He's a cartoon character who loves us. One good thing is that he loves all people. That's about it though on the good qualities list lol.

He's super cute but he does have crazy eyes in that picture :) Bless you for stepping up to the challenge.

Personally I've found it usually takes 2 years particularly with leash aggression. You have to consistently catch the dog before it has a leash or any other kind of trigger reaction. And that is very difficult! I literally turn around and run the dog the other way all the while saying leave it. I do a lot of treating him/her while saying good leave it afterwards.

One of the dogs I had was very food, leash and prey aggressive. It took me a steady 2 years but he was the beloved animal throughout our neighbourhood after that. It doesn't always work mind you but often it does.

On the note of food aggression what I did was I fed my dog by hand every morsel he got for those 2 years. My big 110 lb husky lab, Jagger, had to rely completely on me to eat. He really now knew what I wanted of him by the end of that extensive training. He lived to be 17 years old which is almost unheard of for a big guy like him.

Good luck with the people you have coming in to help you. The dog is worth it.

It doesn't have to take 2 years, you have to be open to other training methods that are outside of the current group think in dog training.

I agree normally it doesn't but that's what happened for me personally. I tried about 5 different types of trainer's programs with their assorted methods. Nothing worked so I had to do it myself.

The first trainer I used told me it would probably take 18 months to make a change in the dog's behavior. I'm thinking the dog is already 2 y.o. and might only live to be 10 and I'm going to let her live nearly half her life in a state of high anxiety? It seemed like a terrible way to have to live.

I looked for a better training method and found one. She was a changed dog in a month after training and has enjoyed a normal life this past year with off leash hikes and can handle pretty much any social situation with people, dogs and critters. She still loves to hunt, but I get to decide if it is a good time/place to allow a chase.

chispa, would you mind sharing info on the "better training method"? Many thanks!

Bestyears, I was keeping it vague because discussing dog training methods can be equal to politics! Try telling some of the militant rescue groups that you will be using a different training method than the one they strictly follow ... you will never get a dog from them!

Here are two articles from two opposite theories that gives you an idea of how they think.

1) https://positively.com/victorias-blog/balanced-dog-training-theres-nothing-balanced-about-it/

2) https://www.nitrocanine.com/blog/2015/06/12/in-defense-of-balanced-training/

With my rescue I started out with a purely positive trainer. It worked great in the house and yard as the dog is very food motivated ... BUT outside none of the training made a difference. Critters and the chase were a much higher reward than anything I could offer. I even tried carrying filet mignon! I was being dragged around town by a crazy dog ... even with the easy-walk harness the positive trainer told me to buy. The dog just walked sideways and pushed into the harness.

The last straw was when on a walk the dog nearly knocked me, and my father, to the ground when trying to get a squirrel. I had to kick the dog to stop her lunging and get us untangled (my Dad also had our smaller dog on leash).

I looked for a different approach and found "balanced" training. The trainer I found is slightly different from #2 above in that they do use food rewards. Happy to message you a link to the training program website and the actual trainer I used.

We now go on off leash hikes and I get stopped regularly by people who comment on her behavior and level of training. I got so many questions that I started carrying business cards for the trainer!! One of those people actually contacted and used my trainer, even thought she isn't local.

Do your research and choose the trainer and method that best works for you and your dog. The best method will most likely be a combination of several different ones.

Thanks, Chispa, I watched your link, and am very familiar with Dr. Yin and Victoria Stilwell. You'll have to count me in the "purely positive' camp I guess, although of course, that is a misnomer. It's simply operant conditioning that rewards the positive behavior and ignores the negative behavior. We've had really excellent results with my son and daughter's two rescues using these methods, so I wasn't asking so much for a training method to implement, but just out of curiosity. It's interesting to me because having raised a couple of kids and been a school teacher for a while, I got on the 'reward the positive' train a while ago. It's amazing what a classroom full of wiggly third-graders will do when you are handing out stickers to the kids who have put their backpacks away and are waiting patiently at their desks. Many similarities to dog training. Year after year, I watched the teachers who relied on threats to call parents, clipping down, etc. really struggle to manage their classrooms while the 'operant conditioning' teachers seemed to manage their classrooms effortlessly.

We have different opinions, and I appreciate your sensitivity to that, so I don't want to come across as maligning your beliefs at all. As long as your trainer didn't use the incredibly frightening techniques used by some trainers, I'm glad you have a happy, well-behaved dog who is no doubt living a good life.

Chispa, I have been reading and watching a few vids and can see why you didn't go into great detail. I started using one of the controversial items a week ago and am now seeing great improvements with the walks. I still need more confidence around other dogs but had a very promising experience this morning. The dog didn't have the controversial item on but had learned from it. No wild craziness at all with another dog near-ish. He sat. We might be able to retire the item. I think watching the vids will help kick it up a notch for me as we have a ways to go.

We have had to learn a few things by trial and error with this nut, a vibrating collar worked great for training the dog not to bark and attack the neighbors fence to get to their dog. The vibrating collar was useless to use against prey drive and leash aggression during walks.

The beeping option on the collar along with the command "soft and gentle" works well when he gets too rough with the little dog.

Of course lots of praise and treats when he does well.

I'm determined to have a happy healthy well trained family dog.

Terrilynn, dogs are creatures of habit and if a different tool or method works to change their (bad) patterns then it is worth trying. I can now pretty much just use verbal commands to stop my dog from chasing critters, very little need for any tools, not even a leash. Consistency is key, for everyone in the family that interacts with the dog. Keep us updated on his progress.

Thanks Chispa! The good thing is that I'm slowly getting to the point of not having to use tools. Still needing the beep though.

I hoping to be were you are with your dog eventually.