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Obsessive Quests for Decorative Elements

IdaClaire
5 years ago
last modified: 5 years ago

I don't find myself obsessing over items all that often anymore, but when I do, it tends to become A MAJOR QUEST to find exactly what I'm after. I’ve had this discussion with my elderly mother, and she agrees that sometimes finding a certain item leads a person on a wild goose chase, and the deeper the chase goes, the more of a determined obsession it tends to engender.

Case in point: I’ve been tweaking our master bedroom a bit to give it more of a southwest vibe. I’ve managed quite well by replacing a couple of pieces of artwork and adding the perfect rug, but when it came to switching out a couple of decorative pillows, I’ve just had the hardest time. Recently I went from big box to big box trying to find a couple of throw pillows in a southwest or boho style, having seen things in the stores not all that long ago that would have sufficed nicely. Naturally, when I start looking in earnest, I can’t find a darn thing. I have never seen such a proliferation of pillows ordering me to “Gather” and “Give Thanks” though (and this past Saturday I was so inundated as I went from place to place that I had some rather dark fantasies about ripping those pillows to smithereens right there in the aisles, fiberfill flying everywhere as I shrieked my disdain).

I have truly come to understand that when I don’t want it, there it is. And when I’m looking for it, it no longer exists.


(I ordered the decorative pillows from Etsy sellers in Turkey. Talk about having to go a LONG way to find what ya want!)


One of the last updates in the bedroom was the replacement of a couple of king-sized decorative pillow shams, and I wanted a very specific “spice” color. I looked high and low, exhausted every online outlet I could think of, and finally – FINALLY! – found exactly what I was looking for on eBay when I came across an old (but still in the package) set that JC Penney had once carried. I pounced on those suckers.

It’s so satisfying when it all comes together, but I tell ya … The older I get, the less I enjoy the quest. It’s exhausting. Can anyone relate?

Comments (43)

  • bossyvossy
    5 years ago

    It’s always a nightmare for me b/c I’m a pillow person. You’ve already placed your order but World Market has a really good selection of the Turkish pillows. I bought a couple which I didn’t keep b/c too big. I actually thought about keeping but pillow hoarding? I had to draw the line

  • Fun2BHere
    5 years ago

    I usually end up paying more than I want to after an exhaustive search, then three to six months later, the exact item I want shows up everywhere.

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  • nini804
    5 years ago

    This is a real problem for me. I absolutely do not like buying anything that is too easy to find, apparently. And typically, what I like is always over what I’d prefer to spend...so I either wait or do without. Probably helps me to be somewhat minimalist! :)


    I’m even having this problem with getting a new car! I need a new car bc younger child will be getting her license in Dec and will be acquiring my very large, very old SUV. I am excited to get a smaller, pre-empty nest SUV...but I am so picky! I want something “unusual,” not the typical mom of teens car that everyone around here has. I was with a friend and saw the prettiest, most unusual, small SUV in a parking lot. I was smitten, but couldn’t figure out what it was. My friend told me, ”Um, yeah, that insignia stands for BENTLEY.” Sigh. My darling car is $225,000. So...of course no go, lol! But now I compare everything else to it. See?? I’m ridiculous! And still driving my 2006 SUV, lol!

  • rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7
    5 years ago

    I often use NOVICA as my muse for home decor, gifts, clothing, and accessories.

  • Nothing Left to Say
    5 years ago

    Yes, I can sympathize. I have been thinking about which hand towels would look best in the powder room since we moved in. Nearly two years ago. Today I thought, pink. That’s what would work in there. So then I decide Turkish towels would be best because they dry faster and roll up small so I could easily store a couple in the powder room itself. So then I go to Etsy and now I’m down a rabbit hole of price and shipping costs and stripes or solid. Seriously, I make this too hard.

  • maddielee
    5 years ago

    Nini, there was recently an article in one of my husband's car magazines about the Bentley. The article compared it's looks to.......a Ford Taurus!

    I can't find the exact article but here's A link to another.

