> I'm trying to tell my girls that I need emerald green, the color of pastures and fields. They think I should be "pastel". Pah. What do kids know? That pastel thing does seem to be something we go through and grow out of. I guess it takes a real woman with a certain experience like thee and me to handle strong colours! Do you know, a jewel-like green was what I had originally in mind when I went fabric shopping before I fell for that red.... >> I love the way you did just what you wanted and made your wedding your own. There's aplace for tradition, I suppose, but we should all make our own traditions as we feel comfortable doing. Indeed. And we did follow many traditions. But for us it was important to think about the origins of them --- why they got to be traditions and whose traditions they are. In many cases some things that people think of are long and important "traditions" turn out actually to be pretty recent, at least in the context of how long folks have been getting married! (The white dress thing was started by Queen Victoria, for example. And the couple processing *together* as we did turns out to in fact to be a very old tradition; in fact, even the current official Catholic ritual (don't know about any other denominations) gives several options, NONE of which calls for the groom waiting at the altar while the bride's father "gives" her away. But I LOVED exchanging rings --- the symbolism of eternity in the circle is lovely. And we had a unity candle, a lovely newer Catholic tradition. We wanted a toast (who couldn't use all the good wishes anyone can offer them?) but R. doesn't like champagne that much and a good one was beyond our budget, so we toasted with the local apple cider, available in both alcoholic and non-alcoholic versions. And so on. >> Elery thinks we should write our own vows. I wonder if "you're only second in my heart to my horse" is appropriate. (grin) After all, he IS working on that number one spot..... Hee, hee. Well, I think it is very good to keep him working on it! After all, he who is #2 tries harder. ;-) Vows are one place where we surprised ourselves. I am a professional writer and editor, and assumed that of COURSE we would write our own vows. But as we looked at the standard Catholic version, we found that it said pretty much everything we wanted to say. So we did end up going with "tradition" there, though I have heard some very lovely and meaningful own-written vows, too. We did draft a few words for when we exchanged rings, for which DH's first suggestion was [deep, menacing voice] "I have you now, bwah hah hah hah." I think he was a bit startled when I called his bluff and started to write that down.... ;-) I know you will do things just right for YOU, when the time is right. (Wondering if you can involve the backhoe somehow....?) ;-) Zabby

sol, Frances appears to be doing pretty well, she's worried about her hair and makeup and that's always a good sign. They are only allowing Elery's Dad to visit once a day, it's going to be a slow recovery since she's 80. Since Elery's Mom passed away a couple of years ago and his Dad married Frances, a childhood sweetheart, about a year after that, I just keep praying that the poor guy doesn't have to lose another spouse so soon. She's 80 and he's 84, they got married on Valentine's Day, 2006. Annie

Kasey I have been lurking here for awhile. I normally "hang out" in the Kitchen Table and Florida gardening forums. I was a DJ specializing in weddings for over 20 years so I may be able to offer some suggestions. How long you book the music for can depend on the type of reception, number of guests and also the "partying level" of your guests The "standard" 4 hour wedding I use to DJ in NJ would generaly break down as follows First hour: cocktails Second hour: bridal party intro first dance toasts dinner That leaves 2 hours for dancing , cutting the cake and throwing the bouquet If you think your family and friends are big dancers you might either consider not having a cocktail hour that will leave another hour for dancing or going with a 5 hour reception. Hope this helps Karla P.S. feel free to email me through mypage here if you need any hints or tips :)

If the bride's parents are the hosts of the wedding, it is nice to hear from one of them to thank everyone for coming to share their special day. Then say something about the lovely couple, either a special memory, or what the future promises, or some family story. I remember the story my DH planned to share -- when we knew this was a serious romance. DD came home from San Francisco for Thanksgiving to tell us about this young man she had met in September. She told the story of her group bar hopping in the city one night and meeting up with other friends. She discovered that everyone else had had their dinner, but she had not. She was worried how to get some food as the bar did not serve food, so our now son-in-law suggested they go down the street and get her a pizza. But she was worried that everyone else would hop on to the next bar, and he assured her that they would still be there when they got back. So there they sat at the pizza parlor at a table just large enough to hold the pizza pan and not her drink. Thus he held her coke for her as she ate her pizza and sipped the coke. I knew as soon as I heard this story that this was her Mr. Wonderful. Then the groom's father got up and told a darling story about his son as a boy -- how he was good at catching frogs and none ever got away from him. He tied it into catching a wonderful girl.