  • Sueb20
    5 years ago

    Yup, yup, yup. BTDT.


    In our new house, we have two window areas that are just right for houseplants. We have always had plants, but they were more out of the way and I didn’t care so much what kind of pot they were in. In the new house, one spot is in the dining room and the other is in a beautiful bay window in the stairway. I’ve been searching for The Perfect Plant Pot like it’s my life’s work.


  • IdaClaire
    Original Author
    5 years ago

    So it's not just me then. I'm not sure if that's a comfort, or just more reason to want to scream. ;-)


    I looked at pillows on World Market's website two or three times -- kept thinking there must be something I missed -- but none of the colors were quite what I was after. I didn't even think to look at Novica, though, so appreciate the reminder about that site! Of course, now that I've pretty much got my pillow issue squared away, I'm seeing a number of things there that I really like. Of course. I TOLD you this is how it goes.

  • IdaClaire
    Original Author
    5 years ago

    I’ve been searching for The Perfect Plant Pot like it’s my life’s work.


    LOL! Those last five words ... That's it exactly!

  • Peppapoodle
    5 years ago

    Yes!!! And I would join you in the pillow aisle--poly would be everywhere-tearing up command pillows!!! I got a tickle from picturing that, thanks!!

    I, like Nini, will usually find it-but it's way over what I had to pay.

    I was on the pillow hunt awhile ago-went everywhere-stalked Homegoods weekly, pottery barn outlet-weekly-sigh. Exhausted, I finally ordered custom off Etsy in some fabrics I could never afford anything in but pillows. And then I was underwhelmed &the pillows were still more than I wanted to spend. Sigh, again.

    I don't think I'm an "on trend" person- everyone raves about Homegoods & I've only bought organizational things &chandler soaps there. Hobby Lobby--I know better to even think I'll get crafty (just donated my scrap booking supplies-never used.

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    5 years ago

    I find it hard to balance.

    On one hand, we all enjoy this (decorating), yes? So what's the rush. And we like looking.

    Sometimes I do a room in a fell swoop in less than a week. Every.thing.

    OTOH, we have been in our "new house" over 8 years, and I still have not found what to put in these little shelves around the perimeter of our octagonal LR. I am pretty sure i never will.

  • nini804
    5 years ago

    That is hilarious @Maddielee, and very comforting actually. I can tell myself I really don’t want the Bentley suv bc the lights look like a Taurus! Maybe my lust for it is some sort of subconscious nostalgia for my internship in grad school for a local government. The town used Tauruses for official vehicles. :)

  • l pinkmountain
    5 years ago

    I have two problems. First, I look in the obvious places locally or regionally or basic online. Can't find what I want. Then I start looking deeper, and even go to Etsy. Then there are so many choices I don't know what to do. And inevitably the stuff I like the best is out of my price range!

  • Rita / Bring Back Sophie 4 Real
    5 years ago

    I don't have this problem with accessories- furniture is another story, though. There are some Gustavian dining chairs I have been looking for the past three years, for example.

  • IdaClaire
    Original Author
    5 years ago

    When I’ve been searching to no fruition, it’s all too easy to rationalize paying entirely too much for something – even if it’s not exactly what I had in mind, but will “work” well enough. Thankfully, I’ve gotten a lot better about turning right around and talking myself out of doing such a thing, reminding myself that there’s no need to be foolish about pillows (or whatever). And truthfully, sometimes when I DO back off from a purchase and just give it some time, I find that my interest in whatever-it-was that I was initially so gung-ho about fades. Sometimes I even decide to go in a different direction, and am then really happy not to have bought something that I no longer really even want. Unfortunately, an issue I’ve had when finding something online that’s unique and wonderful is that all too often, it’s located in deepest, darkest Timbuktu, and is ready-to-ship 317 weeks from today.


    I know I’ve said this before in the forum, but I used to be SO enamored of HomeGoods. When we moved into our current home a little over three years ago, I discovered one that had just opened up a couple of miles down the road – a sparkling new store, filled with all sorts of affordable treasures. I bought some lamps there that I still love, as well as a number of kitchen items. However, the shine is off, and the last couple of times I’ve ventured into that store I swore never again. (Yeah, I’m a slow learner.) The place is now jam-packed with crap, and I do mean CRAP, spilling out all over aisles that are too narrow for two small shopping carts to pass at the same time. It’s a mad jumble, where you’re likely to find completely unrelated items right next to each other … gourmet dog treats on the aisle with the fluffy bath towels, for instance. It’s a shame that whatever happened to that place happened, as it used to be an enjoyable experience to go there, even just to browse.

  • User
    5 years ago
    last modified: 5 years ago

    Whaat? Only carp at HomeGoods? Where's my receipt so I can return this?



  • cyn427 (z. 7, N. VA)
    5 years ago

    Nini, check out Audi! The allroad or the Avant are both not too big (Avant wagon is smaller) and I love mine! Have had both models.

  • 3katz4me
    5 years ago

    I find something I like at Home Goods every now and then though it's usually towels or other bathroom stuff I'm looking for.

    I've been on an obsessive quest to find new light fixtures for about two years After another go round online today I'm starting to think it's hopeless. I give up for a while and then try again. I never want what's popular - bronze and polished nickel - NO, bare bulbs - NO, industrial/cage look - NO and so it goes. I'm thinking ray of hope with the aged brass now available but I need three different types and can't find all in something that goes together. Not only do I not like bare bulbs, I don't want to see the bulb at all.

  • Bumblebeez SC Zone 7
    5 years ago

    Years ago, I was in my local Tuesday Morning and they had the most interesting metal buckets. A local interior designer who I knew was there too and she thought they were great. So I bought it and loved it.

    2 years later, it was in the Pottery Barn catalog. 5 years later, they are now in Hobby Lobbies in all sizes and colors.

    The pierced olive bucket.

    I wish this was an isolated thing, but it has happened so many times that now, I buy handmade, American artisan, original, small numbers, stuff. Lol. When I can find what I like at my budget.

    But I'm so jaded on uniqueness it doesn't really matter anymore.

  • Nothing Left to Say
    5 years ago

    Bumblebeez, we used to live very near the Alameda Antique Fair. Many times I would buy something “unique” there only to find it mass-produced six months to a year later. It was a scouting area for home design people.

  • User
    5 years ago
    last modified: 5 years ago

    Ha, just last night I pulled almost an all nighter on a quest for a specific planter. (Ok, I did get side tracked searching a few other house things too.) I've been hunting casually on and off for 6 months and one simple search last night set me off on a chase. I'm a night owl but that's just not smart anymore. I can get very tunnel vision at times but I've noticed I enjoy the search much less. It's now something else to add to my todo list and I consider it, most times, a chore. The idea of researching anything...ugh, I just don't have time. I just don't want to! Yet... I still want that specific thing. :) Etsy and ebay usually come through for me. I could get all kinds of off topic here but I'm going to try not to! I usually don't see anything at TJ Maxx and those places anymore other than maybe a pretty dish/server/pitcher once in a while so I typically order fabrics online and make stuff. (I think I'm just paying for someone else this time around.) The new fabric I finally thought I settled on for my one room seems somewhat popular online. Maybe. I think we're heading into that decoration trend shift. So now I'm debating if I want it. I don't know anyone IRL who would have it or care but I noticed I don't always want to do what everyone is doing. (Hello Keto and intermittent fasting. I finally caved with this one.)

  • Sueb20
    5 years ago

    Related to my planter quest — I wanted some kind of table or stand for the plants In the dining room. Right now, they’re on a table that’s not really right. I wanted something at window sill height, close to the width of the sill, and not too deep. Around 24H x 42W, which is an odd size. I finally found this, which is meant to be for shoes and boots in an entry but is just the size I want and I think it will work in my quirky DR. So don’t forget to look in other departments during your quests!



  • jakabedy
    5 years ago

    OMG, this is so much me. I spent months -- MONTHS -- trying to pick out a backsplash tile for the kitchen we redid in 2009. Just this year I vacillated so over the choice of fabric for my very first big girl custom draperies. I have such a fear of regret; of not turning over every stone to make sure my choice is Just. Right. After the drapery experience I vowed to start making quicker decisions and recently did so when I bought FLOR tiles to make a new rug in the living room. I am so proud of myself. I only pondered for a week and then pulled the trigger. They're here and I'm super pleased with them. I hope tomorrow to pick out a paint for the fireplace and just go with it. It will be FINE!! Of course part of this personal improvement plan involves not going back to look at options once my decision has been made. It's tough to do, but it helps.

  • mtnrdredux_gw
    5 years ago
    last modified: 5 years ago

    Home Goods does have a lot of krap. But they also really have interesting things sometimes, too. A very cool huge "embroidered" mirror i got the girls, a great silver engraved tray with stand, and a cool little coffee cart//bar are some of my fave purchases. I also love my grey and white striped woven laundry baskets from there, which I have only seen elsewhere in one spot (west elm iirc) for 2-3x.

    I looked for a long time for a rug for my foyer when the one I had from ABC Carpet NYC ripped. My budget was generous IMHO ...up to 15k, but the vintage, faded oushaks I liked were usually more. I bought a rug for $120 a year ago at Home Goods, and every time I pass by it I think how much I like it. Same with my $100 chair in my MBR in Maine.

    When I was staging my house in NJ for sale, I bought two small "leather" arm chairs for my LR at Home Goods. I got so many comments and inquiries on them,far more than my stuff from Baker, Kindel, and Stickley. Go figure.

    They say each HG store gets different stuff, and I have found that to be true. There are 3 or 4 stores within 30 min of us, and one near my Maine house. Of those, 2 stores i never go to. Never like their stuff and yes, it feels a mess.

    They have terrific wrapping paper and cards, too.

  • chispa
    5 years ago

    I'm right there with the rest of you ... currently trying to pick out the perfect backsplash. Just ordered some more samples from the tile store. I've spent hours moving the tile samples around at different times of day and just not ready to commit and miss out on the perfect one!

    Reminds me of this:

    Muriel Blandings:
    I want it to be a soft green, not as blue-green as a robin's egg, but
    not as yellow-green as daffodil buds. Now, the only sample I could get
    is a little too yellow, but don't let whoever does it go to the other
    extreme and get it too blue. It should just be a sort of
    grayish-yellow-green. Now, the dining room. I'd like yellow. Not just
    yellow; a very gay yellow. Something bright and sunshine-y. I tell you,
    Mr. PeDelford, if you'll send one of your men to the grocer for a pound
    of their best butter, and match that exactly, you can't go wrong! Now,
    this is the paper we're going to use in the hall. It's flowered, but I
    don't want the ceiling to match any of the colors of the flowers.
    There's some little dots in the background, and it's these dots I want
    you to match. Not the little greenish dot near the hollyhock leaf, but
    the little bluish dot between the rosebud and the delphinium blossom. Is
    that clear? Now the kitchen is to be white. Not a cold, antiseptic
    hospital white. A little warmer, but still, not to suggest any other
    color but white. Now for the powder room - in here - I want you to match
    this thread, and don't lose it. It's the only spool I have and I had an
    awful time finding it! As you can see, it's practically an apple red.
    Somewhere between a healthy winesap and an unripened Jonathan. Oh,
    excuse me...

    Mr. PeDelford:
    You got that Charlie?

    Charlie, Painter:
    Red, green, blue, yellow, white.

    Mr. PeDelford:
    Check.

  • Allison0704
    5 years ago

    It's that decorating gene - gets you every. single. time. I am on the quest for to many things, which leads to not a lot getting done at the moment. Mostly due to the fact DD1 wants/needs the house done sooner than I do. A few days ago, I told her that's part of the fun for me, and I do not want it "finished" fast!

    DH always used to joke I was looking for something that didn't exist yet, which was often the case. Several years later (whatever-it-was) would pop up in the decorating world.

    It's a curse, but also a blessing imo, to love designing.

    6yo DGD spent last night with us. Curtains are being made for the house, so we slept in DGS bedroom last night (less intrusive exterior lights) and there is a dresser in his closet on one wall. The other wall has two rows of hanging with shelves above. The lower shelf is being used as table lamp storage (and there might be a couple on the floor too). She said "you have lamps in your closet." Then after my explanation, she said while giggling "I'm glad the closet in my room at home is normal." Obviously, she did not inherit the decorating gene. ;D

  • palimpsest
    5 years ago

    Since I buy vintage I have also bought three to get a good pair of two, bought one and waited years for a mate, bought things in horrendous condition and waited years to refurbish, things like that.


  • jill302
    5 years ago

    I can so relate to this thread. First it takes me eons to decide on what I want, I do overanalyze on my home but once I decide I am generally very happy with what I have chosen for many years. Seeing all the options available online makes things so much more difficult, it gives me the sense that if I imagine something exists it must be out there somewhere. Unfortunately many times if it is exists it is quite hidden, the size is wrong or as others have mentioned when I do find it the price is far above what I want to pay. Add that to the fact that I try to stay away from trends for the most part, finding what I want can be extremely difficult. The hunt for the perfect item becomes less fun as time goes on, but that does not mean I give up. If the search goes on too long, I may use something else with the thought of replacing it once my perfect item is found.

    It would be so much easier to be like a few of my friends that follow trends and just replace everything every few years. They can decorate an entire home to magazine worthy status in no time. In all honesty I think my husband would prefer that I take that approach but it would not give me the original home where I am surrounded by things I truly enjoy.

  • chispa
    5 years ago

    It took me 2 years to find my dining room table and it was pricey for us at that time. I still have it, use it, and love it 18 years later.

    Just got one of those bath caddies for a free standing tub. It took me years to find it! The chrome ones were too common, the plain wood plank ones too contemporary, etc.

    I was at a store that sells asian/indian furniture and antiques. They had narrow old carved panels. I bought 3 and had them joined to make a plank. It looks great and fits my Spanish style house.

    Now I just have to find the perfect orchid and pot to place on it ...

    Allison, I also always seem to search for that item that doesn't exist!

  • beckysharp Reinstate SW Unconditionally
    5 years ago

    This is me too. I'm either looking for something that's not available, or it's available but not for those on a budget in rural remote Canada. Usually Etsy is a great workaround, but I seem to have located the few Etsy craftspeople making the few things I want who will NOT ship to Canada, and I'm in that small percentage who don't live an hour from the border. Argh.

    I've loved block prints for years, since I spent a summer in southern France more than 40 years ago and brought home some Souleiado toiletry bags for my mother, sister, and me. I was thrilled when they became popular again recently, but finding what I want in my price range and getting it shipped here are certainly hurdles. My current fixations are block print gathered lampshades, like these,

    https://www.pennymorrison.com/lampshades/

    and affordable Roman shades in a blue and white ikat or block print pattern. I had found some I liked at blinds (dot) ca the other month, just after we moved into the new house, ordered enough in one pattern for my bathroom and bedroom (two each in pattern #1) and the upstairs reading nook (two in pattern #2), figuring I'd have a chance to look at them in person before deciding on the seven for the dining room. The day after they arrived my husband and I installed them, I decided I loved them and wanted pattern #1 for the dining room. Only to go to the website to place the order to find the pattern discontinued. I could have cried.

    And if anyone runs across a dupe for a Robert Kime suzani ottoman, please let me know : )



  • Allison0704
    5 years ago
    last modified: 5 years ago

    becky, if you ever want to send something from Etsy (or anywhere) to me, I will happily work with you to get it to Canada!

  • chispa
    5 years ago

    A long time member, who doesn't post much, helped me get something from her local craigslist. I am in LA and she is in Minneapolis. Some great people/friends here!

  • beckysharp Reinstate SW Unconditionally
    5 years ago

    Thank you so much, Allison! I will keep your very kind offer in mind : ) .

  • Peppapoodle
    5 years ago

    Becky, I second Allison’s offer!! Cruel mountain on Etsy does custom lamp shades- I haven’t spoken with her. It’s on my list!!

    And I guess HG differs in areas.

    I had to go to Hobby Lobby today & noticed this sign.......

    Does anyone else think this is self- boostin??


  • Peppapoodle
    5 years ago



  • beckysharp Reinstate SW Unconditionally
    5 years ago

    Thank you, Peppa!

    Cruel Mountain is one of the places NOT shipping to Canada, sigh.

    The lovely thing about your home is that your interiors, and those of everyone else in this thread, actually say, "Come in, we're awesome" without needing a sign : ) .

  • Zalco/bring back Sophie!
    5 years ago

    Show, don’t tell, is the old writing precept. ^^^^

  • Peppapoodle
    5 years ago

    I know the lady that saw me take a pic of the sign thought I was crazy!! Ha

    But, yes--I suppose that is why we care (maybe too much)about our homes &come to this forum - because we do want ppl to come in & have a lovely experience in our homes. I love when my friends/family fall asleep on the sofa or come over in what we call-soft clothes aka pj's!! It means they feel just as at home here as they do their own homes.

    DH ships stuff all the time, so if you find something.......


  • beckysharp Reinstate SW Unconditionally
    5 years ago

    I love when my friends/family fall asleep on the sofa or come over in what we call-soft clothes aka pj's!!

    I've never heard of visiting in your pjs! At least not for adults : ) .

    DH ships stuff all the time, so if you find something.......

    Thank you again so much, pp, I will keep that in mind!

  • Peppapoodle
    5 years ago

    Lol--not really pj's, but come home from work comfy clothes!! These are very close friends-through thick and thin!!

  • Mrs. S
    5 years ago

    I have all of these issues you all are talking about. I think I like something, but as soon as I find out something can be "custom-ordered", it's all over. I run around town like a crazy lady, obsessing. A frequent obsession of mine involves dog collars/leashes and Etsy. We have 5 very active dogs (hard on collars), but I'm damned if I'm going to walk a dog without a perfectly coordinated, matching spiffy collar and leash, complementary both to the dog's fur and dog's personality. With a handmade, coordinating hand-hammered dog tag. In metals that match the snap on the leash. Or name embroidered on the collar. In script. In a matching color.

    I love it, but I also know there's something wrong with me. Sigh.

  • aprilneverends
    5 years ago

    yes I can relate

    I don't think something is wrong with me..I just like to get things right once, and "they" always change what "they" carry.

    now I finally really need to reupholster dining chairs, and I'd just gladly repeat what they are now because I like it and I get used to things I like, but of course the fabric is discontinued (bought it in Calico Corners)

    currently considering something from British shop on Etsy..50 $ per meter..which is quite good in comparison to other options I like..

    (and for the shipping they want 40 bucks too

    and what if the photo doesn't exactly captures the background correctly?all four of them? lol)

    in order to save money, I'm thinking of redoing just two most used captain chairs..I'm okay with worn stuff, very used, lived-in stuff but it becomes more than that, it becomes torn to shreds. Wasn't a great upholstery job either I must say-which contributed to the problem.

    I also have a favorite pillow..I abused it so much the fabric on it really needs to be changed/repaired. .it being cotton..discontinued of course since I bought it years ago. I'm stuck because it's a very interesting shape..and a very nice combo of colors..and frankly I've no desire to really change it, I just want to snap my fingers and make it whole again.

    In short it's not me, it's them. lol

    I'm not mentioning the broken and glued (twice) vintage pendant, which is one of the pair..I already lost hope to find the same, and I put in search on all sites known to me, to get notifications and stuff. So it hangs there missing a piece. Reflects my state of mind probably..

    and yes, it can be fun, this quest, but right now feels exhausting..and not something that leaves me excited, currently. It's a chore, something that needs to be done rather than something I want, and that I have to do well-and my chances are small, and limited.